


Floor It

by smttnpegasus (butwhowouldbuythecupcakes)



Category: Stick It (2006), The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/F, F/M, Flashbacks Galore, a tinsie bit of smoot, enjoy, i do change somethings though, just read and find out, stick it!au, the movie is awesome and this au begged to be written
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-09
Updated: 2016-06-28
Packaged: 2018-06-07 10:24:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 53,261
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6799927
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/butwhowouldbuythecupcakes/pseuds/smttnpegasus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lexa is a world class gymnast, or at least she used to be before she shockingly walked out before her floor performance at Worlds knocking Team USA completely out of medal contention. When she gets on the wrong side of the law she is forced back into a world she had run from for over a year.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys I know a lot of you have been reading my Family Is What You Make It universe, this will be very different, but I absolutely love the original inspiration (Stick It…If you haven’t seen it I would usually say go watch it, because it is amazing but for the purpose of not spoiling this fic, I’d hold off. But either way the movie is fantastic.) and Clexa fit it so well. This will be a very Lexa-centric fic but trust me Clexa will happen, just read it to find out. I will be posting chapters every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday unless I tell you otherwise. Have fun guys and let me know what you think.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter Lexa does something really impressive rapidly followed by something really stupid.   
> Also helping an injured stranger can start something amazing.

The sun was high in the sky as she pushed her bike down the steep embankment leading to the construction site. The new subdivision was far from being done but the pools had been poured at the beginning of the summer and the angles were perfect for achieving maximum air time.

She pedaled hard and pulled out in front of her only real friends, Gustus and Lincoln. Gustus was a big guy and he was usually quiet, but never let anyone come close to disrespecting her. Lincoln was  a little too  caring for his own good at times but she needed someone to care about her. They had been the only ones to stick around when everything went to shit. She still remembered running into them that first day when she ran to the skate park just to get away. They had both just stuck by her since and she was unbelievably grateful, but never mentioned it. They knew she wasn’t one for heartfelt thanks.

She could feel the sweat dripping down her spine in the hot Texas sun but the coat was necessary to keep her skin where it was if she crashed.

They reached the house they had scoped out as having the deepest pool and slipped around the scaffolding. She parked herself on top of a rather large mound of dirt and was content to watch the guys get warmed up. These were the few times that she could forget that her life sucked, but even now somethings just wouldn’t leave her be. Like blue eyes and a brilliant smile. She shook her head to clear the image. It would only make everything worse at this point.

Her eyes flicked up when she caught movement from the next house over. Her gaze hardened when she caught site of Murphy and his goons. She had really hoped to never have to deal with them again after a fight had erupted at the skate park.

Lincoln looked up and noted their presence, “Oh, no. We were here first. Go find your own pool.”

Murphy's face scrunched in disdain, “None of the others are as deep.”

“You are not good enough for the depth to matter,” Gustus said rather matter-of-factly.

Murphy stared him down and then looked up at the house. He pointed to the roof, “Off the roof, onto the slide, and into the pool gets to stay.”

There wasn’t any discussion between her group, they all knew she was the best of the three. After years of gymnastic training the transition to BMX was pretty easy. She immediately grabbed her bike and headed into the house to get to the roof. She waited while Murphy tried his hand at the difficult jump. He made it off the roof and onto the slide but he hit with too much speed and came crashing down the side of the pool.

She took a deep breath and started her descent. She ground down the ladder and cleared it with enough air to kick her bike around before coming down on the slide. She had immense speed coming out of the slide and used it to flip herself completely before landing in the pool and coming up the other side. She cleared the lip with ease and decided to show off throwing in as many tricks as she could while still being able to right herself to land it all. She realized the problem when she sling shotted up the other side and into the big window of the house. She tucked her head as she crashed through the glass and hit the decorative railing catapulting her over and onto her back.

She gasped for breath before rolling over and shaking the glass from her coat. Thank goodness she hadn’t forgone the precaution or she would have been shredded. Lincoln was their soon and checking to make sure she was okay. Gustus was busy trying to get her bike out of the railing.

“I’m fine, Linc, just help Gus with my bike.” She said and stood pushing the hood off her head.

“Sure, let me just make sure no one heard that,” He jogged to the front door and pulled it open and the horrible high pitched sound of the alarm started blaring through the house. Lincoln winced, “Now the alarm goes off!”

He ran to Gustus’ side and when he saw how the tire was bent into the railing he shook his head. “No time, you have to leave it.”

Gustus nodded and looked to her and she nodded and ran for the door. The others had skateboards or bikes to ride away on but she had no option but to run. SHe put her head down and bumped her legs. When she reached a fence she vaulted over it and hit the dirt of an alley. She pulled her coat off quickly followed by the thick shirt she had on underneath maybe if the cops didn’t see her clearly she could still get out of this one. That proved to be incorrect when a squad car with lights flashing pulled into the alley in front of her. She cut hard to the right and took off running again. Her heart was pounding in her throat and her legs burned and for once she wished she was back in gymnastic competition shape. She used to be able to run for miles.

* * *

_The wind whipped through her hair as she pushed her legs. This last hill was always the hardest part of this particular route but she like that is blew her lungs out right at the end of her run. Lexa had been running these same hills since she was young. They gave a great opportunities to push herself but still pedal back if her training called for it. She tried to match her stride to the quick pace of her music. She was cresting the hill when she saw someone sitting at the base of the big oak about twenty feet away. Usually she would tune out the world while she ran but something about the person drew her in. She slowed her run down to a walk when she was about six feet away and realized the person was a woman with her blonde hair pulled back in a messy bun. She also had one shoe of and was flexing her ankle slowly._

_Lexa stopped and watched. The woman winced when she moved ankle a particular way, and Lexa knew the signs of a sprain even from a distance. She closed the space and pulled her ear bud out, “Hey, are you okay?”_

_The woman turned her and Lexa was floored. The woman had the bluest eyes she had ever seen. She wasn’t one for overly dramatic description but those eyes were like living sapphires staring up at her. She was so mesmerized she almost didn’t hear the woman’s response, “Yeah, I’ll be fine. Don’t worry.”_

_When she heard her voice it hit her all of a sudden. She knew who this was. She had seen her a meet for years but had never actually taken the time to talk to her. Now she wish she had. This was Clarke Griffin and soon they would be on the same team headed to the World Championships._

_“Clarke? Clarke Griffin, right?” Lexa said squatting down to get and even better look at the woman and there was no mistaking it now._

_“Wait how do you…” The blonde looked up and seemed to really see Lexa for the first time. Her cheeks pinked slightly as she took in the sports bra clad woman who was leaning over her. There was no mistaking the woman, how she hadn’t realized who had stopped to help was purely because she hadn’t been really paying attention. Lexa Heda was one of the best gymnasts to grace the stage. “Oh, yeah, and you’re Lexa Heda. What are you doing here?”_

_She asked the question without really thinking and Lexa seemed slightly taken aback but then smirked, “Well, the gym I train at is just up the road. I think the more interesting question is why are you here? And why do you not have both shoes on?”_

_Clarke wanted to facepalm but knew that would only make things worse. “Oh, yeah, I forgot you train at Wallace’s gym. And for your information I am here visiting family and thought I’d get  a run in to keep the rust off, but the shoe is because I obviously don’t know these trails. I rolled my ankle.”_

_Lexa frowned and looked down at the foot without a shoe couldn’t tell if it was anything serious but she did know someone who might have a good idea. “Why don’t you come with me to the gym. We have a trainer there and he can look at that to make sure it isn’t serious. Don’t want you getting hurt this close to Worlds.” Lexa threw in a wink at the end of the phrase trying her best to keep Clarke at ease knowing that an injury now could spell disaster for Clarke’s World team run._

_“Oh, no I wouldn’t want to be a bother.” Clarke said and grabbed her shoe and tried to stand but it was obvious the ankle was more than a little sore._

_“I’m going there anyway Clarke. Come on, as your future teammate, let me help you.” She extended her hand and waited hoping Clarke would accept._

_Clarke looked at the hand then down at her sock clad foot that was steadily throbbing with every beat of her heart and sighed, “Okay. Lead the way then.” Clarke gestured with the hand holding the shoe._

_“Umm…you want to walk there?I don’t think so. Hop on.” Lexa knelt down on to one knee and waited for Clarke to climb onto her back._

_“No way Lexa! I can walk.” She crossed her arms and shook her head for emphasis when Lexa turned her head to look back at her with an incredulous look in her eyes._

_“I’m  not asking Clarke. I was being polite but I will fireman's carry you there if I have to. You shouldn’t walk on that until you get it checked out. Now get on.” There was a commanding tone in her voice and Clarke seemed to understand that Lexa was an unstoppable force and here she was trying to be the proverbial immovable object._

_She huffed and relented grabbing onto Lexa’s shoulders and pulling herself up onto the girl’s back without putting any weight on her throbbing ankle. Lexa grabbed her legs and locked her hands in front of her to make sure Clarke’s legs couldn’t slip out. As she started back to the gym Clarke relaxed into her back and Lexa couldn’t help the small smile that pulled at her lips._

_“Are you positive your trainer isn’t gonna mind seeing me?” Clarke asked and Lexa almost jumped at the sudden voice in her ear. She turned her face and could see Clarke looking up at the trees as she walked along the trail._

_“I am positive. Jackson eats, sleeps, and drinks gymnastics. If he could compete with us he would, but alas that job is left to us.” Lexa smiled and turned her attention back to the trail knowing that the next bit was a bit tricky and didn’t want to fall herself. The two slipped into silence as Lexa walked and Clarke’s shoe thumped softly against Lexa’s chest, from where it hung on the end of her fingers, with each step._

_Clarke fiddled with her shoe and then sighed before asking, “Hey, Lexa?”_

_“Yes.”_

_“Have you ever thought about what you are gonna do after gymnastics?” Lexa thought for a minute and realized she really hadn’t. Her mother had started her out so young and the few years she went to a public high hadn’t exactly gone well._

_“Not really. I mean I want to do something outside of gymnastics eventually but I try not to look too far ahead. It messes with my focus, or at least that is what Wallace always tells me. Why do you ask?” It was strange to just talk about all of this with Clarke. Lexa was usually very closed off with those outside of her immediate family, even Wallace, who had been her coach for the past four years, rarely saw who she really was. But everything seemed easy with Clarke. Maybe she was just one of those people that it was easy to talk to._

_“Oh, it has just been on my mind. I have been thinking about what I am gonna do after worlds. I’d like to go into medicine like my mom but I’m just not sure. I love gymnastics, ...I know I can't do it forever." Clarke said and her voice was so soft Lexa was sure if it wasn't right in her ear that she wouldn't be able to hear her._

_"Maybe you could go into physical therapy, you would definitely understand where the athletes are coming from and how they feel." Lexa said and hoped it would help take the slightly sad tone out of Clarke's voice._

_Clarke let out a small chuckle and Lexa had to control the smile growing on her face, "That is actually a great idea!"_

_"Don't sound so surprised. I can be fairly intelligent when I have reason to be." Lexa jostled Clarke up a little higher on her back._

_They rounded the corner and Lexa could see the large building that held her training gym. She stopped just outside the doors and turned her head towards Clarke, "Here we are."_

_She looked up at the building and then looked back towards Lexa, "Are you gonna put me down now?"_

_Lexa smiled and shook her head, "Nope, but I could use your help with the door."_

_Clarke looked down and saw the plush cross bar. Lexa's hands were currently locked at her waist holding Clarke in place. She kicked up her good foot and pushed the door open so that Lexa could slip in. "We make a good team, Clarke."_

_"I guess we do, Lexa."_

_Both girls were smiling when walked down the main hallway and nearly collided with a man and a woman. The woman was without a doubt Lexa's mother, they had the same high cheek bikes and vibrant green eyes, though Lexa's mother wore quite a bit more make up. Clarke preferred the way Lexa looked right now. Her hair was pulled back into a high ponytail and her face had a slight shine from her run but she still looked beautiful._

_"Well, Sugar, what is all of this?"_

_The man looked up from where he had been unashamedly checking out Lexa's mom's ass and seemed surprised to see his star gymnast carrying another woman on her back._

_"What on Earth did you get up to on your run? I sent you to run not pick up chicks, Heda. Literally or figuratively."_

_"Well yeah, Coach, but this is a special chick. This is Clarke from the world team. She rolled her ankle on the trail I thought I'd bring her to see Jackson."_

_Wallace looked at her and then shrugged, “Fine, but don’t think this gives you a reason to be late for training. I want you ready and warming up on the tramp in ten minutes.”_

_“You got it, Coach. Oh and Mom, is Dad making dinner tonight?” Lexa asked and her mother’s face seemed to falter a bit, but then she smiled wide._

_“Sugar, you know I never know what that man has going on. Get along now so you won’t be late to training, cause you know Cage here wasn’t kidding.” She said and placed her hand on Wallace’s shoulder._

_“I’ll be there don’t worry.”_

_“You’d better, Heda.” Wallace said pointing a finger at her and narrowing his eyes._

_Lexa nodded and turned away down the remainder of the hallway. Clarke giggled softly and tensed her arms around Lexa’s shoulders, “Well, he is a bit of an asshole.”_

_Lexa smiled, “Yeah, that is an understatement, but he is a hell of a coach so I put up with it.”_

_They slipped into silence as Lexa turned the last few corners towards the training room. The door was propped open and Lexa walked in to see the man standing at the shelf organizing tape. He turned and smiled wide when he saw her._

_“Lexa what did I say about bringing home strays?” He said and motioned for Lexa to bring Clarke to one of the ankle taping tables._

_“That taking care of them will be my responsibility. But, come one, Jackson. Look at that face can’t we keep her.” Jackson laughed heartily at Lexa’s antics before turning to look at Clarke._

_“So, what do we have here? Clarke Griffin, I’m Jackson Sinclair.”_

_Clarke shook his offered hand but was a little taken aback. “How do you know who I am?”_

_Lexa leaned over and fake whispered, “Drinks, eats, sleeps gymnastics.”_

_“I heard that Lexa. But she isn’t wrong Clarke. I’ve seen you compete pretty often, your routines are truly amazing.” He said and knelt down to examine her ankle. After testing the limits of her mobility and pain range he stood. “Well, the good news is that it is a very minor sprain. A few days off your feet and you should be good to go.”_

_“And the bad news?” Lexa asked a little concerned that something else was wrong with Clarke._

_Jackson looked at the watch on his wrist and frowned, “The bad news is you are officially late for your work out. Wallace is gonna rip you a new one.”_

_Lexa looked up at the clock on the wall and groaned. She was gonna get it when she got down to the  gym._

_“It was nice to meet you, Clarke, but I have to go submit myself for torture. Jackson can you see her out?” Lexa said and tried to mentally prepare herself for the pain she was about to endure. Jackson nodded and she turned to leave._

_“Lexa, I’ll see you in a fews weeks at World’s training right?” Clarke called after her. She turned and smiled softly and nodded. This workout was about to suck but it was completely worth it._

* * *

Lexa wanted nothing more than to sink through the floor but that wasn’t likely to happen.

The judge was looking over papers and listening to the officer as she rattled off the thousands of dollars in damage her “vandalism” had done to the property. She was slouched low in her chair and was really trying to not look at the judge.

When the woman cleared her throat she looked up at the stern woman’s face. Her eyes were dark and seemed to blend with her dark skin. The hard line of her mouth made Lexa worried about what she was about to say. She motioned for her to stand and she did.  

“These are serious offenses Ms. Heda. Now you are not underage so this could very easily result in jail time; however, your father has graciously offered to subsidize two options to keep you from even more trouble. This will essentially be a parole with no time served as long as you do not leave unsupervised during the parole period of thirty-six months. Now, if you pay the restitution to repair the damages your parole will be lifted and you will be free to go. The options are Texas Military Academy and an establishment called KGA.”

Lexa’s eyes widened at the second option. How could her father really expect her to go for that? She straightened her back and eyed the judge, “I’ll go to the Texas Military Academy, Your Honor.”

There was a slight twitch of the judge’s brow and she started writing something on the papers in front of her, “KGA it is.”

Lexa was frozen. There was no way she was going back to that world. She had walked away and now she had no choice but to go back. Well, fuck.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter Lexa has words with her dad and says some hard good byes.
> 
> Also roommates may be random but fate is not.

Lexa had her hands balled into fists as she walked into her room. The last place she wanted to go was KGA. Okay, maybe not the last place but still it wasn’t going to be pleasant. She sighed heavily and looked at her walls. Everything was covered in rough graffiti and she had even defaced every single one of her gymnastics posters. She almost smiled when she saw the one that had her sporting some sick war paint and devil horns. Gustus had drawn that one when he had found her crying one day. He didn’t say a word but just grabbed a sharpie and started drawing on the posters, she soon joined him and found destroying them was cathartic. 

She went to her dresser deciding it was probably time to pack her things so she didn’t get carted to jail instead, though jail was sounding like the better option to her.

She pulled the draw open and blinked when she looked inside. It was completely empty. She checked the others and they were just as empty. Where the hell was her stuff? 

She heard the creaky board by her door and turned to see her father standing and leaning on the door frame. He had the same sad heavy look he always had now and it just pissed her off. She stared at him and refused to be the one to budge. He was already shipping her off, she wasn’t going to be weak in front of him now.

He just closed his eyes and shook his head in defeat. He grabbed a bag from behind the door and she recognized it as his old sea bag. It was stuffed to the brim with her clothes. He had packed all of her things already. She grabbed the bag and looked inside to check to make sure it was all there and it was. She noticed that none of it was folded or organized just shoved in the bag haphazardly. She would take the time to re-pack but that was a luxury she just didn’t have. 

“Couldn’t have folded any of this?” She said as she grabbed her gear bag and started loading it with the few things she cared to take with her outside of her clothes. Mainly the stack of notes she kept pressed in a book on her shelf and her iPod. A few books joined them and she doubled checked that the folded faded letter was still tucked into the small inner pocket of her gear bag.

She looked to her father where he had moved to sit on her bed. His shoulders were slumped and he looked so much older than he had two years ago. She wanted to wrap him in a hug the way she used to but the anger was still too fresh. He gave up. She needed him and he gave up. That was something she wouldn’t soon forgive. 

“Or just ignore me till you kick me to the curb? Basically did that already.” She said as she slung the yellow heavily decorated bag onto her back.

He looked up and sighed, “You used to be such a good kid, Lex. What happened, kiddo?”

Her knees almost went weak at the nickname. He hadn’t called her that in years. “You know exactly what happened.”

She grabbed the green sea bag and turned away and didn’t even think about looking back.

* * *

 

She was sitting in the passenger seat as the court officer was driving her to her internment. She was trying hard to keep her face as emotionless as possible. They stopped at a red light and Gustus and Lincoln pulled up on either side of the car. Gustus leaned through the open window and gripped her forearm, “How long?”

She took in a deep breath, “Not sure.”

“Don’t worry. We’ll come break you out. Here use this if they don’t take it.” Lincoln said and tossed his phone across the car and into her lap. 

She usually would be stoically quiet but she needed to say this in case she didn’t have another chance, “Thank you.”

The light changed and the officer continued on leaving Lexa’s only two friends behind her and it took everything she had not to look back. She had looked back last time and that last look still haunted her, she wouldn't make that mistake again. 

She took a deep breath and focused on where she was headed. Last time she had traveled like this it had been under much different circumstances.

* * *

 

_ The room was really bare and generic but Lexa only had to live here for a few weeks. She had most of her things unpacked and was standing  with her bedding in her arms trying to figure out which bed she wanted to use when a voice came from behind her. _

_ “You better not take the top bunk.” _

_ Lexa dropped her bedding and spun to see the blonde leaning in the doorway with her a hand resting on her hip. She smiled when she recognized the blue eyes and bright smile. _

_ “Clarke?” _

_ Clarke stepped into the room and surprised Lexa by wrapping her arms around her in a hug. Lexa wasn’t a hugger but after a moment she lifted her arms and hugged the girl back.  _

_ Clarke stepped back and her smile was contagious, “Hey.” _

_ “What are you doing here?” Lexa asked and then immediately wanted to face palm. Clarke was here for the same reason she was; to train for Worlds. _

_ “I’m going to assume you are asking why I’m in your room…or should I say our room, and not why I’m here at the training center.” Clarke said and went back to the door where she picked up her bags and a roll of bedding.Lexa was a little shocked she had assumed that she would be assigned to a room by herself since there weren’t many of them on the World team.  _

_ “You’re rooming here…in this room?” _

_ “Yep. Is it okay if I take the top bunk?” She said as she stood next to Lexa waiting to know where to put her bedding. Lexa seemed to snap out of the stunned state and nodded. _

_ "It's all yours." _

_ It took them an hour to get everything settled and they both sat on Lexa's newly made bed. Lexa noticed that Clarke was wearing flip flops and her ankle had a thin sleeve on it. _

_ "How is your ankle?" _

_ Clarke looked down smiled, "Jackson said it was right as rain but I left the sleeve on just to be safe." _

_ "Wait, when did you see Jackson again?" Lexa asked confused by the new information. _

_ "I didn't get a chance to work out before hitting the road this morning so I swung by the gym first to get the drive out of my system. I had Jackson check it out before hand. You didn't tell me he was gonna be the trainer for the World team." Clarke said. _

_ "I didn't really get the chance. Please tell me you didn't have him stretch you out?" She asked and when she looked at Clarke's face it answered her question. The pained grimace was plain to see. _

_ Clarke groaned and rubbed her shoulders, "He is evil." _

_ Lexa let a short laugh escape her lips, "Yeah, I swear he gets some kind of sick pleasure out of causing us pain." _

_ They both laughed and then lapsed into a comfortable silence. Lexa stretched her back and could feel the stiffness from her own traveling that day. She stood and grabbed her shoes from where she had stowed them under her bed, "I worked out before heading down today but I'm gonna go on a short run to work off the drive. I shouldn't be gone that long" _

_ "Oh I'll come with you." Clarke said as she jumped up to grab her own shoes. _

_ "You don't have you do that." _

_ "Lexa, we are teammates now and teammates work out together." Clarke said as she sat down on Lexa's bed to pull her shoes on. _

_ "If you insist, Clarke." _

* * *

 

_ Her breaths were coming hard and heavy and she was fairly certain that if Lexa didn't end this "short run" soon she was going to pass out. She looked up ahead and saw that she was waiting at the next turn for her, stretching her quads like she was perfectly fine. _

_ Clarke caught up and Lexa had to suppress a laugh at the death glare she sent her way. "I was wrong. Jackson isn't evil... You are. How is this in any way a short run? That was at least five miles!" _

_ "I told you that you didn't have to come  with me. Clarke you need to stand up..." She noticed the woman was leaned over with her hands on her knees gulping down air. She reached for her and placed a hand on her lower back. She helped her straighten out and then placed a hand just under her diaphragm to help keep her lungs open to the much needed air. Only when she heard a small gasp from Clarke did she realized how very close she was to the girl. She cleared her throat and stepped back, "... Your lungs are more open that way so you can catch your second wind." _

_ Lexa was extremely glad the run had left her cheeks flushed or she was afraid Clarke may have noticed her cheeks turning even more red. _

_ Clarke herself looked a little flustered, but that was probably from the run as well. "Thanks, that does help." _

_ They walked back to the main campus of the training center and Lexa could feel the tension between the two. _

_ ‘Lexa you are not allowed to have a crush on your teammate. It will only complicate things that you cannot afford to let become complicated.’ _

_ Her inner voice of reason was plain as day in her head but part of her just really didn't care. _

_ She kept her thoughts to herself but as they reached the fork in the pathway that led back to their dorm Lexa turned the opposite direction towards the gym. Clarke reached out and grabbed her wrist and Lexa could feel that simple touch with every fiber of her being. _

_ "Lexa, where you going? The dorm is that way." _

_ "I always ice bath at the end of the day. Keeps my muscles from cramping," She said but didn't turn away or pull her wrist from Clarke's hand. _

_ "You take ice baths willingly? Everyday!?" _

_ "It is very therapeutic to sore muscles, Clarke." Lexa said. _

_ "I hate them so much though." Clarke said grudgingly but then to Lexa's surprise she started walking towards the gym with Lexa's wrist still in her hand. _

_ "If you hate them you don't have to come." Lexa caught up to her pace and Clarke's hand slipped from her wrist to her hand. Lexa knew she should pull her hand away but it felt good to feel the rough smoothness of Clarke's palm against hers. A gymnast’s hand for sure, the calluses were easy to feel but somehow Clarke's hand was still soft.  _

_ "I've told you Lexa, we are teammates now which means we should train together and that includes this insanity. So I'm in." She subtly squeezed Lexa's hand and smiled at her. _

_ "If you insist, Clarke." _

* * *

 

_ Lexa was incredibly distracted during her usual reflection time in her ice bath. The reason for her distraction was none other than a barely clothed cussing Clarke Griffin. _

_ "I swear to fucking God, Jackson, if you put one more bucket of fucking ice in this tub I will murder you in your sleep!" _

_ "Come now Clarke it isn't that...oookay, that is really cold!" Lexa was trying to keep a straight face as Jackson added the last bucket of ice to the already freezing water, but when the resulting splash managed to hit her neck she couldn't hold back the slight whine from escaping. _

_ "But Lexa this is therapeutic." Clarke said in a somewhat condescending tone. Her eyes were locked on the brunette and her arms were wrapped tightly around her body. _

_ "Mockery isn't the product of a strong mind, Clarke." Lexa said and tried to force her body to stop shivering. _

_ "I don't have a strong mind right now, because it is frozen!"  _

_ "I did say this was therapeutic, but that doesn't necessarily mean it is enjoyable." Lexa said and was really trying to zone Clarke out so she could focus on planning her workouts for the next few days but the blonde was almost impossible to ignore.  _

_ "I am of the belief that things that are therapeutic should be mutually exclusive with being enjoyable." Clarke grumbled but was finally starting to settle into the temperature and quieted down. Lexa started running her routines through her head and kept time with a subtle tap of her fingers on the side of the tub. _

_ After about five minutes of the only sound being the hum of the ice machine in the corner Clarke abruptly stood up. "Okay, that is it!" _

_ Lexa went to reach out for her but was struck by the sight before her. Clarke was clad in only a pair of very small spandex shorts and a sports bras, both of which were soaked through and dripping down her pale skin. Lexa would be lying if she said she didn't follow a few droplets from the bra down Clarke's stomach. She finally snapped out of it and found her voice again. "Clarke, you can't get out now or you are defeating the purpose." _

_ "Oh, I'm not getting out. I'm conserving body heat. Spread your legs." _

_ Lexa could have sworn her eyes popped straight out of her head and the freezing water surrounding her body made the heat flooding her cheeks even more painfully obvious. Clarke seemed to realize what she said and a blush of her own bloomed in her cheeks. "Not like that. Just move them so I can sit down." _

_ Lexa did as she asked and soon Clarke was nestled between her legs and Lexa was thoroughly freaking out. This was the opposite of how she should be around Clarke. They could be friends, they were teammates after all but she was having very non-friendship thoughts about the blonde at that moment.  _

_ Clarke made the situation even worse when grabbed Lexa's hands and moved them to her waist. Lexa was torn between pulling her hands away and just wrapping them around Clarke's waist. _

_ Instead she just left them where Clarke placed them but felt she had to say something, "Clarke this isn't going to work. My body is just as cold as yours." _

_ Clarke turns, eyeing her with a fierce glare, "Lexa, I know I may have agreed to this torture, but you are at least partially responsible for why I can't currently feel my toes. So, shut up and cuddle." _

_ She turned back around and settled more fully into Lexa's chest. Lexa decided to just enjoy whatever this was and fully wrapped her arms around Clarke's waist and turned her head to rest her head on the girl's shoulder. It felt so good to be this close to someone but Lexa knew she couldn't get used to it. Clarke was her teammate and nothing more. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come talk to me on tumblr (smttnpegasus.tumblr.com) I love talking to you guys about my story.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter Lexa is thrown back into Hell, or so she thinks. She also meets a few old faces and a few new.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one will be a little shorter than the first two but be glad to know this is one of the shortest chapters. Enjoy, you guys.

The officer that drove her opened her door in front of the building she knew was the gym. She looked up and stood from the car. She slung her bag up onto her shoulder and pulled the baseball cap low over her eyes.

Kane Gymnastics Academy, that was where she was now trapped at. She hadn’t so much as seen a piece of gymnastics equipment since she walked out of that gym. She retrieved her sea bag from the trunk of the car and waited for the court officer to drive away.

She pushed the door open and was surprised by the run down interior that she saw. Sure it wasn’t decrepit but the equipment was far from new. The lights were off and she was pretty sure the beam was covered in old leos.

“Well, this is homey.” She said to no one and dropped her sea bag. She walked deeper into the room and decided to explore if she was stuck here anyway.

As she was pacing the runway to the vault she caught sight of a new building through one of the windows. She hadn’t been here in years, so it made sense that there would be something new. She gripped the strap of her bag and traced the slightly fading lines there. She would have to go over them again soon or she would lose the pattern. She wouldn’t let that happen, she couldn’t. It was all she had left.

She looked into the window of the side door and immediately saw the familiar movement. The sight of legs swinging through the air and arms straining to hold on, she had found the right place.

She did her best to slip into the gym without drawing attention but the moment a girl caught sight of her bag the whispers started flying. She could feel every eye fall on her and she thought for a moment the weight would crush her. She took a deep breath and stood as straight as she could. If what happened at worlds didn’t break her neither would this.

She saw a few faces she recognized but she did her best to ignore them. Her attention was pulled to the man walking towards her with what she could only describe as a swagger. He had dark hair and eyes that seemed to be reading everything. This gym used to be one of the most elite with the best gymnasts around, but then they started putting out more injuries than champions. After that Kane seemed to pedal back his training methods and his athletes became overly cautious and their routines stale. Lexa was already miserable before but now she was stuck here.

She buried her hands in her pockets and turned away from the man that was basically her warden now. She scanned the faces of the girls practicing and most averted their eyes from hers but one didn’t waver in the slightest.

Anya Rivers, her dirty blonde hair and sharp cheek bones stared right back at her. They used to train together at Wallace’s gym, but had always been fierce rivals. Anya had been bitter after Lexa surpassed her as Wallace’s favorite and started winning competitions. If she didn’t hate Lexa before all of this happened, worlds sealed that deal.

“Lexa?” Her head turned to the man addressing her. He was chewing a piece of gum and the everything about him just set her on edge. She didn’t respond to him but just held his gaze and clenched her fists in the pockets of her hoodie.

“They said it would be hard to get through to you. Well, come on I’ll introduce you to the girls.” He said and swung his arm to motion her forward out into the open away from the shadows.

She walked out and any of the girls who hadn’t noticed her before looked over. Kane stood next to her and cleared his throat loudly. “Now girls Lexa Heda has graciously agreed to come out of retirement and train here with us. Now no snickering, being out of shape is not funny.”

He turned away from the room and focused in on Lexa. “Get changed and you can start by warming up on vault. Don’t worry if everything is a bit rusty.”

She shrugged and motioned to her sweat shirt and baggy jeans. “I burned all my leos. This will have to do.”

Kane shook his head but gestured for her to head over to the vault. She took in a deep breath and walked over to the line of girls waiting to warm up vault. She shrugged off the straps of her bag and pulled the hoodie over her head. She tucked it around her bag protectively and looked over the vault runway.

“So, Heda, did you get tired of being a ‘has-been’ so you decided to try humiliating yourself even more?”

Lexa did her best to hold her face in a mask of indifference as she turned to the girl. Anya hadn’t changed much but somehow she seemed cockier, which was quite the feat. “Hello, Anya, glad to know you are still a raging bitch.”

Anya bowed up to her and she held her gaze but tensed her shoulders for the probable fight to come. Anya was about to open her mouth to say something when a tanned hand grabbed her shoulder and turned her away.

“Hey, Kane wants you over on bars for now.” Anya turned to the girl and looked like she might argue but just threw her hands up and huffed away.

“Sorry about her she can be a bit of a…” the girl brushed some black hair that had fallen out of her ponytail out of her face.

“A bitch, I know.” Lexa said and tightened her pony tail that was sticking through the back of her cap.

“Oh, yeah, I forgot you guys used to train together. I never actually got the chance to meet you in person. Raven Reyes.” The girl, Raven, held out her hand and Lexa looked at it but just raised an eye brow. Raven eventually lifted her hand to rub at the back of her neck, “So, yeah, we are just warming up with tsukaharas.”

Lexa nodded and bent down to unlace her boots. She may not want to be here but that didn’t mean she was going to tear up the equipment these girls were using. She notice someone walk up to where she had sat down and cut her eyes up. She caught the usual slim build of a gymnast and long brunette hair. She recognized the face but couldn’t put a name with it. “Can I help you?”

“Do you not have a leo or spandex?” the girl asked and her eyes were searching Lexa’s face and the scrutiny was making the hairs on the back of her neck prickle.

She finished pulling her boot off and shrugged. She stood up and made her way to the end of the vault runway. This entire ordeal was just bringing up all the things she tried so desperately to forget. She started running and the smack of the mat under her feet only spurred her on. She wasn’t running fast enough for any type of vault but she didn’t intend to actually vault. She reached the spring board and used to it get up onto the vault. When she was on top she simply turned and let gravity pull her down into the foam crash pit. She closed her eyes and let herself sink. If she was lucky Kane would leave her here till the judge let her go home. “Lexa!”

And her hopes were dashed so quickly. She rolled in order to get to the edge on the pit where Kane was standing with his arms crossed. She didn’t particularly feel like getting lectured so she started talking before he could get a word in, “I’d have to say my landing was a little off. Rusty, right?”

Kane just nodded as he pressed his mouth into a tight line, “Need to pick up your run a little too. Quint!”

He yelled over his shoulder to a brutish looking man. He tapped his shoulder and then to the direction of the old gym. The man grunted and walked towards them, before Lexa knew what was happening he had her thrown over his shoulder and was carting her away. She tried to struggle out of his grip but the man was as strong as a gorilla. When they reached the first building Lexa was in Kane motioned to one on the crash pads and the man dumped her onto it without a second glance.

She pushed herself up onto her elbows and glared at Kane. “That was rude.”

“I don’t respect those who don’t respect me.” He said and cleared off a spot on the beam apparently wanting her to sit.

She decided to not move at all and just hold her glare, “So this is how you do things? Invading people’s personal space and throwing them around like rag dolls.”

Kane laughed humorlessly and chewed his gum in frustration, “People warned me. They warned me you were like this.”

Lexa stood and dusted of her jeans but his tone made her clinch her jaw, “Like what?”

She humored him by pulling herself onto the beam but had to fight a smile when it made her slightly taller so he had to look up in order to look her in the eye.

“Gymnastics has rules…laws, if you will. And you have to respect those laws or else you can get yourself or someone else hurt. Like the laws of gravity for example.” He grabbed her leg and flipped her over the beam so she landed on the mat hard.

She jumped to her feet and was ready to deck him but held herself back knowing an assault charge would land her in jail for sure.

“You can bow up to me all you want, Lexa, but it isn’t gonna change the judge’s decision. Might as well make the best of it. Tomorrow morning I want you in the gym ready to train. Oh and lose the hat.” He said and flicked the bill of her hat causing it to flip off her head and to get caught on her pony tail.

She grabbed it and pulled it back over her forehead. “You can lose the gum.”

He chuckled and continued out of the gym back to the other girls. She may be stuck here because of some all powerful judges decision but she was not training. She promised she would never train again.

“Hey, Kane said you were over here. We brought these to you.” She looked over and saw Raven with the other brunette who had come up to her. Raven was holding her bag while the other girl had her hoodie and boots.

She walked over and grabbed the clothes from the other girl first but just dumped them on her sea bag by the door.

“My name is Octavia by the way.” The name sparked something in Lexa’s memory but she couldn’t quite piece together what it was. She nodded and went to retrieve her bag from Raven.

“Dude, these designs are really sick. Did you do them yourself? Cause if so could you maybe do some on my bag cause it is really fucking bland right now.” She was holding it in front of her and tracing her fingers over the designs on the front.

Lexa snatched it away and slung it on her back with practiced ease. She immediately felt better with the usual weight against her spine. “First, I am not your ‘dude’. And second I did not draw these but my bag is none of your business.”

“Okay, don’t ask about the bag got it. Come on, O, we better get back.”

“Yeah, see you around Lexa.” Octavia said and turned away but not before giving her one more scrutinizing look.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come say hi on my tumblr (smttnpegasus.tumblr.com) I really do love hearing from you guys.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter Kane talks and Lexa is kind of an ass and people get really angry.  
> Also awkwardness leads to frustration which leads to more awkwardness.

Why on Earth was she actually up this early in the morning? She didn’t care to train but Kane hadn’t been wrong about the judge’s decision. If she caused too much trouble he could easily send her away and she didn’t think the judge would be as merciful a second time.

She was listening to music through her ear buds when she reached the gym. She was able to find a good pair of sweats and a tank top. Not the best workout clothes but hopefully it wouldn’t piss Kane off too much. She made her way to his office and saw he wasn’t there yet but she was early. She took her earbuds out and slouched on the floor by the door. After about fifteen minutes she noticed several women and men starting to gather in the combination waiting room and observation room overlooking the gym.

Kane appeared then and ushered on of the women into his office nodding to Lexa as he closed the door. Wonderful now she had to wait out here while he was in a meeting. Ugh, why was she up this early again? If he had meetings why not let her come by later in the day.

She could hear most of what Kane said through the door and she was having a hard time holding in her laughter. Kane had quite a way with words his favorite being “Olympics” and “gold”. Man, were these parents really buying the crap he was pushing on them. Lexa clenched her fists, this guy really would do and say anything to milk these people for everything they were worth. Just another person that would use her for his own purposes. Well, fuck that.

Lexa stood and made her way down to the gym. She did not want to be anywhere near that man even if it meant being surrounded by girls who hated her.

She pushed her ear buds hard into her ears and cranked the music as she laid in the middle of the floor platform. The sound of Lzzy Hale’s voice filled her ears and she let the familiar words pull her away until she felt the vibrations of girls coming out onto the floor. She looked up and could see the girls coming in from a group run. Anya had her leo pulled down on her hips covering the tops of her shorts. She was eyeing Lexa as she stood. She honestly should have seen this coming after yesterday.

She clenched her fists and pulled her ears buds out just in time to hear the first of Anya’s barbs.

“Just gonna lie around like the useless lump you are. You were always pathetic in work outs. How you even made the world team is beyond me?”

Lexa chuckled dryly, “I made the world team because I was the best. Even better than you and you just couldn’t stand that could you?”

Anya grabbed Lexa’s arm spat venomously, “At least I didn’t make it to worlds just to choke?”

Lexa felt the ice enter her eyes and she grabbed Anya’s wrist, “You do not know the first thing about worlds. And if you value your wrist take your hand off of me.”

Anya seemed to be taken aback but didn’t loosen her grip even though her eyes held slightly less venom as she eyed Lexa’s hand on hers.

Lexa squeezed as she leaned forward and hissed, “Now.”

Anya hissed in pain as she squeezed harder.

“Lexa! We do not use violence to solve problems. Not in my gym.” Kane yelled from where he was emerging onto the main floor of the gym. Lexa tensed but released the girl’s wrist and pushed it away.

Anya rubbed the now red joint and spat at Lexa, “Crazy bitch, you’re just jealous I at least have a career still.”

She shook her head. This was just getting ridiculous and she was thoroughly done. She looked at Kane who was watching her warily and just smirked before tackling Anya down to the floor.

Kane grabbed her by the shoulders trying to pull her off of the other girl but she just wanted one good punch. As she reared back someone caught her wrist and she turned to see Octavia looking down at her.

“It’s not worth it.”

Lexa took a deep breath and stood and shrugged Kane’s hands from her shoulders.

Kane huffed and backed away but made sure to be close enough to stop her if she decided to attack Anya again.

“I told you that we do not resort violence here.” Kane motioned for the girls to gather round and most of them had the same look on their faces. Something was coming and Lexa had the feeling she was going to hate it more than the rest of this whole messed up thing. “Another thing you should learn about this is that we are a family here. One united people, which means that if one person messes up we all pay for it. Girls, everyone out on the lawn.”

Thirty minutes later all of the girls were circling Kane as he rode a lawn tractor and told them how to run. Most were breathing heavily and covered in a thick layer of sweat.

“This is bull shit!” Anya yelled as she pushed to keep her knees up.

“Less talking more running, Anya. Come on girls keep those knees high and those toes pointed. We are gonna keep going till Lexa joins us.”

Lexa was sitting at the side on top of a picnic table. When he had marched them out here she had immediately refused to take place. Anya deserved what she gave her. Most of the girls were staring at her like they hoped she would keel over and she didn’t exactly blame them but that didn’t mean she was getting up any time soon.

She put her earsbuds back in and listen to the open cords of another Halestorm song and let her mind wander. She should know by now to never let that happen. Her mind always wandered to the same place.

* * *

 

_ Lexa was still breathing heavily when she reached the door to her and Clarke's room. She had pushed herself hard this morning and was excited to get into the gym and continue the day. She was running through what moves she was gonna focus on when she swung the door open and slammed right into a towel-clad Clarke. _

_ Clarke scrambled back and clung to the towel wrapped around her frame, while Lexa tried to look anywhere but at the mostly naked blonde. However she wasn't doing a very good job. Her eyes kept falling to her hair which was gathered up over one shoulder and dripped onto the edge of the towel and her eyes inevitably went from the end of Clarke's hair to the swells of her breasts. She would then blush and jump back to looking at the floor but that wasn't any better because that lead to Clarke's feet which lead to long tone legs until they disappeared into the towel. It was a vicious cycle. _

_ Lexa stammered, "I'm... I'm sorry." _

_ She caught sight of her gear bag on her bed and jumped for it. Once she had her bag in hand she looked at Clarke one more time but missed the small smirk on her face before turning and leaving without saying another word. _

_ Why couldn't she have finished her run faster? Then she could have avoided that awkwardness all together. She also now had to deal with the sight of Clarke barely covered in a short towel. As if she wasn't already having issues with pushing away this crush that was forming for the blonde. _

_ Lexa reached the gym in record time and rushed her usual routine to get on the floor as fast as possible. She needed something to keep her mind busy and away from certain inappropriate thoughts of a particular blonde. _

_ The more she tried to focus on her routine and nail down her tumbling passes the more frustrated she became. Her head just wasn't in it and she knew exactly why. Even the usually tranquil reflection during her ice bath was disturbed, because all she could think about was the blonde pressed to her chest and the faint smell of her pomegranate shampoo. _

_ It would have been an understatement to say Lexa was thoroughly frustrated by the time she made it back to her room. She shucked off her sweat soaked shirt and grabbed her towel. She prayed that the showers would be empty because she needed to release some of this tension or she might just implode or worse...act on these rampant thoughts in her head. _

_ After a thirty minute shower a much more relaxed Lexa entered her room to find it still empty. For a moment she wondered where Clarke was but then shrugged it off figuring out wasn't her place to keep track of the other girl. She was looking down at the clothes she had pulled from her bag and debated carrying them back to the restroom to change or just dropping her towel and getting dressed. She took one more look at the door and decided to just do the lazy thing and dress quickly before Clarke returned. She dropped the towel and was reaching for her clothes when she heard the unmistakable sound of the door creaking open. _

“ _ Oh shit, sorry! Sorry! Don’t worry I didn’t see anything!” Clarke said and after Lexa scrambled to grab her towel and wrap it tightly around her chest she turned her head and saw that Clarke was turned towards the door with her back to her. _

_ She grabbed her clothes and pushed past Clarke to get dressed in the bathroom. Why had she thought that getting dressed in the room was a good idea? Someone or something was plotting against her. _

_ She looked into the mirror in the bathroom after pulling on the shorts and muscle T over her sports bra. Her hair was still pretty wet and hung around her shoulders slightly wetting the shoulders of her t-shirt. She needed to braid it but she was exhausted after such a frustrating day and just wanted to call her mom and then go to bed. _

_ Lexa pushed the door open and Clarke was sitting on the floor doodling in her sketch book. Lexa could feel the heat rising in her cheeks. She did her best to ignore Clarke but her eyes were drawn to the long stretches of skin that Clarke’s shorts left uncovered. She flopped onto her bed and was about to pull out her phone to call her mom so she could just pass out and put an end to the ridiculous day. _

_ Clarke cleared her throat and looked up as Lexa lifted her head from the pillow. “Do you want to watch a movie or something?” _

_ Clarke’s smile was contagious and Lexa nodded, not able to say no to the blonde. She rolled so she was on her side facing her. _

“ _ Do you have any suggestions?” Clarke turnec so she was on her knees. She closed her sketch pad and placed her hands on the bed. _

“ _ Hmm…” she tapped her chin with her finger, “Do you have Netflix on your laptop?” _

_ Lexa smiled, “Clarke, I am a teenager in the 21st century. Of course I have Netflix.” _

“ _ Okay. Have you ever heard of a series called Bomb Girls?” Clarke had an ever widening smile on her face. _

“ _ Nope. Not ringing any bells.” _

_ Clarke fist pumped and jumped up onto the bed kneeling next to Lexa. “Oh, that is so what we are watching.” _

“ _ What if I don’t want watch Bomb Girls?” Lexa made fingers quotes around the name trying to rile Clarke up. _

“ _ Oh come one, it is about women working in a munitions factory during World War II. Trust me you want to watch this.” Clarke pushed her shoulder and Lexa laughed. _

“ _ Fine, I’ll give it a try. But I need to get my laptop before we can watch anything.” She pointed to behind Clarke where her laptop was sitting on one of the desks. _

_ Clarke scooted towards the foot of the bed and Lexa slipped by her and grabbed the laptop. She heard Clarke shuffle behind her and when she turned around the girl was sitting at the head of the bed leaning against Lexa’s pillow. She swallowed and sat down scooting closer until the laptop could rest on one side of both of their laps. Lexa logged on to her Netflix and searched Bomb Girls. Clarke practically squeaked when Lexa clicked on the first episode to let it buffer. _

“ _ Your mind is about to be blown.” _

“ _ We shall see, Clarke.” _

* * *

 

_ Three episodes later Lexa was leaning in and was having trouble holding back from yelling at Gladys for getting into more trouble. Clarke paused the episode mid-scene and Lexa turned to her with a wide mouth look of complete outrage. “Why did you stop it? I need to find out what Bettie is gonna do about Kate?” _

“ _ Oh but I thought you didn’t want to watch this Lexa.” Clarke had her arms crossed over her chest and was looking far too smug. _

_ Lexa lifted her computer and and placed it on the foot of the bed. She knew she should just go back to watching the show but she had to find a way to make Clarke stop looking so smug. _

“ _ Lexa, what are you doing?” Clarke asked as Lexa leaned towards her, the smugness falling instantly. _

“ _ Are you ticklish, Clarke?”Lexa asked as her hand crept closer to Clarke’s sides. _

“ _ No. Lexa, no! Look I only paused the show cause you need to call your mom before it gets too late.” At that Lexa paused and grabbed her phone from where it was sitting on the floor. She turned it over and didn’t have any notifications but it was getting pretty late. She decided to go ahead and call her mom. She stood but then turned around to Clarke, “Don’t you dare start that up again without me.” _

_ Clarke held up two fingers, “Scout’s honor.” _

“ _ Were you even ever a scout?” Lexa asked as she lifted the phone to her ear. _

_ Hers lips twitched up in an evil smirk, “Nope.” _

_ Lexa rolled her eyes and turned away as her mother’s voice came through the receiver. _

“ _ Hey, Sugar, why are you calling so late?” She heard something in the background under her mother’s voice but she couldn’t quite distinguish what it was. _

“ _ I always call, Mom. Sorry it is late tonight. I got a little caught up watching TV with Clarke.” She said and looked back at the blonde who was pulling the laptop back onto her lap. Lexa jump towards the bed and almost missed her mother’s response in the commotion. She tilted the phone away from her mouth, “Don’t you dare touch that space bar.” _

“ _ Sugar, I’m glad you and Clarke are getting along it could be so much harder if you didn’t get along with the girls on the team.” She heard her mouth shush somebody and she had a weird feeling cause it was too late for her mom to be out with friends and if it was her dad, her mom wouldn’t care if Lexa heard him. _

“ _ Mom, is there something going on?” _

“ _ Oh, no just a night out with the girls. You know I don’t get to see them very often and your father is working late. Now, Sugar I have to go but you’ll call me tomorrow night right?” _

“ _ Yeah, Mom, I’ll talk to you then.” The dial tone sounded and Lexa looked down at her phone. She felt a little odd about the conversation but then she looked up at Clarke and the smile she had as her finger hovered over the space to resume the episode seemed to erase all worries from her mind. _

“ _ Before we start it up again I have to know…who is your favorite?” _

“ _ If I had to pick I would have to say Bettie.” _

_ Clarke pressed play and then surprised Lexa by curling into her side though the position was much more comfortable than when they had just been sitting next to each other on the small bed. “I totally knew it.” _

“ _ Clarke Griffin, are you calling me predictable?” _

“ _ In this instance, completely and totally predictable.” She said but then quieted down as they settled back in to watch the show. _

_ After another episode Lexa noticed that Clarke had stopped commenting and when she looked down she could see the girl was clearly asleep. She closed the laptop and carefully set it on the floor. When she went to get up and just sleep in Clarke’s bed for the night the blonde grabbed her around the waist to keep her from leaving. Lexa sighed and wrapped an arm around the girl’s shoulder and closed her eyes. She was asleep in minutes and dreamt of sparkling blues eyes. _

* * *

 

Kane pushed the girls through another hour of torturous exercises before finally calling it quits when Lexa was very obviously not going to be persuaded by the looks from the girls and Kane egging her on. Afterward he pulled her inside and tried to talk about how important bonding with the girls was but she mainly tuned him out.

She had just reached the house most of the girls lived in near the gym but when she reached the door it was locked. She tried it several times but it wouldn’t budge. She was tempted to just pick the damn lock when a window opened above the door.

She looked up and called, “Hey can you open the door?”

The next thing she knew she was dodging her sea bag and the window was being slammed shut with a resounding ‘Fuck you!’

Lexa sat on the steps and just ran a hand threw her hair, “Well, what the fuck do I do now?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come say hi on my tumblr (smttnpegasus.tumblr.com). Thank you guys for all the kudos and comments i love every last one of them.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter Kane tries to be a good influence, Lexa isn't buying it but makes a decision anyway.  
> Also a dark quiet place is good for thinking and bonding.

She kicked her bag in frustration. She didn’t know what to do and now she really was running out of options. She fished deep into her gear bag and pulled out two things. The creased letter that had become soft after a year of repeated folding and unfolding. The scrawled letters had long since imprinted on her brain, she didn’t really read it anymore but looking at it helped her remember. Times had been good but good things never lasted, not for her. She glanced at the other object in her hand and seriously considered using it. All it would take was one phone call to Gus and she would be out of here but then she would also be a wanted fugitive.

She sighed and shoved the phone in her pocket. As much as she didn’t want to be here prison wouldn’t be much better. The letter sat on her leg and she ran a finger along one of the creases. The sound of a car made her jump and she grabbed the letter and slipped it in next to the phone.

A convertible Cadillac pulled up next to the house and Kane waved for her to come up to the side. Of course the man has a Cadillac, figures.

She stood and walked over to the door and looked down at the man who was looking from her to the pile of her things by the steps of the porch.

“Get in the car. We are going on a little drive.” He said and Lexa glanced back her things and then back to him. “Don’t worry I’ll have Raven grab your things so they aren’t sitting outside.”

Lexa nodded and opened the car door slipping into the seat.

* * *

 

Kane drove them both to a small diner several miles away from the gym complex. He found a booth and sat without saying a word. When the waitress came by she recognized Kane and asked if he wanted his usual. He nodded and when she turned to Lexa she didn’t know what to order and she was more interested in finding out why he drug her out here. She shook her head and then focused on her hands in her lap. The waitress brought a mug of coffee and a glass of water for her. A few minutes later she came back again with a large burger and french fries.

“Are you sure you wouldn’t like anything to eat?” Kane asked as he took the first bite of his burger.

“Positive.” She said and took a drink of her water. The longer he took to eat the more anxious Lexa became. Why did he bring her here? Were they here so the authorities could just come pick her up? Was this supposed to be her final meal as a free woman? Maybe she should have gotten something to eat.

When he finally finished eating the waitress came by one last time and took the plate and empty mug away.

“So, I’m betting you are wondering why I brought you here?”

“If you are gonna give me the gold medal speech, I’ve heard it and you need some work. Not very convincing.” Lexa said and leaned back. She maybe losing it inside but there was no way in Hell she was gonna let him know that.

“Well, since you know so much why don’t you tell me what I was gonna say. Give me the speech.” Kane lifted a brow challenging her.

Lexa took in a deep breath and decided humoring him would only get this over with faster. “Let me see…more natural talent than any gymnast you’ve ever seen. If you don’t pull yourself together you will flush it all away, and for what?”

Kane was about to speak up but she raised a hand, “No, Marcus, this sport is joke and you know it. People who are innovative are punished while those that play it safe get rewarded. Sorry to hate on your life’s work but I said I’m not training again and I meant it. I’ve had enough of being judged by people who know nothing about where I’ve been.”

“Lexa, I don’t claim to know what you have been through or who you are, but I do know that you can be better than this. Just come back to the gym and train for the classic in a few weeks. Win some restitution money and then you can go home or we can call the judge and find a different arrangement for you.” Kane stood up and put enough money to cover the meal on the table and turned to leave the diner without another word.

Lexa jumped up to follow and reached him in just after leaving the diner. He turned and leaned against the side of his car preventing her from opening the door. “So the gym is one mile down this road then take a right at the gas station and another two miles.”

“I know how to get back,” She tried to reach for the door but he swatted her arm away.

“I wasn’t kidding on my deal Lexa. You can come back to the gym and train to compete in the classic or we call the judge and you can go to jail.” Kane stood and walked around the car before climbing in and starting it up.

He was really gonna leave her here to walk back on her own. This man was insane. She stepped in front of the car when he tried to pull away. “Kane, I have nowhere else to go.”

“That cell phone in your pocket says differently. You have your options but I think there is one thing even you haven’t thought about in all of this,” He gestured to the air around him with his arms then he pointed to her, “No one cares what you do from here, but you should. Use the walk back to think on it.”

He revved the engine, backed up and away from the diner. She was alone and stuck three miles from anything even remotely familiar.

Was Kane right that no one cared? She felt the edge of the note when she put her hands in her pocket. Someone would care or used to. Just the thought of what _she_ would think of where she was now made her stomach turn. How had everything turned out so badly in the end?

* * *

 

_Lexa felt herself wake and couldn’t quite place why her bed was so warm or why she could just smell a hint of pomegranate. She opened her eyes and was immediately assaulted by a mane of blonde curls. Clarke’s back was tucked against her chest and she had an arm wrapped around her waist. The night before came back to her and she took in a deep breath. How did she keep getting herself into these situations? It was like she couldn’t keep herself away from her roommate._

_Clarke shifted under the arm that was slung across her waist and rolled over. Her eyes were still slightly foggy with sleep but she smiled wide._

“ _Morning.” She said and curled into Lexa resting her head on her shoulder._

“ _Someone is rather cuddly this morning,” She said but couldn’t help but pull the girl closer._

“ _You are really comfy and a surprisingly good cuddler.” Clarke said and sunk deeper into Lexa’s arms._

“ _What are you trying to say?” Lexa lifted her head to look at the girl._

“ _You don’t exactly scream cuddly, you know?” Clarke said and goosed Lexa’s side which caused her to squirm away but the blonde whined and pulled her back._

“ _Maybe I don’t want to be cuddly, ever think of that?” Lexa said returning the goose and laughed when Clarke immediately wiggled spastically._

_They settled back down and Lexa thought how she would probably be okay if she could just stay here for the day, but she knew she had to get up and run eventually._

_Clarke shifted so her head was angled so she could face Lexa. “Who’s Costia?”_

_Lexa tensed at the name but didn’t say anything. Clarke pushed herself up onto her elbows and could see the tension in Lexa’s face, “Sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you. You said it in your sleep. I was curious. You don't have to tell me if you don't want to.”_

_Lexa looked up at her and took a deep breath, “No, it’s okay. She was my girlfriend back when I went to a public high school.”_

“ _You went to a public high school. I was always home schooled.” Clarke said and settled back onto Lexa’s shoulder figuring it would be easier to tell this story if she wasn’t looking at her._

“ _My father’s ill fated attempt at making sure I was able to socialize with people outside of the gymnastics world. I went there for two years. I met Costia the first day and it was just history from there. We were happy and I loved her, but things changed when Wallace decided to fast track me to becoming elite. I didn’t have time for school so I got my GED and became full time in the gym. Costia just didn’t get it. She always saw my gymnastics as something like high school football. If you were good enough it got you into college but if not you moved on and it just became part of the memories of the glory days. She didn’t understand how far I could go with this and in the end she made me chose one or the other. I made my choice though it broke my heart to do it.” Lexa tightened her arms around Clarke still feeling the dull ache in her chest though it was much less painful than it used to be._

“ _Well, it was her loss. And look at you now only a few weeks from competing on the world stage.” Clarke said and propped herself up on her elbows. She could see the pain still in Lexa’s eyes. “I can understand though. I had an ex, Finn, that went to public school. He played football and it was the most important thing to him, aside from me of course, according to him. I was the good girlfriend and went to all of his games and cheered him on. He honestly wasn't that good. He never came to my meets though, he said he had no interest in seeing me do cartwheels in a glorified glittery swimsuit.”_

_Lexa lifted her hand and Clarke paused her story. “Are you serious? Cartwheels? Had he ever seen an actual gymnastic meet?”_

“ _Obviously not. But when I started winning meets and getting the purse it really rubbed him the wrong way because here he was doing his best to play ball and not one college was scouting him and I was getting paid to…and I quote, ‘Dance in glitter and spandex.’” Clarke did exaggerated finger quotes that made Lexa giggle. “We started fighting more and more and then he said something that really showed me what he cared about. We were arguing and after I told him not everything revolved about him, he said that he just didn’t understand how he was this epic ball player and got no reward but I was getting paid to basically be a bad stripper.”_

“ _Please tell me you punched him at the very least.”Lexa said._

_Clarke looked down and Lexa smiled at the blush that bloomed on her cheeks. She looked back up with the brightest smile, “I almost broke his nose.”_

_Lexa pulled her in and hugged her and Clarke curled into happily, “Atta girl.”_

“ _He wasn’t even my worst ex. The worst was actually another gymnast.”_

_Lexa turned towards her, “Who? I don’t know many of the male gymnasts but I might recognize the name.”_

“ _I don’t remember saying it was a male gymnast…” Clarke left the statement opened ended and Lexa felt her heart pound in her chest. Was Clarke saying what she thought she was saying?_

“ _I’m sorry I just assumed that you were…” Lexa started but tapered off not wanting to offend Clarke._

“ _What? Straight? Well I guess that just goes to show you that you shouldn’t assume. Assumptions always make an ass out of you and ‘mptions.” Clarke said and sat up to stretch her neck._

“ _Where on Earth did you hear that?” Lexa asked as she sat up pulling her knees to her chest, already missing the feeling of Clarke pressed to her side._

_Clarke looked away and her lips pulled up in a slow but content smile, “It’s something my Dad always said. Guess I picked it up.”_

* * *

 

_Hours later Lexa was laying on the tramp in the darkened gym listening to her music as it pumped loudly in her ears when the movement of the tramp made her jump. Clarke was climbing up and laid down next to her. Lexa looked over as she pulled her earbuds out. “How did you know I was here?”_

“ _You are usually back in the room by now, this was the only other place I could think of. Also the security guard said you were in here.” She said and tucked her hands into the pocket of her hoodie. She didn’t try and make conversation but was just content laying next to her in the dark._

_Lexa pulled her phone from her pocket and looked down at the screen. It was getting late and she knew she needed the rest because tomorrow was going to be a long hard day but she didn’t want to go back to her room and have to call her mother._

“ _Soo…This is pretty fun. The dark empty gym aesthetic really works the relaxation factor.” Clarke says and Lexa lets a short laugh escape._

“ _I always find a place to hide when something goes wrong. My dad used to find me tucked into cabinets and closets when I was younger.”_

_Clarke reached over and grabbed her hand, “What’s wrong then?”_

_Lexa squeezed her hand and took a deep breath trying to keep her voice as level as possible. “My dad called earlier to tell me he was visiting next week, then I heard my mom yelling at him and they started fighting, which isn't anything new, but this seemed bad. I couldn't tell what it was about cause my dad hung up but it was worse than usual.”_

_Clarke let a short pause take place but kept her hand firmly in hers. “I think if they could my mom and dad would still fight, even now. Parents fight, but they’ll work it out. Mine always did.”_

_Lexa tilted her head at the strange lilt in Clarke’s voice. Her eyes were focused on the ceiling but she had a soft smile. The same one she had this morning. Something about it seemed off to Lexa, then it hit her. Clarke always referred to her father in the past tense. That meant one of two things._

“ _When did he…” She didn’t know how to ask about her suspicion but Clarke seemed to pick up on it quickly._

“ _It’s been three years. It was a car accident, drunk driver swerved into his lane and he couldn’t make it out of the way. I made my peace with it a long time ago but my mom never did. It was easier for me to focus on gymnastics while she threw herself into work. We hardly see each other anymore, even when I’m not training.” Clarke’s voice levels out and Lexa can tell this isn’t an easy topic for her._

“ _Is that why you were curious about if I ever thought of what I wanted to do after gymnastics?” Lexa asked rolling on her side but keeping her hand in Clarke’s._

“ _You’ve seen right through me, Lexa Heda.” Clarke said and smiled, “I think about it a lot. More than I probably should, but when it comes right down to it…it has been everything for me since he died. I don't want to be lost once I retire.”_

_Lexa shifted her hand and interlaced their fingers. “That would never happen. Whatever you decide to do you’ll find your place and excel.”_

“ _And how do you know that?”_

“ _You forget I’ve seen years of your routines. You are a perfectionist and anyone who puts that much sheer will power into being perfect in a sport where it is nearly impossible. That is someone that will never be stopped by anything.” Lexa says and her voice softens as she looks down at Clarke’s face as she smiles when she hears her words._

“ _What about you? You are so powerful and fearless when it comes to your tricks. You pull some of the hardest tricks out there and you make it seem easy and like it doesn’t phase you at all. Anyone with an attitude like that will be able to handle anything life can throw at them.” Clarke said her smile growing._

“ _But that may only apply in gymnastics, I have no idea if I can even do anything outside of this.”_

“ _If I have to trust your opinion, then you should trust mine.”_

_Lexa squeezed Clarke’s hand, “I do trust you, Clarke.”_

“ _Good,” Clarke reached over and goosed her side and Lexa squirmed away. Clarke’s lips pulled up into a mischievous smirk. “Oh, is the stoic fearless Lexa Heda ticklish?”_

“ _Clarke, no! No!” Lexa said and tried desperately to keep Clarke’s wiggling fingers away from her sides. She decided to fight fire with fire and tickled Clarke right back. In a few moments they were both cackling and trying to get away from the other._

_At one point Clarke was trying to pin her down and Lexa shifted trying to switch their positions. The movement forced the two girls to roll off of the tramp and onto the crash pad._

_Clarke curled in on herself as Lexa recovered from the fall and immediately panicked._

“ _Clarke, are you okay? What hurts?” She tried to gently turn the girl to examine what could possibly be injured._

_She noticed that Clarke was subtly shaking. After a moment she took in a deep breath and started laughing out loud. Lexa held herself up on her hands and could clearly see that Clarke was not injured._

“ _You jerk. I thought you were hurt.” Lexa said and Clarke stopped laughing and looked up at her. Lexa then realized how close they were. She was straddling Clarke with her hands on either side of her head. She looked down into crystal blue eyes and was so tempted to just lean down and kiss the blonde. As Clarke’s eyes widened and flicked down to Lexa’s lips she seemed to snap back to herself and rolled off of the girl._

_She stood and offered her hand. Clarke shook her head and let Lexa pull her to her feet. The walk back to their room was silent and awkward but neither knew how to break the tension._

_Once they had both changed and climbed into bed Lexa laid staring up at the underside of Clarke’s bed. She tried to stay as still as possible so Clarke would assume she was asleep. Once she heard the other girl’s breathing even out she let out a sigh of exasperation. She couldn’t deny it to herself anymore. She was falling, and as much as she knew she couldn’t afford these feelings part of her just didn’t care._

* * *

 

Lexa was on her way back to the gym because either way it was the only place she had at the moment. She was reading through the letter again and her mind drifted back to a happier time.

Maybe less had changed than Lexa thought, here she was hiding away from everything she was familiar with; gymnastics…her parents…everything. The difference was now no one was coming looking for her like they did in her childhood. It was time for her to find herself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come say hi on tumblr (smttnpegasus.tumblr.com). I love seeing how much you guys like this story. What do you think of everything? Let me know.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter Lexa tries to get a hot bod again and sees some welcome faces.  
> Also some risks are just worth taking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys enjoy this chapter. After last night this should help a little. Let me know what you think!

After making her decision the night before she had run the remainder of the distance to the gym. Lexa could feel the burn of her late night run in her quads as she caught up to Kane who was trailing behind the girls that were doing a large group run.

“Kane! I’m going to compete in the classic, but I will not let them see me struggle.” She said pointing to the girls that were running ahead on the trail.

Kane nodded and took a long pull from his coffee mug, “You can practice in the old gym. Now, get going. You’re in training.”

He swatted her with the newspaper he was reading and she turned to him thinking he might actually be insane. “Go.”

“But I said…”

“Just run Lexa.”

* * *

 

It took a little bit but Lexa was able to clear off the equipment in the old gym. She spent most of the first day just staring at them. She didn’t even know where to start. She had a few options. She could entertain herself by running full force at a stationary object, always a valid option. She could spend time ripping pieces of skin the size of quarters off her palms, bars had always been a favorite. She could also spend hours perfecting a choreographed routine just to be half ignored by judges that didn’t care about her at all. Floor use to be her specialty but that just seemed bittersweet now. Falling was another thing that she spent most of the days doing. She fell on her ass, on her back, on her face, and of course on her pride. Luckily Lexa didn’t like falling…she loved it.

The next week went by in a flash but also incredibly slowly. Her feet were constantly in pain from blisters and every muscle in her body ached. Every night she drug pounds of ice to the boarding house and dumped it into one of the bathtubs. She would try and spend those agonizingly cold minutes thinking of what she was going to do when she was able to get out of this place, but her mind would wander most days. Kane would come to check on her periodically but mainly left her to her own devices.

She was busy filling in the fading designs on her gear bag’s straps when the doors to the old gym swung open and she was met by the faces of Octavia and Raven.

They both had leos pulled down low on their hips and a sheen of sweat covering their bodies. They both appeared to have just finished a work out and seemed surprised to see Lexa sitting in the middle of the floor platform with a sharpie and a concentrated face.

“Yo, Lexa, what are you doing over here all by yourself? You should come over to the big gym sometime, it would be a lot less lonely.”

“Ever think that I prefer to be alone.” Lexa said and switched to the second strap. She really hoped they wouldn’t hang around too long she couldn’t afford to mess up these straps. It was all she had left after all.

“So, you did decorate your bag yourself, I knew it.” Raven said plopping down next to her and looking intently at the bag. Octavia sat down and crossed her legs and looked too. She seemed surprised and almost reached for the bag but when Lexa narrowed her eyes she relaxed back. Lexa didn’t notice how her eyes continued to jump from the front of the bag to Lexa’s face.

“I told you, I didn’t draw it I’m just filling it in cause it was fading.”

“Then can you at least tell me who did. I have an idea for a tattoo and that design style is perfect for it.” Raven said and Lexa couldn’t help but admire her determination.

“Sorry to tell you, but the…artist and I didn’t part on good terms. Couldn’t help if I wanted to.” Lexa said and took a deep breath but continued filling in the thick lines one stroke at a time.

“Damn, really? That sucks. Hey, O, do you know anyone who can draw a decent tattoo?”

Octavia seemed surprised to be brought into this but then took a minute to respond, “Yeah, sorry but you are out of luck. I’ve got nothing.”

Lexa looked between the two and couldn’t believe what she was about to do. She rolled her sleeve up to reveal the tribal tattoo Gustus had given her over a year ago. He had based the design off of her gear bag so maybe Raven would be interested. “A friend of mine did this so he maybe be able to hook you up.”

“That is sick! Can you give me his number or something?” Raven said scooting closer and reached towards her arm. Lexa tensed but then nodded that she could touch the tattoo cuff.

“Heda!” A door slammed open on the other side of the gym. Lexa jumped up and looked up to see Kane marching into room. “Are these yours?”

She looked and trailing behind him were none other than Gustus and Lincoln. Lincoln looked like a kicked puppy up until the moment he saw her.

“Lexa!” He ran across the room and picked her up and spun her around. She couldn’t help the laugh that escaped. She hadn’t realized how much she missed her friends. Gustus walked over calmly but surprised her by joining in the group hug for a moment.

“Linc…put me down.” She said but the smile was undeniable in her voice.

“We never thought we would see you again. Gus had all but given up hope, but I knew we would track you down.” Lincoln was being far too animated but Lexa couldn’t stop smiling and see could even see a smirk on Gustus’ mouth. They had missed her too. She was someone worth missing. The realization hit her like a ton of bricks and she felt this was the next step in finding herself.

“Reyes, Blake, get back to the gym.” Kane said and both the girls jumped from where they had been silently observing the whole reunion. They backed away before turning to leave.

“The judge didn’t say anything about personal visits, Heda.” He said and she really wanted him to just go away so she could enjoy a few minutes without worrying about this whole situation.

“I didn’t know they were coming Kane, but come on they aren’t gonna do anything. Can’t we just catch up for a few minutes.” She said and stood as tall as possible. She wasn’t too scared of Kane calling the judge but she was sure he could and that would just make things worse.

“They have to go. They were scaring the moms in the other gym.” Kane said and started to usher them out and Lexa pushed passed him just long enough to hug Lincoln one more time and grasped Gustus’ forearm. No words were exchanged but she made the decision then and there that she was going to keep in touch. These were two people that cared. Kane wasn’t right, Gustus and Lincoln cared what she did and were a reason for her to care.

After the short visit from her friends she was able to focus better on actually putting together routines for the classic and she noticed her body starting to finally adjust to training again. Before long she was over taking the girls in the morning run, the only part of training they did together.

She was feeling more like herself than she had in two years. The feeling scared her for some reason. The last time she felt like this it had been while she was training for worlds. She had been scared then too, but for an entirely different reason.

* * *

 

_ Lexa rolled over from her nap to find Clarke sitting with her back to the bed sketching in a notebook she had seen her using multiple times during their time at the training center. It was a light day and after her morning run Lexa was tired from a long week of training and also having trouble sleeping so she collapsed into her bed after her shower and fell asleep within moments. _

_ She turned onto her side and looked over Clarke’s shoulder at her sketch and was amazed by what she saw. It looked like Clarke was doodling but the intricacies were fascinating and she had penciled in her name and the lettering was really cool. _

_ Clarke noticed she had woken up and held the book up so she could see it clearer, “What do you think?” _

_ Lexa smiled and really took in the page and the words were out of her mouth before she knew it, “Can you draw me something?” _

_ Clarke seemed surprised but she pulled the notebook back down and flipped the page so she had a fresh canvas to work on. “What do you want me to draw?” _

“ _ Actually if you can…” Lexa scooted off her bed and grabbed her gear bag where it sat by the door. It was bright yellow and her dad always joked about how she only bought it so she could never lose it. This had been her go to gear bag for years and she thought it was about time for a face lift, “…draw it on here?” _

_ Clarke took the bag in hand and smoothed it out on her lap. “I’d have to take everything out but I could probably do something. What were you thinking?” _

_ Lexa picked up the sketch book and flipped back to the page of doodles. “I really like these letters here and this dripping war paint on this girl, it’s just really cool. Who is this? She looks familiar.” _

“ _ Oh that’s my friend Octavia. Her’s is the only face I remember off-handed when I don’t have a model. She is a gymnast too.” Clarke looked at the different doodles Lexa was pointing at and then turned back to the back pack, “But yeah…I think I can come up with something.” _

“ _ You’re the artist. Do what you think is best. I trust you.” Lexa said and she smiled at the slight blush that dusted Clarke’s cheeks. _

“ _ Okay then.” She stood up with the bag and went over to the desk across the room, “But you can’t see it until I’m done, okay?” _

“ _ Okay, I promise no peeking.” Lexa said and grabbed a book from the floor and laid back on her bed to read. _

_ Not peeking turned out to be a lot harder than Lexa had thought it would be. She found her eyes constantly flicking from her book to Clarke’s back where she was hunched over the bag drawing away. She fell asleep with that vision imprinted in her mind. _

* * *

 

_ When Lexa woke up Clarke’s arm was hanging from the top bunk and she was breathing deep clearly completely passed out. Lexa couldn't help it when her eyes drifted to the desk and she took a few hesitant steps towards it. It was covered in an extra bed sheet that Clarke had gotten from somewhere with a note tacked to it: _

**Lexa -**

**No peeking! It isn’t done yet!!**

**\- C**

_ It took more control than Lexa thought she had to not at least peek under the sheet. She grabbed her iPod and firmly placed the earbuds in and tried to lose herself in the music as she pushed through her run, but her mind was still stuck on the bed sheet covering her gear bag. She pushed the door open hoping not to wake Clarke if she was still asleep but she found the room empty. Her eyes immediately went to the desk but it was empty. _

_ She turned to look and saw her gear bag sitting on her bed with another note tacked to it. She picked up the note and read it before looking at the bag: _

**Lexa-**

**Finished this while you were on your run but had to leave for my time in the gym. Hope you like it. See you later.**

**XO - C**

_ She carefully folded the note and placed it on the bed next to her bag. She picked it up and was amazed by what Clarke had done. There was an intricate capital “L” across the front of the bag and above it was the outline of war paint and Lexa laughed when she saw the carefully lined word “Commander” over the letter. She had earned her nickname among the gymnastics community because of her attitude at meets, but Clarke had never given her any idea she even knew about it. The straps were covered in a tribal looking pattern and the intricacy of it was amazing. She had always loved her bag but now it was something more. If she ever thought about getting a new one before she was definitely never getting rid of it now. _

* * *

 

_ Lexa could see her father sitting on the bench overlooking the training center. It was a beautiful view and she loved to sit here though recently she had been spending more and more time in her room for some reason. _

_ He stood up when she approached and wrapped her up in his arms. She dropped her bag by the side of the bench and they sat down to talk. She may call her mom every night but she didn’t have much time to talk to her dad these days. _

“ _ You look good, Lexa, how is training going?” He asks. _

“ _ It’s going really well. My routines are coming along and should be really polished by the time Worlds gets here.” She said and smiled as her dad looked at her. She noticed the dark circles under his eyes and the nagging feeling in her gut came back. _

“ _ Hey, Dad, is everything okay with you and Mom? I heard the fight the other day. It seemed bad.” She said and really hoped he would be honest with her. _

_ He rubbed his eyes and sighed and she felt her gut twist. How bad was it? She held her breath waiting for him to answer. _

“ _ We have been fighting a lot more, but it’s just what we do. We’ll find a way to work things out, we always do.” He said and though he smiled Lexa could tell that he wasn’t being entirely truthful. She caught movement out of the corner of her eye and smiled when she caught sight of a curly blonde ponytail. Clarke was running on a trail a ways away from the bench so she didn’t see them and continued running around the bend out of sight. _

“ _ So that’s Clarke, huh?” Her father said and when she looked back to him he was smirking at her. She felt the blush that was painting her cheeks. _

_ She cleared her throat, “Uh, yeah. That was her.” _

“ _ Lexa, I know I have been really busy with work but can I give you some advice, as your father and someone who really cares about you?” He said placing a hand on her shoulder and she wasn’t sure where this was going. _

_ Her dad cleared his throat and seemed to be having trouble starting this conversation. He saw her bag leaning against her leg and his eyes widened. “What happened to Ole Rusty?” _

“ _ Please don’t call my bag that, Dad!” She said and grabbed it pulling it into her chest. _

_ He laughed heartily and then tugged on the bag so he could see it and its new additions. “Wow this is really cool. Now who do you trust enough to touch Ole Rusty?” _

“ _ Dad! It really isn’t that big of a deal. I saw Clarke’s drawings and thought they looked cool. I asked her to decorate my bag. Figured you rag on it enough and now it looks better than ever.” _

_ Her dad’s face became serious again and he took her hand, “Look, Lexi, I know you are achieving your dreams right now with Worlds and everything but somethings are more important than gymnastics. Love can hurt you like nothing else, but it can also bring you to life more than anything. Remember that for me, Kiddo?” _

_ Lexa shook her head not really understanding why her dad was getting so sentimental but she agreed, “Yeah, Dad, I’ll keep that in mind.” _

* * *

 

_ Lexa took her time getting back to her room after spending a little more time with her dad. Her fingers were absently tracing the tribal line work on the strap hanging on her shoulder. She pushed the door open and was welcomed by the sight of Clarke sitting on her bed. The girl’s hair was pulled into a ponytail over one shoulder and it was clearly still wet from a shower. Her eyes jumped up from her sketch pad and she smiled though it wasn’t as bright as her usual smiles. _

“ _ Lexa! You were out a lot longer than usual today. Did you like the bag?” Clarke’s tone was slightly worried and she could see the concern that she hadn’t liked the bag. _

“ _ It’s really great Clarke, I love it.” She said, sitting it down on the floor next to the door where she always put it. _

_ Clarke let out a breath that Lexa hadn’t realized she was holding, “Oh thank God, I was so worried that you weren’t gonna like it cause I did the straps too and…” _

_ Lexa tuned out what else Clarke was rambling about and her eyes dipped down to her lips. The conversation with her dad came back to her mind and all of the restraint she had seemed to just disappear as she looked at the nervously rambling blonde. ‘Fuck it.’ She thought. _

_ Lexa closed the distance between herself and the blonde and put a slightly shaky hand on her neck and with one last glance into those sparkling blue eyes she leaned in and finally found out what it felt like to feel those lips on hers. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooooooo....that happened!   
> Hope this helped with the ache a little bit. I love every single one of your comments and every single kudo. Stay strong, Clexakru. Lexa will live on with us and our stories.   
> Come talk to to me on tumblr (smttnpegasus.tumblr.com), we can talk about this story, or any of my other stories, or just anything. Love hearing from you guys.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter Lexa and Kane butt heads and the girls start asking the big questions.  
> Also having something you can hold close can make everything else seem small.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright here you go guys. I know it ended on kind of a mean but also nice cliff hanger last time but here i am posting this actually on time. This has been a pretty stressful few days but posting helps me keep some normalcy. I'm am posting this from a hospital (Don't worry I'm fine, my grandma is in surgery though) so if there are any glitches or anything I apologize and will fix it as soon as my internet is a little more reliable. (Also for all of those Familyverse fans out there, I have a missive 10k update coming it just needs to be beta'd first)

She wasn’t going to rest until she got this right. She had been trying to iron out this tumbling pass for three days but, she always over rotated and ended up on her ass. She pushed herself up on her knees and then bounced to her feet. She felt the knots already forming in her back. She would need an ice bath for sure tonight. She walked back to the corner and lined up the run again.

Just as she started her run Kane came through the door and watched as she flipped through the air and then overshot and landed on her ass yet again.

“You’re popping your clutch.” He said as he leaned against the beam. She could see him working his jaw, but knew it was a habit from his incessant gum chewing. She was surprised that after that first day she hadn’t seen him chew a single piece.

“Oh, really Kane?” She said as she stood back up and groaned as she stretched.

Kane pushed away from the beam and stood right in front of her, “You need to learn control or you will get yourself hurt.”

She balked. She knew what she was doing and this man wasn’t gonna tell her differently. She was just a little out of practice was all. “You are in my way.”

He grabbed her shoulder and his eyes were serious, “You need to learn to take advice. I’m just trying to help you, Lexa.”

She roughly shrugged out of his grip, “I don’t need you help. I’m just here to win the classic and get out of this hell so I can move on with my life.”

Kane locked eyes with her and when she didn’t falter at all he just sighed and turned his back on her. He reached for the door but turned and spoke over his shoulder at her, “Come to me when you are ready to control your tricks.”

Lexa scoffed and made her way back over to the corner to continue working on her tumbling pass.

* * *

 

_ She was walking through the aisles of what looked like a pharmacy. It didn’t make much sense, but she was wearing her thick jacket, which made her feel warm and she wasn’t sore for once so she was happy to wander and explore the shelves. She found a stack of hand baskets and grabbed one cause that is what you did, right? _

_ She saw a tall shelf of prescription bottles that seemed really interesting. _

_ She reached out and grabbed a bottle looking at the label with interest. Wait? This bottle says Tchousivitina, but that is a gymnastics move. Why was it in a bottle? She turned it and looked at the warning label on the side: _

**MAY CAUSE BROKEN NECK**

_ Well it technically wasn’t lying, but this was a staple she used this particular move all the time. The risk was worth it, right? She checked more and all the labels read things like: _

**MAY CAUSE BROKEN BACK**

**DO NOT ATTEMPT THIS MOVE OR YOU WILL DIE A LONELY HAS-BEEN**

_ What did that mean? She needed these moves though, she would never win the classic without them. Screw the warnings! She swept shelf after shelf into her basket and ran to the counter. She needed these moves to win the classic so she could pay the judge or she would be stuck here forever. _

“ _ How much are these?” she demanded from the man behind the counter. _

_ The man looked utterly unimpressed and held up a sign that read: 0.00 _

_ She looked closer and his name tag said, “Hey, y’all” in happy decorative letters but the name just said “Head Judge”. _

_ As she stared in confusion a blaring siren started ringing through the pharmacy. She jumped and ran for the door, an alarm like that could be nothing good. _

* * *

 

Lexa groaned as her head lulled off the edge of the couch. She had passed out after her workout earlier. That had been one strange dream. Maybe Kane’s words had stuck with her more than she thought. If she killed herself training for the classic what was the point of winning the restitution money. She had raw power but as much as she hated to admit it, she needed Kane’s help.

She pushed herself up from the couch and peeled off her shirt. It had been soaked through with sweat before, but now it was stuck to her and smelled horrendous. It took thirty minutes to lug enough ice into the lodging house so she could have her ice bath which her aching legs and back told her she desperately needed.

She dipped down into the frigid water and bit her lip to keep from flooding the bathroom with curses. God, getting in these things was always the worst part. She almost smiled when she thought of how Clarke would say the whole thing was the worst part. That thought sent a stabbing pain through her heart. She forced her entire body into the water hoping to freeze out and numb the pain.

* * *

 

The TV was playing the coverage of a gymnastics competition on the other side of the country. Octavia was sitting at the end and Raven was upside down with her head in Octavia’s lap and her feet kicked up over the top of the couch. Anya was slumped on the other side. O had been looking for Lexa but when she saw her heading to the bathroom with a duffle full of ice she knew it probably wasn’t a good time to go talk to her.

The competition had phased into the talk show following it and apparently the rumor that  _ the _ Lexa Heda was back and training to compete was the main topic of conversation.

The show commentators were discussing the results until one asked, “So, now to discuss what is on everyone’s mind: Lexa Heda.”

“Yes, if sources can be trusted she is currently at VGA training for the classic here in a few weeks. What do you think about this development Jack?” The female commented and turned to her counterpart.

“Well, I’m thinking it probably isn’t true, Audrey. We can all remember at the last Worlds competition everything was lined up with only Lexa Heda left to go on floor to secure the championship for the US team. Then she shocked everyone by walking out of the arena and knocking the US completely out of medal contention.”

The TV cut to video of the US team in multiple different states of shock and dismay. The worst of which was a blonde at the end of the row who had tears streaming down her face and a look of pure pain in her eyes. The camera zoomed in as she sat heavily in a chair and collapsed into herself.

“And of course no one can forget the tears from Clarke Griffin, as she found out her chance at World Gold was completely gone.”

Raven looked up at O who had a very serious look as she tried to stare a hole through the TV. “Why do you think she walked out?”

Octavia seemed to snap out of a trance and looked down at her, “I don’t have a clue. Probably just choked under the pressure.”

“I don’t care why she did it. She is a traitor to anyone who has ever wanted to be on the world stage. Her being here is a joke.” Anya huffed and stood closing herself off in the bedroom.

“She had to have a good reason don’t you think?” Raven asked looking at the door. And O smiled, Raven had a habit of believing the underdog in most situations. Lexa couldn’t be more of an underdog if she tried at the moment.

“I’m sure she did, Raven. I’m sure she did.”

* * *

 

Lexa could hear the sound of the TV and the girls through the thin walls and could just make out what was being said. What she heard made her clench her fists till she thought her nails might tear through her palms. Anya wasn’t wrong, she was a traitor, and it had ripped her heart out to do it. Hearing the announcer talk about Clarke crying caused more pain. She tried to hold onto the last time she saw her smile. It had been so large and free.

She groaned as she lifted herself out of the ice bath and felt her body immediately revolt against the warm air. Goosebumps erupted over her entire body and her muscles started shivering like crazy at the shock of the sudden change in temperature. She wrapped a towel around herself and then slid down to sit by the tub. She was so exhausted from the past days she just wanted the world to stop for few minutes. She knew she was going to have an unpleasant conversation with Kane tomorrow about controlling her tricks, but tonight she was just going to indulge in her memories. The pain would be worth it tomorrow. The last time she was this scared about making a decision it hadn’t turned out too bad.

* * *

 

_ Clarke froze but when Lexa moved to pull back afraid she had misread the signals she leaned forward to recapture Lexa’s lips. This couldn’t really be happening. Lexa smiled into the kiss and pulled the girl into her further. _

_ Clarke sucked on her bottom lip and Lexa tilted her head and lifted her other hand to grip Clarke’s waist. She felt Clarke’s hands getting lost in her hair. Lexa slipped her hand under the hem of Clarke’s tank top and traced patterns on the smooth skin of her lower back. _

_ Clarke pulled back and giggled, “Sorry, ticklish, remember?” _

_ She rested her forehead against Lexa’s and her smile was unbelievably bright. Lexa felt like she should maybe say something but she was too busy imprinting this moment on her memory. Her hand at the back of Clarke’s neck started playing with the end of her pony tail. _

“ _ You know if you liked the bag a ‘Thank you’ would have sufficed, not that I’m complaining.” Clarke said and Lexa sighed when she started to subtly massage her scalp. _

“ _ Shut up, Clarke.” Lexa leaned in again to make sure the blonde couldn’t say anything else. The kiss was slow and sweet but when Clarke teased her lips with the tip of her tongue Lexa groaned and opened her mouth happily. She was so overwhelmed with everything that was Clarke. Her hair smelled strongly of pomegranate and she tasted minty having probably brushed her teeth in preparation for bed. She pulled back when she became light headed and needed to breathe but she couldn't bring herself to pull too far away from Clarke. _

“ _ I have wanted to do that since I found out we were rooming together,” Clarke said and continued to play with Lexa’s hair while one hand gently cupped her cheek. _

_ Lexa leaned into the touch and locked her eyes with Clarke’s, “Really? That long?” _

“ _ Longer,” Clarke said and that made Lexa pull back to look at her more clearly. _

“ _ What do you mean?” Clarke grabbed Lexa’s hand and walked them over to the bed so they could sit down. Lexa sat close so that the entire side of her leg was flush with Clarke’s and laced their fingers together. _

“ _ Come on, Lexa, I wasn’t kidding when I said I had been watching you at meets for years. You are gorgeous, guess I’ve been crushing on you for awhile.” Lexa looked down and tried to fight the blush creeping up her neck. _

“ _ You weren’t the only one.” _

“ _ Wait! If you had a crush on me why didn’t we meet before that fated day on the trail,” Clarke asked pushing her shoulder. _

“ _ I don’t know. I only saw you at meets and when I’m competing, I just stay focused.” _

“ _ The ever stoic Commander,” Clarke said and leaned into her and Lexa wrapped an arm around her waist. She nuzzled into her neck and Clarke laughed. “Who apparently is cuddly after all.” _

“ _ Why did you never approach me?” Lexa said against her neck and smiled when she felt the girl shiver. _

“ _ Are you kidding me? You are seriously intimidating when you are in Commander mode. I didn’t know then that you were such a softie under that pretty face.” _

“ _ Shhh…don’t ever repeat that to anyone. I have my reputation to uphold.” Lexa pulls Clarke into her and eventually lays down and Clarke curls into her side just like they were the week before. _

_ Clarke yawned and Lexa ran her hand absentmindedly up and down her back. She kissed the top of her head, “Get some sleep Clarke. We can talk more in the morning.” _

_ Clarke nodded and cuddled even deeper into Lexa’s arms. _

* * *

 

_ Clarke woke to an empty bed. When she looked at the time on her phone she realized why. She rolled out of bed and stretched her back. She went to her bag to see what leotards she had left before having to do laundry and she saw a piece of paper tucked into the zipper of her bag. She grabbed it and unfolded it. A wide smile spread across her face as she read it: _

**_Clarke -_ **

**_I had to go on my run and I couldn’t bring myself to wake you. You looked so peaceful, hopefully I’ll see you before heading over to the gym._ **

**_-_ _Lexa_ **

_ She folded the note back and slipped it into the back of her sketch book. She tore out a page and left a note of her own before grabbing her bag and heading to the gym. _

* * *

 

_ Lexa pushed the door to the room open and her smile fell a little when she saw Clarke was nowhere in sight, but then it grew again when she saw the folded piece of paper tucked into the zipper of her bag by the door. She grabbed it and read it on her way to the gym: _

**Lexa-**

**Aw thanks for letting me sleep. I’m heading out early to get some extra time on beam but I’ll see you in the gym.**

**XO - C**

_ She thought her cheeks were going to start cramping from smiling so much. She couldn't remember the last time she was this happy. _

_ When she arrived at the gym her eyes immediately gravitated towards the beam where Clarke was practicing her dismounts. Lexa was completely entranced but managed to snap out of it before anyone noticed. She grabbed the notepad she had stowed in her bag and jotted down a note. She snuck over to the beam area and tucked the note into Clarke’s bag. _

**_Clarke -_ **

**_Have you ever seen yourself on beam? You really make it an art. I could watch you all day, but I have my own work out to get to. See you tonight._ **

**_-_ _Lexa_ **

* * *

 

_ After her ice bath Lexa headed back to the room and she had barely dropped her bag by the door when Clarke was pressed against her and tangling her hands in her long, now messy, braids. She laughed and brought her hands up and cupped Clarke’s cheeks. The girl was smiling wide and Lexa closed the distance between them. Clarke’s lips were soft and eager as they moved over hers. Lexa let out a low moan as she nibbled on her bottom lip and she opened her mouth to welcome Clarke’s tongue. They stood like that simply exploring each others mouths for what seemed like forever or maybe Lexa just wished it could be. _

_ Eventually they made their way to the bed and curled up. Clarke was lazily kissing Lexa’s neck and Lexa traced meaningless patterns into the small of her back. She sighed as Clarke moved up her neck to her jaw and she turned her head to meet the girl’s lips. The kiss is slow and sweet and Lexa moves her hand up Clarke’s back and tangles her fingers in the blonde curls. _

_ Clarke pulled back and rested her forehead against Lexa’s. “I don’t think we should tell anyone.” _

_ She leaned back and regarded the blonde carefully. “What do you mean?” _

“ _ Us. I think we should keep it just between us, at least until after worlds. Just you and me till then.” Clarke said and looked down afraid that this was going to upset Lexa. _

“ _ Just you and me for now?” _

“ _ Me and you.” _

_ Lexa smiled and pressed chaste kiss to Clarke’s lips, “I wouldn’t have it any other way.” _

_ Clarke tucked her head under Lexa’s chin and giggled, “Though I make no promise after worlds. I may just scream it from the rooftops.” _

_ Lexa kissed the crown of her head, “Not if I get to the rooftops first.” _

* * *

 

_ She wasn’t sure how she managed it but she had finally made it through the toughest workout of her life. This was the last hard training session before worlds and she was glad it was over. When she reached the room she pulled her shirt over her head and limply let herself fall onto her bed. She buried her face in the pillow that smelled like Clarke. Since starting their relationship they had quickly decided one bed was plenty for the both of them. Lexa was so pleased to wake up to blonde curls and a heavy weight next to her. _

_ Their room had become a safe haven during their time here. Lexa had underestimated how hard it was going to be to not let anyone know about her and Clarke. Mainly she had trouble keeping her hands to herself outside of their room. When they were behind closed door hardly a moment went by that they weren’t in contact. Lexa had learned a few things about Clarke in the time they had been together. One was that the girl hated all forms of pants. She was either in spandex shorts and small cloth shorts that didn’t really constitute as much all the time. Lexa herself never wore shirts once she was sure it didn’t make Clarke uncomfortable. _

_ She was about to drift off to sleep when she felt the bed shift and soon the comforting weight of Clarke settling on her lower back. She leaned down and whispered in Lexa’s ear, “Hard workout?” _

_ She barely managed to let out an affirmative sounding groan. Clarke chuckled and dug her thumbs into the taut muscles of Lexa’s back. The moan that pulled from the back of her throat sounded incredibly inappropriate but she really didn’t care. Clarke was working magic with her fingers as they kneaded into the long stringy muscles in her back. She would let out another moan any time she found a particularly big knot and worked it out. Lexa found herself relaxing even more into the mattress. _

_ Eventually Clarke patted her shoulder to let her know she was done but she didn’t move off of her back and slowly ran her hands up and down her sides. The soft caresses were causing Lexa to drift even closer to unconsciousness. Even with as much as she didn’t want to move she wanted to hold Clarke. _

_ She made a move to roll over and Clarke lifted enough for her to do so. The girl settled back onto her hips and splayed her fingers over Lexa’s toned stomach, while Lexa’s hands came to rest on her thighs. One of her hands moved up to her lower back and pulled her forward. Clarke let herself be pulled forward and laid her chest against Lexa’s but she shifted her hips so they weren’t entirely on top of her. _

_ Lexa flexed her arm wanting Clarke’s weight on her chest. It made her feel safe and protected. Her other hand found Clarke’s and laced their fingers together. Clarke turned her head to the side and sighed contently into the side of Lexa’s neck. They both drifted off with smiles on their lips. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So how fucking cute are Clexa? Also I love the Octaven BroTP in this fic it is life. Also Anya is kind of a bitch.
> 
> Come say hi on tumblr (smttnpegasus.tumblr .com) I really do love talking to you guys. Every kudo and commet really touches me guys. This is for all of y'all so if you liked something let me know.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter Lexa learns some control and Raven has quite the imagination when it comes to Lexa's past.  
> Also putting something off is never good unless it was for someone you love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooooo...i totally meant to post this earlier but I was way more wiped out than I thought after two days at the hospital and got called into work, but here I am. Little bit of warning...there is smut this chapter. If that isn't your thing then skip the first portion of the flashback, if it is your thing let me know what you think, cause I always get nervous when posting the smoot. Also thank you soooo much to everyone who wished me and my grandma well after my last update. So everyone knows she is doing really well and well on her way to a full recovery in record time.  
> Have fun with this one guys!!!

Lexa was not a nervous person, but she was not looking forward to this conversation. She ran her hand over her hair for the hundredth time. It was time to swallow her pride and ask Kane for help.

She pushed into the main gym and saw Kane standing by the warm up tramp as the girls practice simple tumbling. He looked over at her for a second but then went back to directing the girls into different sequences of flips. She took a deep breath and walked up to him.

He nodded to acknowledge her, “Lexa.”

She tried to say hello, but the words stuck in her throat. She really hated what she was about to do. If asking for help was easier her entire life might be different now. Obviously she still needed to work on that.

“I want to learn to control my tricks…” she said and was surprised how soft her voice was. She wouldn’t be surprised if he didn’t even hear her whisper.

“Hmmm…what was that, Lexa?” Kane said and leaned towards her and she didn’t catch the subtle smirk on his face.

“I want to learn to control my tricks.” She said a little louder and this time Kane actually looked at her. She relaxed knowing he had to have heard her this time.

He lifted a hand to his ear, “I’m sorry. I’m having a hard time hearing you. Maybe if you talked a little louder.”

Now he was just being a jackass. She crossed her arms and leveled her best death glare at him, “I’m not saying it again. I know you heard me.”

He exhaled heavily, “Fine, Lexa, you want to learn control then let’s start with some warm ups. Go get changed and meet me here.”

She nodded and shouldered her bag up and headed into the locker room. She smiled at how much better this gym was than where she had been training. She sat down on the bench and unzipped her bag. She pulled out her spandex bottoms and the tape for her wrists. She saw the creased paper sticking out of the inner pocket. She almost reached for it but knew she couldn’t handle that today. She zipped the bag shut and started changing. She had just pulled her shirt over her head when she heard someone behind her.

“Holy shit! Hot Heda alert!” She turned and was completely unsurprised to see Raven standing with her jaw thoroughly dropped.

“Raven. You should probably close your mouth or something might fly in.” She said as she carefully folded her shirt and placed it next to the top of her bag on the bench.

Raven walked up and sat down on the bench, “You showed me the one on your arm but damn that back tattoo is unbelievable. Did the same friend do that one?”

“Yes, he did.” Lexa said and started wrapping her ankle which she had rolled a few days ago.

Raven watched her and Lexa was seriously shocked that the other girls presence didn’t make her uncomfortable. “So can I ask something and not have you rip my head off?”

“Depends.” She said and didn’t look up from her ankle.

“Okay…well I am just gonna go for it. I’ve been wondering why you did it. Everyone knows  _ what _ happened at worlds but not  _ why _ , and I have devised a few theories. You don’t have to explain or anything just give me a yes or a no.” Raven said all of this in one breath and Lexa found herself almost laughing at the girl’s antics.

Lexa didn’t look up but she surprised both herself and Raven when she responded quietly, “Okay.”

“Wow, so you aren’t gonna rip my arms off and beat me with them?” She asked and Lexa could see her tense as if she was preparing for such a fate.

“No.” That was all she said as she placed her folded clothes into her bag.

Raven sighed and relaxed back onto the bench, “Okay so one of my first thoughts was that unknown to everyone else you injured yourself somehow before floor and your pride wouldn’t let you admit it so you left as to not have to watch the US lose the chance at gold…”

The girl was looking at her meaningfully and Lexa sighed, “No.”

Raven seemed determined and rushed into her next theory, “The next one was that the Russians kidnapped your family and threatened to kill them in Siberia unless you threw worlds to keep the US from winning.”

Lexa actually arched a brow at that one. She couldn’t fault Raven for not being creative. “No.”

She was finished up the wrap on her ankle and tested out her range of motion. It was a little hindered but she would just deal with it to make sure she could perform her best in the classic.

“One more. One more.” Raven said looking at her rather enthusiastically and Lexa couldn’t help but be a little curious. Her first two theories had been interesting enough. What could she have thought up this time?

“Unknown to everyone around you, you are a member of a secret order of assassins and gymnastics is just a cover so you can blend in. Right before floor at worlds you were given an assignment and had no choice but to leave to fulfill your duty.” Raven seem rather into this particular theory and Lexa almost laughed. Where was she getting any of this?

She shook her head, “As exciting as you seem to think my life is, no I’m not secretly an assassin.” Raven was about to open her mouth to spout off another theory but Lexa held up her hand, “That is enough theories for now. Kane is waiting on me.”

Raven seemed surprised, “You are training with us today, you usually just go to the old gym.” She stood and followed Lexa out into the main room.

“Needed a change of scenery.” She said with a shrug and headed off to meet up with Kane by the warm up tramp.

The work out Kane put the girls through was intense and focused mainly on control and core strength. Lexa felt like every muscle in her body was being gradually tightened until they would just snap her in half.

She could see how this type of training was very beneficial because now she could tuck tighter and had more control when she was in the air, but God she was gonna be hurting for days.

The girls all walked back to the lodging house together but no one really spoke. They pushed through the door and collapsed in a heap. Raven face planted into the couch while Octavia collapsed on the large arm chair. Her head lulled on one arm while her feet dangled over the other.

Lexa sat on the floor and just spread out enjoying the feel of her muscles stretching after such a grueling day.

“I think I’m dead. O, check my pulse,” Raven said and feebly moved her arm a few inches.

“That would require movement which my muscles are telling me isn’t possible at the moment.” Octavia said and groaned when she tried to lift her arm from where it rested on her waist.

They sat in silence and then Raven lifted her head, “Lexa…Lexa, come over here. I have another theory.”

“Why must I move to hear this theory? I can’t currently feel…anything.” Lexa said and lulled her head to the side that faced the couch.

“Don’t ask me to make sense. I’m in pain over here.” Raven looked like she was trying to sit up but then lost her grip on the couch and slipped and rolled off the couch onto the floor next to Lexa. “Oww.”

“So what is the new riveting Reyes theory?” Lexa said because she was actually curious as to what she had come up with this time.

“What are you two even talking about? I liked wallowing in my pain in silence.” Octavia said and managed to lift a pillow to cover her face.

“I am trying to figure out the great mystery that is Lexa here.” Raven said as she lazily tapped Lexa’s shoulder. She would have usually shrugged away from the contact but she was too tired to really care.

“Good luck with that,” she said and rolled in the chair and Lexa wouldn’t be surprised if she crashed for a nap soon.

“This one is a little extreme, so be prepared.” Raven said and then took a deep breath in preparation for her story, “You are not Lexa Heda. You think that you are but the real Lexa was abducted by aliens and replaced with a pod person who would believe she was Lexa until the day they started their invasion.”

Lexa lulled her head to the side with a shocked expression, “First you thought I was an assassin but now I’m an alien.”

“Hey you could be an alien assassin? How would I know?” She said and moved to sit up groaning loudly through the whole process.

“You are very strange.” She didn’t even try and move and was almost asleep when the someone opened the door. She didn’t open her eyes but she heard someone shuffle and drop a bag by the door before a foot collided with her leg hard.

“God dammit! What the fuck?” She said as she opened her eyes and saw Anya standing with a hand on her hip.

Raven was standing at this point and was looking between the two girls. She raised a hand towards the standing girl, “No need to be a bitch, Anya. We all had a hard day today.”

“It isn’t my fault this lazy ass is in the middle of the walkway.” She said and started to pass by but before she did she muttered under her breath, “She is a waste of space.”

Lexa shot to her feet when she heard that and grabbed the front of Anya’s jacket with one hand and held her in place so she could look her in the eye. “I know you don’t like me. And I don’t like you, but if you want to insult me you do it to my face. Do you understand?”

Anya slapped her hand away and pushed her shoulder forcing her back a few steps. Lexa curled up her fist ready for the fight she felt was coming but then a hand landed on her shoulder, “It’s not worth it, Lexa.”

She turned her head to see Octavia looking at her with a strange expression. She doesn’t look scared that she is going to attack Anya but it almost seems like she is gauging how Lexa is going to handle this. She took a deep breath and forced her shoulders to relax.

“I’m gonna go get an ice bath started,” She turned back to Anya, “I would make yourself scarce by the time I get back.”

* * *

 

They had just finished another day of work outs when Kane called them all together. Lexa knew this had to be to announce who was getting taken to the classic the next weekend. She wasn’t really paying attention but then Kane finished listing off the four names and she didn’t hear her own.

“Are you kidding me?” she didn’t mean to say it out loud but now everyone was looking between her and Kane.

“I’ve made my decision. If you were ready I’d be taking you.”

Now she was on her feet. He had promised if she trained she would have the chance to compete for the purse which could get her out of here. “That is bullshit.”

“Watch yourself Lexa, you are actually showing some emotion,” Anya piped up from where she was lounging, her spot to the classic already confirmed.

Kane ignored Anya and focused on Lexa. “You have made some great progress but just not enough for the classic. Keep working and we’ll see about the invitational after championships.”

He turned to walk away but she was done taking his crap just because she had some judge dictating her life and forcing her to listen to this man.

“No, Kane, you gave me your word. I’ve upheld my end, I earned my place. You told me no one cared what I did, but you know what Marcus, no one cares what  _ you _ do. At least I kept my word.” She turned away and was walking away when Quint walked over to Kane and whispered in his ear. After some deliberation he nodded.

“Lexa may be right. It isn’t right to just decide who gets to go and who doesn’t. I propose an in-house competition. Top four go to the classic next week.”

Lexa turned and locked eyes with him. He nodded and even if she was still seething on the inside she kept her face stern as she nodded in return. He was giving her a chance. She couldn’t let this slip away.

* * *

 

She was laying awake and as hard as she tried she couldn’t get to sleep. The in-house competition was going to be tomorrow and she wasn’t nervous per say, but she just couldn’t get her mind to shut up. She rolled over and tried once again to shut her mind down and finally it seemed to calm enough for her to descend into sleep. This time may have worked because she let her mind wander to the corner that was reserved for a particular blonde. The night before they left for worlds came swimming back to her.

* * *

 

“ _ Clarke, we really need to pack. We leave tomorrow.” Lexa said as she was trying to pack her bag for competition, but her progress was being hindered by the blonde that was currently wrapped around her waist. _

“ _ But I don’t want to. I have other things in mind…” Clarke’s voice had dropped an octave and she kissed Lexa’s shoulder and moved in to suckle at her neck. _

_ Lexa groaned. This girl was going to be the death of her. She rested her hands on the desk and tilted her head to give Clarke more access and she took it greedily. Her hands moved from Lexa’s waist to under the edge of her tank top and felt her abs twitch with the contact. _

“ _ If we don’t get packed tonight we will have to get up really early.” Lexa said but she was already feeling herself getting turned around and completely distracted. _

“ _ We can deal with that in the morning.” She pushed up and captured Lexa’s mouth in a passionate kiss. She lost herself in it and found herself pulling Clarke in by her hips and running her tongue along the roof of her mouth. _

_ She turned them around and pressed her against the desk, slipping her own hands up the back of her shirt and feeling her smooth skin. Clarke pulled back to take in deep breathes and rested her forehead against Lexa’s shoulder. “And to think in less than a week we could be world champions. We can do this, right?” _

_ Lexa cupped her face and stared deep into the crystal blue eyes, “I know we can. In a week’s time we will be world champions. I know it.” _

_ She pulled Clarke into a searing kiss and soon they were both lost in the feel of each other. The blonde’s hands worked up her stomach until eventually Lexa broke from the kiss and allowed the other girl to pull the tank top over her head. She didn’t even see where it was thrown because she was too busy tugging the thin t-shirt from Clarke’s shoulders. Her hands went to the milky white shoulders and caressed down her arms and eventually made it down her sides to her thighs. She reached around and lifted Clarke so she was sitting on the smooth wood of the desk. She kissed her shoulders and peppered kisses down over her collar bones to the tops of her breasts. _

_ Clarke moaned and dug her fingers into Lexa’s back and wrapped her legs fully around the taller girl’s waist. She pulled back and looked straight in those beautiful blue eyes as her hands worked their way around to the hook of her bra. She didn’t want to take this any further than Clarke was comfortable with, but the blonde nodded enthusiastically. She deftly unhooked the bra and Clarke shrugged out of it. Lexa had a hard time not shamelessly staring at her. When she finally raised her eyes Clarke’s locked with hers and they were hooded and the smug smirk told Lexa she knew exactly how she was affecting her. She leaned back in to wipe that smirk off her face and palmed one large breast as she did. She swallowed the groan it pulled from Clarke’s throat. _

_ Her other hand snaked down under Clarke’s ass and lifted her entirely off the desk. Clarke yelped in surprise but busied herself with nipping up Lexa’s neck. _

“ _ No hickeys, Clarke,” she growled and dropped Clarke onto the bed. She moved to straddle the girl and pulled the sports bra over her head. There was a devilish twinkle in Clarke’s eyes as she sat up and began lavishing attention on her chest. When she bit just hard enough to bruise on her sternum, Lexa growled again. _

“ _ What? No one will see it.” She said and Lexa pushed her down into the bed and lowered herself onto the blonde. She kissed her gently and it soon grew passionate and Lexa felt Clarke bucking her hips up into her and the friction it caused made her head spin. She ground back down into her and Clarke let out a hiss. _

_ She pulled back and couldn’t help but chuckle when Clarke whined in protest, but when she moved her mouth down to take a nipple in her mouth the whine turned into a drawn out exclamation. _

_ She kissed her way down her body and lathed her tongue over the marks she sucked into the pale skin. When she reached the girl’s hips she made a line of kisses from one to the other and then hooked her index fingers into the waistband of Clarke’s shorts. She flicks her eyes up and raises a questioning eyebrow to Clarke. The blonde is breathing heavily with her head thrown back on the pillow. The sight was purely erotic to Lexa and it spiked the heat burning low in her belly. _

_ When the girl realized she had paused her progress she opened her eyes and looked down with blown pupils. Lexa slipped her tongue out over a prominent hip bone and lifted her fingers in the waistband, “Can I?” _

“ _ God, yes!” _

_ Lexa giggled again and pulled the shorts along with Clarke’s underwear down her legs and flicked them away from the bed. _

_ She kissed the inside of her thighs and move up at a snail’s pace. Clarke buried a hand in her hair and tried to pull her to where she wanted her, while her other hand fisted in the blankets. _

_ Just to tease her more Lexa skipped over her core entirely and kissed her way back up her abdomen that was fluttering under her lips. She spent a few extra moments paying her breasts ample attention and then connected their lips once again. _

_ One hand pulled Clarke’s leg up to her hip while the other drifted between their bodies. The moment her fingers met the wet folds Clarke threw her head back again. Lexa set a slow but steady pace on the girl’s clit. Clarke’s hand that had been tangled in Lexa’s hair had slipped to her neck and was pulling her in for hungry sloppy kisses. Her other hand went to the band of Lexa’s sweat pants that had still yet to be removed. She moved her hand lower and was surprised to find Lexa had nothing on underneath the baggy material. _

“ _ Ooo…commando, Commander?” _

“ _ Says the girl who hardly wears pants.” Lexa huffed and she wasn’t exactly shocked they were having a conversation now of all times. _

“ _ Speaking of pants…why are you still wearing these?” Clarke said as she reached down and gripped the fabric of her pants while also grabbing her ass. _

“ _ Do you really want me to stop to take them off?” She punctuated her statement by slipping a finger into the girl who moaned loudly. She took that as a no and continued to move her finger within the girl, adding a second as she picked up her pace. _

_ Clarke followed her lead and dipped her hand lower to meet the heat between Lexa’s legs. She pushed her face into Clarke’s neck to suppress the moan she felt rumbling up from her lungs. _

_ Clarke met Lexa thrust for thrust and soon they were both grinding their hips to meet with more force. Lexa could feel her release coming and her rhythm became erratic but by the hitch in Clarke’s breath she wasn’t far away either. _

_ Green eyes met blue and Lexa felt herself sinking, “Together?” _

_ Clarke’s voice was unbelievably breathy and almost sent her over by itself, “Together.” _

_ Lexa pressed down to kiss Clarke just as her orgasm hit her. They both shook as the aftershocks rolled through them slowly. When Clarke’s breathing had managed to level out she removed her hand and moved slightly to the side and rolled off the bed. She quickly shucked off the pants and then laid back down next Clarke. _

“ _ Better?” She asked and Clarke reached down and ran a hand over her toned thigh. _

“ _ Mmm much.” She pulled Lexa close and kissed her lazily. When she pulled back she had a smug grin painting her features, “See, now wasn’t that better than packing?” _

“ _ Yes, but we still do need to pack.” Lexa said but pulled her closer into her side and swung a thin blanket over them. “But that can wait until morning.” _

_ Clarke was already drifting off to sleep in the warmth of Lexa’s arms. “Morning…sounds good.” _

_ She rolled in her arms and snugged her back to Lexa’s chest and she gladly wrapped an arm around her middle and stroked her shoulder with her other hand. She pressed a kiss to her neck and nuzzled in tighter to her. “Good night, Clarke.” _

_ Clarke pulled the hand on her waist up to her mouth and kissed the palm of her hand. She tucked it close to her chest, “Night, Lexa.” _

* * *

 

_ Lexa woke first and she inhaled deeply and all she could smell and feel was Clarke. She was wrapped around her and her head rested over Lexa’s heart. Their legs were tangled together and one of her hands was clutched in Clarke’s tight against her chest. She pressed a kiss to the crown of her head and then tried to pull herself from the slumbering blonde. She was free soon and stood from the bed. She stretched her back and felt everything pull tight and then relax. She hadn’t felt this good in ages. She pulled on her sweats from the day before and had to look for a moment to find her sports bra. As she stood looking down at Clarke who had stretched out and now was barely covered by the blanket. God, how did she get so lucky? Her heart felt so warm as she moved a lock of golden hair away from that angelic face. She couldn’t express how she loved this girl. The thought didn’t even surprise her, she felt she had known it for a while now. It hadn’t been long, but she loved Clarke Griffin all the same. She wasn’t ready to tell her yet, but she would eventually. Till then, just having her here was enough. She leaned down and pressed a kiss between her shoulder blades. _

* * *

Lexa sat up and could feel the sweat slick on her skin. She hadn’t had that particular dream in months. She looked at the time and groaned, she had only gotten a few hours of sleep. Also she noticed how incredibly worked up the dream had left her. Why did her memories have to be so vivid? She wouldn’t get much more sleep now, that was for sure. She rolled over and shoved her head under the pillow and groaned. This would be a long night.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yep, that just happened!! Hope guys liked it! There is so much coming guys, you are not ready but for now things are going pretty good.  
> Come say hi guys on tumblr (smttnpegasus.tumblr.com) and let me know what you think is gonna happen next.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter the athletes for the classic are chosen and Octavia figures something out. Anya almost causes more trouble and Lexa gets an unwanted shower of sorts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry for missing the update yesterday. My life just became an emotional shitstorm over the last few days and I honestly completely forgot. I will do my best to keep posting this, and don't worry this is completely written so it will get posted, just depends on time and energy. As far as my Familyverse goes i will get things up as i have time to write, but it may be some time in between the additions.  
> Seeing that you guys love this really does give me so much joy and I need it at the moment. Love you guys, have fun with this.

Lexa stretched her arms over her head, the tight material of her leo pulled tight on her torso. Kane didn't pull any punches when he said they were having an in house competition. He had even called in official league judges for the event. She'd warmed up away from the other girls so she could fully embody her "commander" persona and get ready to prove exactly why she deserved to go to the classic.

She saw Octavia and Raven by the floor platform talking to Anya. She really wanted to mind her own business but from the scrunched brows that Anya was up to her old tactic again. She caught the tail end of the conversation as she approached behind the blonde.

“…And the woman on the end…total vault bitch, I mean stick your landing or you basically don’t exist.”

“Still sticking to the same old shit I see, Anya? Guess what they say about old dogs really is true, never any new tricks,” She quirked an eyebrow up and the other woman gaped at her before huffing a walking away from the group.

Octavia smiled, “I have never heard someone shut her up so easily.”

Lexa shrugged, “Eh, she used to do the same thing to me when we trained together. She is just trying to sike you guys out so she can get her spot to the classic. You know what I do?”

Both Raven and Octavia glanced to each other then back to Lexa and shook their heads.

“Well, I look at the judges in their tailored blue blazers and I ask myself if they can do any of the things I do everyday in this gym. The answer is easily no. I have trained and put in the sweat and the pain to be right where I am. They sit at a table and try and judge me; no, nothing they say can invalidate that I belong here. I have earned my place. Remember that and you’ll do just fine.” Lexa said and tapped Octavia on the shoulder before turning away.

“Oh, wait before you go I have another theory!” Raven said and Lexa turned back to face the girl. She saw the excited smile and rolled her eyes before motioning for her to continue.

“Okay, so bare with me. You went to worlds but before floor you had an existential crisis and realized you didn’t know what it all meant so you left to go on walkabout. You have now returned knowing that gymnastics is your one true calling but the wisdom gained on your walkabout has made you the Yoda of gymnastics.”

Octavia bent at the waist and cackled but Raven smacked her shoulder leaving a hand print on the woman’s skin, “You ass, that was a good one.”

Lexa just chuckled, “Yoda of gymnastics? No, not even remotely close.”

Raven just hung her head with a whispered, “Damn.”

Lexa pushed through the day and wasn’t entirely pleased with her beam and vault but her floor routine was spot on with an okay showing on bars. She was certain it was more than enough to get her in the top four in the gym. The girls lounged on a bleacher section and Lexa munched on an apple to regain some energy as Kane walked up to announce the winners.

“Alright girls, the numbers are in. And the big winner is Raven.” The girl jumped up and fist bumped Octavia from behind. Kane motioned for her to calm down, “Second is Octavia.” The brunette smiled wide and promptly tackles the other out of the bleachers, “Alright calm it down. Lexa is third and Monroe is fourth. Anya you will be the alternate.”

“What the fuck?!” Anya shot up and stared daggers at Kane.

“Anya, please sit down. There is no reason for that kind of language.” Kane said softly but the firmness of his tone was unmistakable.

“Hell no I will not sit down this is utter bullshit! I should be the one going to the classic,” She turned and stared daggers at Lexa and pointed an accusing finger, “But this bitch wanted to be a special snowflake and all but forced you to have this bullshit competition! She shouldn’t be here and you know that but still you let her stay! God I never should have left Wallace for this shit hole!”

Anya had moved her way down the bleachers until she was all but yelling in Kane’s face but he didn’t move to back away. He took one step forward and locked eyes with the furious woman and in a very calm voice that dripped with poison, “You will leave this gym right now and come back tomorrow with an apology for Lexa and the rest of these girls or you will  _ have _ to go back to Wallace. Do you understand me?”

Anya bowed up for a moment but then turned her head and marched, without another word, out of the gym.

Lexa fought to keep the smirk off of her face, but when Kane’s eyes shifted to her she did give him a nod. The girls filtered out after that and Lexa relaxed back on her elbows with her ear buds playing Cher in her ears. She was shocked when someone, or more like two someones grabbed her. She ripped her ear buds out and pushed at the unwelcome contact.

“The fuck guys!?!”

Raven and Octavia both looked at her with Cheshire grins. Lexa rolled her eyes and stood up pushing between the two smiling girls.

“Hey, come on, Lexa. We were just getting in a group hug.”

“That doesn’t give you the right to touch me without my consent!” Lexa snapped harshly before taking a deep breath. She needed to calm down. These were the only girls who were even trying to be accepting of her prescience here, alienating them was not a good plan.

“Whoa! Okay, geez. Anyone ever tell you that your commander side is terrifying?” Raven said and backed away a step.

Lexa’s mind immediately went to a smirking blonde and her heart ached. She took another deep breath and let it out slowly, “There was this one person.”

Octavia was looking at her with that strange expression again like she was trying to read fine print or staring at a hidden picture game and couldn’t quite make out the answer. It sent a shiver down her spine, but she didn’t know why. The look was gone as quickly as it had appeared when Raven started speaking again, “Well, Octavia and I were gonna go get pizza or something to celebrate. Wanna come?”

“Yeah, come with us Lexa. Before you stood up to Kane none of us were going to the classic. Now, we are all going. What could it hurt?” Octavia said and the smile was genuine and one glance at Raven she could tell the girl was practically vibrating with excitement. These girls really wanted to spend time with her outside of the gym, maybe this was that next step. She had told herself she was done hiding. Now time to prove it.

“Sure pizza sounds good.”

* * *

 

They walked about a mile to a small pizzeria. Lexa was wearing her black tank top and skinny jeans that had the knees entirely ripped out of them. Her hair was still damp from her shower so she pulled a beanie on to control the curls once they dried. Raven and Octavia were both wearing street clothes and they looked so different out of the normal leos and spandex they wore in the gym.

Octavia was wearing a maroon t-shirt and gray jeans with a leather jacket that hung a little too loose from her shoulders. Raven had a gray tank top and green cargo pants with her red jacket that was a little too worn but well loved.

“Yo, Commander, someone is checking you out…”

Lexa looked at Raven with a confused tick of her eyebrow, “What?”

“The hottie at the end of the counter,” She whispered and Lexa turned to look and saw a guy leering in their direction. He had shaggy black hair and a smirk that made Lexa roll her eyes.

“Not my type.” She said and ordered her pizza and followed Octavia to a booth in the middle of the pizzeria.

Raven scooted in across from her and leveled a look at her, “So, Heda, if he isn’t your type then what is?”

Lexa just chuckled, “Well, for starters…female.”

Octavia suddenly dropped her hand to the table, “Oh my god…”

“Everything okay?” Lexa asked in shock.

The brunette seemed to snap out of her thoughts and locked eyes with Lexa. She had a knowing look that unnerved Lexa but she wasn’t sure why. “Oh nothing…I just figured out the answer to a question I’ve been stuck on for awhile.”

Lexa just shook her head, “Glad you figured it out then, I guess.”

Raven drew her attention again, “Now that we know you are all about the ladies. Who in this pizzeria is hot?”

“I’m not gonna objectify random woman just to tame your curiosity.” Lexa said and sipped at her water glass.

“I’m just trying to get to know you, Lexa. We’re friends, right?” Raven said and for once her voice didn’t have that sarcastic lilt.

“Right. Friends.” Her lips tilted up in an almost imperceptible smile. She had friends now. People who cared about where she went from here. It felt good.

* * *

 

Lexa was lounging on a crash pad waiting for a beam to free up so she could polish up her routine before the classic. Raven was dancing off to the side. She had some amazing moves but sadly most would never work in a gymnastics routine. She had seen Kane get onto her multiple times about how the hip hop dancing could throw off her usual routines.

She heard a shift of fabric and when she turned back she saw Anya stepping up on the crash pad and walking towards her.

She stood and made sure her face was clear of emotion when the woman reached her. Anya’s jaw was tight and she crossed her arms but refused to meet Lexa’s eye.

Lexa just sighed. Anya had been a thorn in her side from the day she arrived, but now was no time to start anything. She knew Anya was too proud to apologize like Kane ordered. “Look, we both know you don’t want to go back under Wallace’s anymore than I would. But you also would rather eat shit than apologize to me. I don’t want trouble for either of us though. So if Kane asks you apologized and it was very heartfelt…understood?”

Lexa extended a hand and waited. Either Anya would accept the ceasefire of sorts or make everything worse. She really hoped for the former. Anya worked her jaw and grabbed her hand but only long enough to constitute a handshake.

“Good to see you girls finally getting along,” Kane said as he stepped up next to them. He turned to Anya, “Also I will need you to loan your team leo to Lexa. We don’t have enough time to order her one of her own before the classic.”

“Oh come on Coach. That is so unsanitary.”

Lexa just smirk, “Don’t worry. I’ll even wash it before I give it back.”

Anya look like she was about to call an end to their momentary truce when a yelp sounded from the beam area followed by a pained groan.

Lexa turned and saw Monroe rolling on the mat clutching her leg, “Oh my god.”

She hurried over and tried her best to see what was hurting them. She could already see the angry bruise spreading across their hamstring. Anya had wandered over and when Kane knelt down next to Lexa he sighed.

“Anya, go pack your bag.” He rested a hand on Lexa’s shoulder, “We’ll figure out your leo later.”

Anya pumped her fist with a soft cheer, “Yes.”

Lexa picked Monroe up and tried to avoid touching the injured hamstring. She stared daggers at Anya as she passed her, “You really are a heartless bitch. Come on, Monroe, let’s get you checked out.”

Anya just shrugged it off though her eyes did seem to soften a little once she passed by.

* * *

 

The van slowed outside of the competition venue and Raven pulled the door open. The four of them piled out and Kane yelled he would find a spot for the van and join them inside.

Lexa gripped the straps of her backpack and tried to fight off the tension and anxiety buzzing in the base of her skull. She walked in with the others and tried to focus on the chatter between Octavia and Raven, but it was fading into the background noise. She could feel her breath quickening and her heart rate ratcheting up. She couldn’t do this, not here. Not in front of everyone.

“You okay, Commander?” Raven asked but Lexa just shook her head and made a break for the rest room.

Once inside she dropped her bag and splashed water on her face. She needed to calm down, quickly. She dug inside her bag and found the soft paper. She unfolded it and scanned the lines again and again. With every pass her breathing leveled out. She finally took in a deep breath and closed her eyes. She pictured the face of the one person who always calmed her down. Blonde hair blue eyes. No matter how much time had passed her face never faded. She had to go back out there and compete. She could do this. She had to do this. No more hiding.

While in the bathroom she changed into her leo to save time. Left her warm up top in her bag but pulled on the bottoms. She swung her bag on and walked out. She was shocked to see Lincoln leaning against the wall and Gustus standing with his arms crossed and staring at the crowd. His eyes widen slightly when he saw her, “Heda.”

“What are you guys doing here?”

“We heard you were gonna be competing and had to come support our commander.” Lincoln said as he swept her up into a bone-crushing hug. What surprised him is she returned it wholeheartedly.

“Lexa…umm Coach was looking for you.” Lexa nodded and followed her towards the main arena. She was waylaid when a girl stepped in front of her and dumped a freezing cold soda all over her.

“That’s for worlds, bitch.”

Gustus moved to grab her arm but Lexa stopped him. She was wiping the the sticky soda from her face.

“No one should be allowed to disrespect you like that.” Gustus said and grabbed her bag as she handed it to him so she could pull the sleeves off her arms. It was ruined beyond the point she could use it today.

“It wouldn’t make a difference Gus. They will not stop hating me simply because you tell them to.”

“Lexa, what happened?” Kane came through the crowd and tried to figure out why she was standing in the lobby half naked covered in soda.

“Doesn’t matter. I need a leo though.” She said and grabbed the paper towels Lincoln offered to dry her arms as best she could.

Kane reached into his pocket and pulled out his wallet. He handed her a few twenties, “Go find one at the merch store. Just trash that one. We’ll order a new one for Monroe when we order yours.”

Lexa hated to accept money from the man but she needed a leotard and god knew she didn’t have the money for it. Gustus and Lincoln followed her over to the stall that was selling t-shirts and leos. She looked through the rack and found all of the available designs were hideous. She was lucky enough to find a plain black one after looking at almost every one of them.

When she walked over to the Gustus and Lincoln she just overheard, “I’m hungry Gus. Can we get nachos?”

Gus’ lips just barely twitched and he nodded. Lincoln almost started dancing.

“You guys can go find seats. I have to get warmed up, but thanks for being here.”

Lincoln smiled and hugged Lexa again before following Gustus towards the concession stand.

When she was heading back to the arena she caught sight of Octavia waiting for her. Her eyes seemed to be focus behind her and she turned to see who she was focusing on. Lincoln was trying to lick nacho cheese that had somehow gotten on his elbow.

“You know, he is single.” She said and Octavia seemed to snap out of it and stuttered.

“What?”

“Lincoln. He’s single. But I swear you get close and hurt him I will make you disappear.”

Octavia just gulped and nodded.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter Lexa tries and Anya fucks it up. There is an unwelcome visitor that delivers painful news.  
> Also sometimes you have to let go even when it will break you the most.

The chair she was sitting in was incredibly uncomfortable but she made the best of it. O and Raven finished their warm-up and came to sit by her.

“So, are you nervous?” Octavia asked as she took a swig of water from her bottle.

“No.” Lexa said simply. She wasn’t nervous. She thrived on the nerves that came before competition. It helped her hone her focus to a razor’s edge.

Lexa looked over and saw Raven bouncing her knee rapidly and O was ringing the sleeves of her warm up top. They had never been to a competition this big before.

“Hey guys don’t let the fact we are in a different setting mess with you. This is just like back in the gym. The judges have nothing on you go out there and make them look at you. Turn the heads of the judges at other events. Make them remember you. Don’t let fear stop you from doing that.” She looked at them both and was relieved when she saw them both stop fidgeting as they talked. She just wanted them to do their best. She hadn’t known them for long, but she cared enough to help these girls anyway she could.

“Told you…fucking Yoda.” Raven said as she stood to chalk up for her vault run.

Lexa watches as the other girl presents and then runs full speed at the vault. She can tell that while she is in the air she doesn’t quite finish her rotation but manages to land on her feet but the momentum is too much and she stumbles right into Kane.

“That looked like a one and a half. Since when do you do that?” Kane asked with a tone of anger under his words.

Raven shrugged and looked away, “I don’t know.”

Lexa clasped a hand on her shoulder as she sat down. “Don’t get discouraged, that was good, just work on your rotation in the air next time.”

Raven nodded and Lexa stood to do her own vault. Kane grabbed her shoulder and she could tell by his grip he wasn’t happy with her, “You aren’t here to coach the girls, Heda.”

“They were nervous I was trying to help. Looks like it worked.”

“Lexa…”

“Kane, I’ll do my thing. You do yours. That is how we work best.” She shrugged him off and presented to the judges. She took end a deep breath as she lined up her run and took off. The moment her hands left the vault she knew she was going to stick the landing. Her body twisted and for a moment she was weightless. Nothing could hold her down, until her feet touched mat and her knees bent to absorb the impact. She tightened her core to hold everything up right and when she felt herself settle she raised her hands to present. The crowd applauded and she walked off. She couldn’t hold the smirk off her face when she walked by Kane at the end of the runway.

The day continued on and Lexa watched the girls continually push themselves. Octavia was killing it on the uneven bars but then she ended a pass too far away and hit the mat hard. Kane helped her up but then got in her face, “What was that?!”

Lexa tried to cheer her up after Kane ripped into her, “Hey, you’ll get that next time.”

So far she was at the top of the leader board and she had to admit it felt good to be on top again. She had forgotten the feeling and she missed that high.

After that event they had a short break so she went to get a Gatorade. Today was going much better than expected.

* * *

 

Anya had seen the way Lexa was treating the girls and she had a wicked idea of how to get back at the brunette. She had taken everything from her. She was the top dog at Wallace’s gym but then Heda came along and suddenly she was yesterday’s news. She could have gotten over it eventually but to have that same bitch walk out on worlds like it meant nothing. She would ruin her.

She walked over to O and Raven and listened to them talk. Within a few moments she was able to hear enough.

“You know what she is doing right?” The girls looked at her like she had grown a third head. It was rare for her to talk to them and usually only when absolutely necessary.

Raven spoke up first, “What are you talking about?”

“You both know she has been practicing her own stuff for weeks in the old gym, right?” Anya tried her best not to sound condescending, but she wasn’t sure she accomplished it.

“So what?” Octavia spoke up this time.

“She wants you to hit your hardest moves because she knows you haven’t practiced them enough. Kane is too timid for hard stuff. She knows that. She wants you to fuck up.”

Raven just shook her head but Anya could tell she was winning Octavia over. Now for the final nail, “She wants the prize money. She is just that kind of selfish bitch.”

Both girls had furrowed brows and tense jaws. Anya felt her job was done. How haughty would Lexa be without her little ducklings?

Kane had his back to the girls but heard everything.

* * *

 

Lexa had just opened the Gatorade to take a drink when she heard a voice in the crowd.

“Sugar, over here…”

_ Oh, no. _

Suddenly arms were around her and her body tensed at the sensation. When she pushed the woman away she hated how much she couldn’t even stand to look at her mother.

“It is so good to see you. Now, Sugar, we need to talk about you coming back to train with Cage. It doesn’t look good to have you training somewhere else.”

Lexa just took a step back and shook her head, “What are you even talking about, Mom? I’m not going back to that prick.”

“You owe him some respect, young lady.” She said and cocked her hip as she waggled her finger at Lexa.

Lexa felt the anger well over then, “I respect those who respect me.”

“And what? You think Marcus Kane respects you?”

“More than that asshole Wallace ever did.” Lexa says and turns to leave. She doesn’t have to listen to anything her mother says.

“The only thing Kane respects it money.” She heard her mother say and she froze. Her mother wasn’t one to say something unless she knew it would have effect.

“That’s right, Sugar. Your dad called every gym in the country. No one wanted you. The only reason Kane agreed to this is because your father is paying him four times as much as every other girl there.”

Lexa felt like her chest was collapsing.  _ No one wanted me. _

She had felt this way once before. When she fell from the highest point in her life.

* * *

 

_ Things could not be going better. They had worked through the first three events easily and now the way the points had stacked up Lexa figured all they needed was solid performances on floor and gold was theirs. _

_ She had her gear bag slung over her shoulder and and was trying to find a quiet place to calm her nerves before going on the floor. Worlds was on the line and she couldn’t screw this up. _

_ She saw the door to the stairwell and figured that was as good a place as any. She pushed open the door and was about to put her ear buds in when she heard the yelling. _

“ _ I cannot believe you!” Was that her father? _

“ _ I do not want to talk about this now. Lexa is about to go on the floor.” That was definitely her mother. _

“ _ What do you care? You are about to leave so who gives a fuck if you see her perform one last time.” Her father never yelled and especially at her mother, what was going on? What did he mean her mother was leaving? _

“ _ Don’t say that. I will still be here to see my baby perform. Don’t act like I don’t care about her anymore because of this.” She could hear the sound of tears on her mother’s voice. _

“ _ You don’t care. If you cared you wouldn’t be fucking her coach!” Lexa felt her heart stop. She couldn’t have heard that right. Before she could stop herself she turned the corner and looked at the scene in front of her. _

_ Her mother was in tears and her father had his shoulders rolled back and a vein was pumping visibly in his neck. Her mother noticed her first, she wiped furiously at her face and was smearing mascara everywhere. “Sugar, what are you doing here?” _

_ Lexa didn’t know what to say. She wanted to yell and scream and throw things but her body and voice wouldn’t obey. _

_ Her father seemed to come to his senses and stepped between the two of them. “Lexa, you should go. We will talk about this after the meet.” _

_ The shocked paralysis wore off and Lexa threw her bag to the floor, “Cut the shit, Dad, what the hell is going on?” _

_ He looked away towards the floor but didn’t say anything. She pushed past him so she could get to her mother. “Is it true? Are you sleeping with Wallace?” _

“ _ Sugar…” _

“ _ Don’t ‘Sugar’ me, Mom! Just tell me the truth! Are you sleeping with Wallace?” _

_ Her mother hesitated but then looked up at her with tear-filled eyes, “Honey, you have to under…” _

“ _ No! No! My coach, Mom!” She couldn’t bring herself to calm down, “And you are leaving us…leaving me…for him?! How could you do this to us!?” _

“ _ Sweetie…” She reached out towards Lexa and she cringed away. _

“ _ Don’t touch me! Just stop…I can’t…” She grabbed her bag and turned away from her parents. So many things running through her head she couldn’t process anything. She heard her father call after her but she couldn’t face them again. Not yet. She needed to figure this all out first. _

_ She was in one of the side hallways under the bleachers of the stadium and she was almost positive she was alone. She dropped her bag and slipped down the wall till she had her knees pulled up to her chest. She wasn’t surprised when she felt wetness on the back of her hands. She was crying but she couldn’t place when the tears had started. There was so much and she just couldn’t…didn’t know how to handle it all. How could her mom be sleeping with her coach? A man who had worked with her day in and day out. How had she not noticed? She trusted him like a second father and he pulled this. He destroyed her family, the only thing she cared about outside of this stupid sport. _

_ An image of blonde curls and blue eyes flashed behind her eyelids. Maybe not the only thing. She stood and made her way to the double doors that led back into the arena and she had a perfect vantage point of the floor. Clarke had just started her routine and Lexa was struck again by just how beautiful she was. She reached for her gear bag and pulled out the notepad she had taking to carrying in it. She wrote quickly, knowing she only had a few minutes before she would be done on floor. The words were hard to write but she kept going knowing she needed Clarke to know why. Tears rolled down her cheeks on to the pages but she did her best to ignore them. When she finished the letter she folded it and headed out onto the arena floor. _

_ She reached the bench where all of their stuff was and immediately found Clarke’s gear bag. She was about slip the letter into the zipper but she paused. She turned her head and saw Clarke dancing across the blue floor platform. She couldn’t put this on her. She was so free and bright. She made a snap decision and tucked the letter back into her bag. She ripped off a piece of paper and jotted down a short note and slipped it into the zipper. _

_ She swung her bag onto her back and headed out of the arena but not without looking back and seeing a iridescent smile from the girl she loved as she walked off the platform. She couldn’t bring herself to smile back. Her entire life was imploding but at least she got to spend some time with her own personal sun first. _

* * *

 

Lexa pushed through the crowd trying to get as far away from her mother as she could. She couldn’t do this again. She wanted nothing more than to find a quiet place to curl up and fall apart, but she couldn’t.

She found herself standing in an empty corner of the lobby trying to control her breathing. How had she been fooled again? She did her best to keep people out and she opened up just to be let down again. Kane didn’t care about her. Kane only wanted her father’s money. That was the only reason he kept her from leaving. She was a walking piggy bank to him.

She leaned her forehead against the smooth wall and clenched her fists. She wanted to let loose, to feel the pain of her fist connecting with the wall. She wanted to but something held her back.

Raven and Octavia were in that arena. Her father hadn’t pay them to accept her and befriend her. Kane may have let her down but they hadn’t. She had to go back in there…for them.

She took in a deep breath and headed back into the arena. When she reached the bench she had managed to calm down enough to smile at Raven and Octavia.

Octavia sneered, “Hope we did a good job of distracting the judges for you.”

“What?”

Raven just seemed deflated as she said, “We get it. You want to win the purse, but you could have just told us instead of making us look like idiots.”

They both moved away and Lexa found she was having trouble breathing. Her head was full of the thready beat of her heart. She heard them call for her to perform on beam and she walked up in a haze. Her body was on auto-pilot while her mind reeled.

As she pulled her warm-ups off Kane came up and frowned. “I have to say I am seriously disappointed in you, Lexa. I understand why you want that prize money, but sabotaging the other girls. I thought you were better than this.”

Lexa clenched her fists. She wanted to deck him. Make him feel the pain she had tearing through her chest. Instead she just moved forward to present for the judges before pulling herself up onto the beam.

Her limbs felt heavy and her movements sluggish but she did her best to push through the routine. She did her best to keep her eyes down and her face impassive but everything from the past year flashed through her mind ripping at her heart with every pass.

Before long she felt the prick of tears in her eyes. She fought with everything she had to hold them in but as she lifted herself up into a balancing element the first one fell onto the beam with a splash.

After that they fell in steady streams. She hadn’t ever felt this low. Her chest felt empty, like it had been hollowed out. She just didn’t have anything left.

She dismounted with a simple flip. When she landed no one clapped or cheered. She tried to swallow down everything she was feeling, but the tears wouldn’t stop.

She grabbed her bag and made a beeline for the exit. This was the last straw, she was done. She had tried not hiding and it caused this current gaping ache in her chest. If hiding kept her safe from this kind of pain then she would hide.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ummmmm....i'm gonna go run and hide in a hole now. It gets really serious from here guys. I'm sorry!!!!


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter Lexa finally lets things out and Lincoln and Gustus are sweethearts. Also Lexa finally gets to punch something, but someone also makes amends.

Lexa dropped everything when she made it into the hallway and wrenched the leo off her shoulders. She was pulling her pants up her legs when the door behind her swung open. She glanced and rolled her eyes when she saw Kane striding towards her.

“Heda, what are you doing?”

She ignored him and shrugged into her jacket zipping it up harshly.

“Go back in there and finish the meet. Don’t let this be another worlds.”

Lexa froze. She turned at glared at Kane, “You don’t know the first thing about worlds!”

“You’re right I don’t, but just get back in there and finish this. Do it for yourself. I know you aren’t a quitter, Lexa.” He said and took a step towards her.

“Don’t act like you know me! Or that you even care! All you care about are those ludicrous checks from my father!” Lexa yelled and clenched her fists. Kane’s eyes widened and it was all she needed to know her mother had been telling her the truth.

Kane rubbed his eyes, “Maybe it’s time you just go back to Wallace then.”

“Wallace!? You want to send me to Wallace?”

“Well, you won’t listen to me. You listened to him long enough for him to get you to worlds.” He said and that was the moment Lexa lost all ability to hold in the anger she had been holding for over a year.

“He had  _ nothing _ to do with me making it to worlds! I trained and pushed myself every day to get there! All that waste of a human being did was gain my trust so he could sleep with my mom! He  _ destroyed _ my family and ruined  _ everything _ !” She was fuming and the feeling of fresh tears on her cheeks just infuriated her more.

Kane was shocked and took a step forward, “When…when did you find that out?”

Lexa gritted her teeth, “Before floor…at worlds.”

Kane took a step towards her and she moved back. She didn’t want to be anywhere near him.

“I had no idea, Lexa.”

“Of course you didn’t. Look Marcus, I could let it go if you were just a shitty coach who took the easy money and let me be, but you didn’t. You convinced me you cared. In this situation you didn’t owe it to me to be a good coach. You owed it to me to be a decent human being. You failed.” With that Lexa turned and walked off. Kane didn’t try and stop her this time.

* * *

 

Lexa had her arms wrapped tightly around her chest gripping the straps of her gear bag like it was the only thing holding her together. Her shoes scuffed against the gravel on the side of the road.

The tears hadn’t stopped since she left the arena but she hadn’t really tried to stop them. She had done her best to hold everything in for so long. It was all coming out now and she was too tired to care.

She jumped when a truck screeched to a stop beside her on the road but when Lincoln jumped from the bed she relaxed. He wrapped his big arms around her shoulders and she buried her face in his neck. A new round of sobs pulled from her chest and she let herself cried onto his shirt. He only tightened his arms. She felt another hand on her shoulder and knew Gustus was there as well.

She wasn’t sure how long they stood there but when a car honked rudely as it passed by she pushed at Lincoln’s shoulders. He dropped his arms and smiled at her weakly. Gustus moved to open the door of the truck for her. She climbed in and pulled her bag to her chest and hugged it tight. Her fingers traced over the patterns she had memorized at this point.

Lincoln and Gus both climbed in and Gus revved the engine. She didn’t know where they were heading. She just buried her face in the rough material of the bag.

After a while Lincoln cleared his throat and turned around in his seat. “I have a very serious question, Lexa?”

She could tell by his tone that his question was gonna be anything but serious. She nodded.

“Okay…so how do yall’s leotards not go up your asses?”

Gustus cut his eyes Lincoln but Lexa just laughed. It was an empty laugh, but a laugh nonetheless.

“I’m serious. I wrestled in high school and those singlets gave massive wedgies.”

Lexa sniffled, her voice was harsh when she finally spoke, “Tough skin.”

“Whoa! TMI, Lexa! I don’t need to hear about your ass calluses.” Lincoln clasped his hands over his ears.

Lexa laughed again and smacked the back of his head, “It’s a sticky spray called Tough Skin, you ass.”

“Hey, how was I supposed to know that?” He asked rubbing his head.

After a moment everyone seemed to sober and Lexa hugged her bag again. Lincoln reached back and rubbed her shoulder, “Are you gonna be okay?”

Lexa yet again blinked back tears and stared out the window. She couldn’t look at the sympathy in Lincoln’s eyes, “No…I don’t know. I’m pretty much fucked this time.”

He nodded slowly, “Sounds like a time for the gym to me?”

Lexa just smirked, “So it does.”

Gustus flipped on his turn signal and moved over to the turn lane, “The gym it is.”

* * *

 

An hour later they pulled into the parking lot and Lexa clenched her fists. She hadn’t been here since a month before she was arrested. This was a safe haven to her. Gustus’ father owned and operated this local boxing gym. The first time Gus brought her here she had almost laughed, but the first time her hand connected with the heavy bag she felt better than she had in months. After that she went there constantly. If she wasn’t out riding she was here trying to literally beat her troubles out. When they walked in she could smell the musk of the mats and ground in sweat that permeated the air. She knew it shouldn’t be a soothing smell but to her it was.

Lincoln went to turn on the lights and Gus guided her over to a bench. She pulled her warm-up top off and laid in on the wood. Other than that she stayed in her pants and sports bra with her leo pulled around her waist. Gustus gestured for her hands and she held them out for him to wrap them.

“How bad will this be?” He asked but never lifted his eyes from slowly wrapping her wrists.

"Well I have officially violated my parole. They will probably have a warrant out by the end of the day." She said and flexed the hand he had just finished, getting used to the feel of the wraps between and around her fingers.

“What if you pay the restitution?” He asked as he started on her other hand.

“Wouldn’t make a difference now. They would get me for the parole violation either way.” She said and ran her hand over her hair that was still in her competition bun.

Gustus nodded solemnly and continued wrapping over her hand and between her fingers, “How much time will they give you?”

“I have no idea, but I doubt they will be lenient after this mess.” She sighed and rolled her wrists now that they were both wrapped tight.

Gustus patted her forearms and then gripped her shoulder, “Stay strong, Heda. You won’t be alone this time.”

She nodded and stood. Gustus motioned to the wall of jump ropes, “Get warmed up and I’ll get the pads.”

Lexa took one of the longer ropes and started a slow pace but soon started bouncing on the balls of her feet as fast as she could. The feel of the blood pumping through her veins harder and harder helped quiet the voices and buzzing in her head.

Gustus waved her over and held up the pads he had slipped on that covered his forearms. She lifted her hands and took her stance. She gave a few soft punches at first but soon was throwing her whole body into the strikes.

At first she was just going with the motions. Letting her body feel the impact of her fists against the pads. After that the buzz came back. The tension peaked in her chest and she fought it off with every smack of her fist to the pad. Even in her own head she was still running and hiding.

She took a step back and tried to catch her breath. It was as if there was a vice on her lungs keeping her from fully inhaling. She clenched her fists harder and stepped back in to engage Gus.

“Control your breathing. Time them with your punches.” Gustus’ voice was steady and she did her best to listen to him. She inhaled as she withdrew each punched and exhaled with every impact.

Her breathing slowly came back into rhythm and her punches picked up strength as she was able to put more effort behind them. She practiced against the pads for another twenty minutes until her body was dripping with sweat and her hands felt like lead weights at the end of her arms.

She collapsed onto the floor and let the ache thrum through her muscles. It felt good to just be still for a moment though she knew the ghosts that haunted her would be back eventually.

Lincoln sat down next to her, “So…what’s the plan? Go on the run? Completely off the grid…where you will survive off squirrels and cheap convenient store ramen? Maybe you could change your name? I’ve always thought Alycia would be a good fit for you.” He rambled on and she knew he was trying to make her laugh. He always had that ability when she was at her lowest. She didn’t have the breath for a laugh but she managed to turn her hand and grab his calf.

She took a few more deep breaths and managed to speak, “Sorry to disappoint, but I’m turning myself in.”

Lincoln froze, “What?”

“There is no point in fighting this, Lincoln. I am done running. Tomorrow, I’m going to the police station and I’m turning myself in.” She said and swallowed. Her chest was tightening back up and she could feel tears pricking at the corners of her eyes again. She clenched her sore fists and tried to blink them back. “I think I want to be alone right now though.”

“Linc! Leave her be.” Gustus said when he tried to persist. He squatted down and rested a hand on Lexa’s head, “You are welcome to stay here for the night. I’ll leave the lights on.”

He motioned to the doors and Lincoln grudgingly stood and walked out. Gustus looked down at her, “Remember…stay strong. Rest up, Heda. I feel you are going to need it.”

* * *

 

She laid there for what felt like hours. The pained twitching of her muscles slowed and eventually stopped. Her breathing calmed and her heart rated returned to normal. Her thoughts raged in her head though.

She thought of her mother and how abandoned she felt when she heard how her mother planned on leaving. Like half of her heart had been hollowed out.

She thought about that piece of scum, Wallace, and how she betrayed she felt. She had trusted him, let him close and he crushed her in return.

She thought about her father. She thought about how after everything she needed him more than she ever had in her life and he just checked out.

She thought about Kane and how yet again she had trusted someone and they crushed her for their own selfish gains.

She thought about Raven and Octavia. About how they had tried so hard to accept her and somehow she had failed them. She always failed the people who matter most to her.

She thought about herself and how no matter how hard she tried she never did anything good. Nothing she put effort into ever paid off, except gymnastics. That had been the one thing and she threw it all away.

Then she thought of golden hair, blue eyes, and softly spoken words.  _ If I have to trust your opinion, then you should trust mine. _

She wanted to believe those words. She had tried so hard but then everything came crashing down. She sat up and walked to the heavy bag hanging in the corner of the gym. She rested her hands against it and leaned on it with her forehead. She closed her eyes and images flashed behind her eyes. Her mother smiling and flirting with Wallace right in front of her. One punch. Wallace always smirking like he was getting away with murder, the bastard. Two punches. The muffled voice in the background while her mom giggled, just the thought made her sick. Three punches. Her parents fighting on the phone and hanging up before she could figure out why. Four punches. She let the anger, the sadness, the pain rip from her lungs in a scream as she hit the bag again and again. The sad look in her father’s eyes. He had known then but hadn’t told her. Now it is all so clear. Five more punches. Clarke. Clarke. Everything that was Clarke. Her smell. Her taste. Her voice. Lexa’s fists never stopped even as she felt the skin of her knuckles split and burn. The pain was a reminder of it all. She hated it all, except her. Except Clarke.

With that thought her legs gave out, the fatigue of it all overwhelming her. She hugged the bag to try and stay upright but she just slid down it. She sat on her knees and held the bag as she sobbed into the rough material. When her sobs finally ebbed she let her arms fall. She didn’t think she would be able to stand so she just knelt there in silence.

When she heard the door open she struggled to her feet uncertain of who could possibly be coming in at this hour. When she turned her eyes widened. Standing with his hands buried in his jacket was her father.

“Gus’ dad called me. Told me you would be here.” He said softly.

She just glared and tried to stand as straight as her exhausted body would let her.

“When…when your mom left I fell apart. You needed me and I failed you. You were right, I’m not a good dad. Haven’t been for awhile now. I am so sorry, Kiddo. I  _ will _ make it up to you. I don’t know how, or when, or if it’s even possible at this point. But I will find a way.” He took a few steps forward and tentatively reached for her shoulder, “I am not giving up again.”

Lexa’s shoulders shook but her voice was so soft it was barely a whisper, “I lost everything in the matter of a day. I lost my mother. I was betrayed by a man who I trusted. I lost all love for a sport I dedicated my life too. I lost…”

She cut herself off before saying her name.

Her father swallowed hard and nodded, “I know.”

“I couldn’t lose you too. You were all I had, but then I did. I was so lost and it was like you didn’t even care.” Lexa tried to pull away from his touch but he just pulled her into a hug.

“I always cared, I just got so wrapped up in my own pain I lost sight of what was most important in this situation…you.” His voice was quiet but full of more emotion than she had heard from him in over a year.

As his arms held her tight she felt something slip back into place. She felt like she could take a full breath for the first time since seeing her mother. Her arms felt too heavy to return the hug but she leaned her head into his shoulder. After a few minutes she stepped back and he let his arms drop.

Her hands twitched. Now that the adrenaline was fading she could feel the pain radiating from her bruised and battered knuckles. She could see the crimson coloring the white tape of her wrappings.

“The judge called me. She wants to see you in her office first thing in the morning.”

She nodded and noted the worried look on his face, “Don’t worry, Dad. I’m gonna do what it takes to make this right. I’m done running. For now, let’s go home.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this was so much angst but it gets everything set up for the future. Just letting everyone know I WILL NOT be posting Chapter 12 until Monday. I will see you guys then.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter Lexa sees the judge and gets a baffling message. Kane gets an ouchie and things take a fun turn.

Lexa swallowed hard as she stared at the door. Her father, Gustus, and Lincoln were all waiting in the reception area. She hadn’t wanted them to come but they didn’t give her much choice. She knew she was probably leaving this meeting in handcuffs, and if she was being honest she didn’t want to be alone when that happened.

She knocked and heard a simple, “Come in.”

She pushed through the door and saw the judge sitting at her desk. She was shuffling papers around and glanced down through reading glasses that sat at the very tip of her nose. She glanced up and stilled her hands, “Ms. Heda, please, have a seat.”

Lexa stepped forward and sat in the chair she motioned to. She kept her chin high but she could feel the slight tremor of fear in her hands.

The woman lifted her glasses off and passed a piece of paper to Lexa, “I’d like you to read the highlighted section for me please.”

She grabbed the letter and started reading aloud, “The gymnastics world, like the real world, can be an unforgiving place. It can be cruel and most of the time it attacks those that least deserve it. Lexa is an exceedingly strong, wise, and compassionate young woman. She deserves so much better than what life has deemed to give her. She deserves to wipe the slate clean and start over. She deserves that second chance. Sincerely, Marcus Kane.”

What was this? Kane had written a letter to the judge. Was this his way of making things right? She handed the letter back to the judge truly dumbfounded by what she just read.

The judge nodded and folded the letter neatly before setting it on her desk. She folded her hands and rested them against the wood. “That will be all. You can go.”

“Wait? What?”

She could have swore the judge just smirked though she may have just imagined it, “I said you can go.”

Lexa stuttered, “I’m…I’m not going to jail?”

The woman shook her head, “No, you are not.”

“But what about the restitution?”

“Taken care of.” She said.

Lexa stood but didn’t move from the room. Her mind couldn’t wrap around any of this. She was free to go when she fully expected to spend the next few years in jail just twenty minutes ago and now she is free. “I don’t know what to say.”

“Then don’t say anything.” The woman said but then held up a finger, “I do have one question before you go.”

Lexa nodded and the woman motioned to her hands. The knuckles were still raw and scattered with black and purple bruising. “What happened to your hands?”

Lexa gently flexed her hands, “I got a little carried away with a heavy bag last night.”

The woman nodded, “You have remarkable strength in you, Lexa. You are meant for greatness. Take this chance to achieve it.”

Lexa was still shocked by it all. She just didn’t understand why this judge cared. She had no reason to see her as anything but the delinquent she used to be, “But why?”

“The way I see it, the world’s best people usually end up with the shittiest draw. When we find each other we need to stick together and overcome.” The woman stood and even winked at Lexa.

“Thank you, Your Honor.” She said and turned to leave. She turned back when the woman spoke again.

“Please, call me Indra. Until we meet again.” She held a hand over the desk towards Lexa. She couldn’t help the smile that pulled at the corner of her lips as she took Indra’s hand.

* * *

 

She rubbed her fingers gently over the knuckles of her right hand. The feel of the split skin soothed her for some reason. Helped keep her mind centered on what she was here to do. She slipped her hands into the pockets of the jacket she was wearing and took the first step through the lobby of the KGA main gym.

The girls were going through warm ups so most didn’t notice her quiet entrance. She watched them and took a deep breath. She saw Kane watching the girls from a spot next to the warm-up tramp. She walked up next to him and when he turned his eyebrows raised slightly, but he didn’t seemed too surprised to see her.

“Lexa.” He crossed his arms and turned his attention back to the girls. She almost missed his next words, “You were right. I failed you, I didn’t think of how taking that money would affect you. I was going to use it for new equipment and repairs. I was selfish, and that caused you pain. That letter was the least I could do.”

“And the restitution?” Lexa said her jaw tight.

“I spent that extra money on something worthwhile…your second chance, Lexa.” He said and turned fully to her.

“Thank you, Marcus. I owe you my freedom.”

Kane shook his head, “No. This is my way of atoning, you owe me nothing.”

She nodded and when he turned back to look at the girls he chuckled, “You know all four of you qualified for championships. Even with your partial performance at the classic you still qualified. You are welcome to stay and give it shot.”

“Are you asking me to take you to championships?” She smirked and was taken by surprise when two people hugged her from behind. “What the…”

“Sorry! Sorry! No group hugs, forgot.” Raven was smiling and bouncing on the balls of her feet. Octavia looked a little ashamed, her eyes trained on her feet.

Lexa placed on hand on either of their shoulders, “It’s good to see you guys.”

“I’m…we’re sorry for what we said at the classic.” Octavia said but still wouldn’t look her in the eye.

Raven stepped forward, “Anya twisted everything around…made it sound like something it wasn’t…”

“It’s okay, guys. Doesn’t matter now…cause we have championships to train for. I think this one calls for a group hug.” Both girls looked up and smiled wide. Lexa let them come in and wrap their arms around her torso and chest. She wrapped one arm around each of them and pulled them closer.

Once they pulled apart Lexa turned to Kane, “I have made my decision.”

Kane smiled, “Oh have you?”

“I will go to championships if you get back on the tramp.” Kane used to be an elite gymnast himself till one day he blew his knee. He was never the same after that. He started the gym so he could still help others reach the heights he never got the chance to reach.

“Lexa…it's been years.”

“Well you want me to go to championships, don’t you? Just one layout. That’s all I’m asking.” Lexa smirked. Raven started a chant among the girls of ‘Kane! Kane! Kane!’

He just shook his head but then started pulling his shoes off. Everyone in the gym cheered aside from Anya who stood to the side with her arms crossed and an emotionless face.

He scrambled up on to the tramp and started bouncing to build up momentum. The cheering continued until he performed a successful layout.

“Woo! How about a full?!” Kane said his voice exuberant.

Lexa stepped up to the tramp, “Maybe you should call it a day while you're ahead, Kane.”

“Don’t worry, Heda. I’ve got this.” He threw a full but then his feet didn’t land quite right and he shot off the end of the tramp. He had too much momentum and went way over the crash pads hitting the floor with a crunch.

Lexa rushed forward, “Call 911.”

She knelt down next to the man and tried to figure out what he hurt. He was trying to stay as still as possible. His left arm was cradled to his chest and it was hanging wrong. “Hey, Marcus, looks dislocated. Just lay still, help will be here soon.”

She put a comforting hand on his chest and he gripped onto her hand, “Thank you, Lexa.”

* * *

 

The girls all stood outside as the ambulance drove away. They had help load Kane in and he was off to the ER with a dislocated shoulder and potentially broken collar bone.

Lexa felt like it was at least partially her fault, but did her best to shrug it off.

“That was insane! So, does this mean we get the rest of the day off?” Raven said leaning against the building.

“Ugh, I haven’t had a day off in ages. Lexa, what do you say?” Octavia asked and punched her shoulder playfully.

“Why are you asking me? I’m not in charge.” Lexa said and pulled her jacket off.

“Holy fuck! What happened to your hands?” Raven asked when she caught sight of the bruising.

Lexa just smirked and held up her right hand, which was a little worse off, “Why don’t you tell me, Reyes?”

She squinted her eyes and thought for a few moments before jumping up, “You are secretly part of an underground gymnastics fight club. When old gymnasts wash out they sometimes get serious anger issues. A no questions asked fight club started up. After the classic mamma needed to express some rage, your face is fine so obviously you kicked major ass.”

After telling the story in one breath she dramatically bowed. Lexa felt the need to clap but knew it would be far too painful. “That…actually isn’t too far off. Wrong, but not far off.”

“Aw, man, I felt really good about that one.” Raven said and scooted down to sit on the ground.

Octavia hesitantly reached for her hand, “Does it hurt?”

Lexa’s fingers twitched, “A little.”

She turned her head at the sound of tires against the parking lot. Her smile spread wide when Gustus pulled up and Lincoln jumped out of the bed. He picked her up in his signature bear hug. “Linc, down boy.”

“Hi, Lincoln,” Octavia asked and waved. Lexa almost fell on her ass when he dropped her like a hot potato.

“Shit, sorry, Lexa…my arms…um…slipped,” Lincoln stammered and helped steady her.

Gustus walked around and leaned against the pick up. His arms were crossed and Lexa swore he was smirking.

Suddenly Lexa had an idea. She turned to the girls, “Who’s up for a day on the town? We’ve got wheels and a day free of training…”

“I’m in.” Raven said and stood then looked down, “But I should probably change first.”

“I’m going too.” Octavia said and kissed Lincoln’s cheek before running inside after Raven. The rest of the girls trickled away still not entirely comfortable around Lexa.

Lincoln’s cheeks were tinted pink and his knees seemed a little unsteady underneath him. Lexa threw her arm over his shoulders and rubbed his clean shaved head, “You are like a smitten puppy. Don’t worry, I was just as bad once upon a time.”

She let him go and pushed away when Raven and O came through the door. “You three can ride in the cab, I’ll take the bed. Everyone clambered in and she hopped the side. She settled with her back against the cab and tapped the window to let Gus know she was settled and ready to go.

Just as the truck started pulling away another person jumped into the truck bed.

Anya settled in next to Lexa but didn’t make a move to look at her or speak.

“Lot of nerve. Just jumping in the bed of my friend’s pick up.” Lexa said.

“Thought it was an open invitation. I’ll stay out of your hair if you stay out of mine. I just needed to get out of there for a while. Figured I’d hitch the ride while it was available.” Anya clenched her fist and turned her head away.

Lexa took in a deep breath and worked her jaw, “You know Anya I never understood why you hated me. And I probably never will. I never hated you. I actually looked up to you when I first started at Wallace’s place. Needless to say that didn’t last long. Whatever you have against me, I’m sorry.”

Anya didn’t look back at her, only shifted uncomfortably.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter videos games are played and questions are asked and answered. Anya decides to settle things once and for all.

They ended up at the big shopping mall about an hour from the academy complex. Gustus' truck bumped over the speed bumps a little too hard and Lexa could hear the yelp and then laughs of the girls in the cab. When they pulled into a spot, Lexa jumped out and stretched her back, feeling several satisfying pops. She hadn't realized how uncomfortable the bed would be for such a long drive.

The others tumbled out of the cab and Raven immediately noticed Anya getting out of the bed.

“What the hell is she doing here?" She asked and Anya just shook her head and headed into the mall by herself.

Lexa followed her path with her eyes and just sighed, "I told her she could hitch a ride. She'll keep her distance though."

"She'd better," Octavia said and Lexa was slightly scared she may actually do something to the other girl from the look in her eye.

They headed inside and at first just wandered. Lincoln and Octavia were in the front with Raven and Lexa hanging back to give them some space. Gustus brought up the rear but didn't stray too far behind the group.

"So, Commander, what actually happened to your hands?" Raven asked quietly.

Lexa contemplated making up a story of her own but decided that Raven had earned the truth, "Gus' dad owns a boxing gym. I go there when, as you so eloquently put it, 'mamma needs to express some rage'. I got a little carried away with one of the heavy bags. They should be healed up in plenty of time for championships."

"Are you sure nothing is broken?" She asked eyeing the dark splotches with a raised eyebrow.

"Oh yeah, I know what that feels like. They are just bruised." Lexa answered offhandedly.

"Wait...you know what a broken hand feels like?" Raven asked and stopped walking for a moment. Lexa just turned and nodded before continuing on, "Guess if I ask how you know that, you aren't gonna give me a straight answer are you?"

"Nope." Lexa just kept her face forward.

"Figures," she stayed quiet for a moment but then seem to lock onto a new question in her head, "What is the story with these guys?"

Lexa looked over at her and shook her head. She was nothing if not persistent at getting through Lexa's walls.

“After worlds I found a lot of places to hide out from my dad. One of those places was this run down skate park. One day I had a big fight with Dad and I went to that skate park. Gus and Lincoln were there. They noticed I was upset and even when I told them to fuck off they wouldn’t leave me be. Been stuck with them ever since. Sounds kinda familiar, huh?” Lexa knocked into her shoulder.

Raven smirked picking up on Lexa’s not so subtle hint about how Raven hadn’t gone away either when Lexa shirked her attempts at friendship. “Maybe a little.”

Raven pointed ahead of them to Lincoln who was bashfully talking to Octavia, “So when is your boy gonna ask Octavia out?”

“From the looks of things I think she may ask him first.” Lexa joked.

“I can agree there,” Gustus chimed in and Raven jumped at his voice.

“Well, if he faints randomly we’ll know why.” Lexa laughed but then turned to Octavia who was jumping up and down excitedly.

“Guys! There is an arcade! Can we go? Pleeease?” Lexa just nodded and the girl grabbed Lincoln’s hand before taking off for the flashing lights.

“You’d think she had never been to a shopping mall before?” Lexa said amazed by the wonder in Octavia’s eyes and voice.

“Probably because she never has.” Raven said matter-of-factly.

“What? Why not?”

Raven seemed shocked at Lexa’s interested but shrugged and said, “Her brother is a real hard-ass about her training. Honestly, he is gonna be pissed when he hears she skipped out on training today.”

Lexa shook her head. “There is a difference between dedication and isolation. Having a life outside of gymnastics is just as important as pushing yourself in training. That way if you lose one you still have the other.”

“Alright, Yoda, come on. I am gonna kick your ass in DDR.” Raven said as she took off towards the arcade with Lexa and Gustus close behind.

* * *

 

Lexa did her best to keep up with the flashing arrows on the screen. The game was interrupted when Raven’s phone started ringing. She somehow managed to fish it out of her pocket while still hitting almost every dance step.

She glanced at the screen and jumped right off the machine. She put the phone to her ear, “Hey, what did they say?”

Lexa tried not to listen but her ears picked up some of the conversation anyway, “That’s good. How long in the sling? Not too bad then. Oh, Lexa, O, and I went to the mall. I know, Pop, but we have weeks till championships. It’s just one day. Someone pretty wise once told me that having a life outside of gymnastics is important too. Okay, Pop, rest up. I’ll see you later.”

Lexa was seriously confused but had an idea of how to answer at least a few questions, “So Kane didn’t break his collarbone?”

“No, just a dislocation thankfully.” Raven said quickly and then her eyes widened.

“So Pop, huh?” Lexa leaned in trying to keep the others from hearing, “Biological or adopted?”

Raven scrubbed a hand over her face and waved Lexa over to the skee ball game and pushed some quarters into it. She grabbed the first ball and weighed it in her hand, “I didn’t have a good home life as a kid. Mom was more concerned with dope than me…dad didn’t stick around to meet me. The only thing I really had was this little rink-a-dink gymnastics clinic at the local boys and girls club. It was basically an old beam that barely stayed together and a bunch of crash pads but god it made me feel alive.”

She passed Lexa the next ball and took a step to the side before continuing her story, “It made me feel worth something. Kane financed that clinic. One night Mom went to far. She OD’ed. I wasn’t home so by the time I got there…there was nothing to be done. I called 911 and ran. I had nowhere to go so I broke into the boys and girls club. Kane found me there, pulled some strings so I was fostered with him, and adopted me when I was 13. I’ve lived at KGA ever since.”

They finished the game and when Lexa reached for the tickets Raven grabbed her hand, “We don’t tell people cause I don’t want people to think he favored me, which, by the way, he doesn’t and never has. What I’m asking is can you keep this on the down low?”

Lexa looked Raven in the eye and nodded, “He’s a good man. You are lucky to have him. I won’t say anything, Raven.”

“Thanks, Commander. Now let’s trade in these tickets for something sweet.” Raven turned and Lexa realized she wasn’t the only one who had been through tough times. Raven’s story made hers sound like a cakewalk, but Raven still found a way to go on. Then so could she…maybe she already had.

* * *

 

They were walking through the main atrium after the arcade and Raven was bouncing the rubber ball they had bought with their tickets.

“I’m thinking it’s time to visit the food court,” Lincoln said as he walked backwards to face everyone.

The group assented and soon they were standing in the crowded cafe area. Lexa wasn’t feeling hungry so she simply ordered coffee and sat at a small table watching her friends eat and talk. She had made a good decision in letting these people in. They were her reason to stop running. This was her second chance and she wouldn’t let anything fuck it up this time.

She turned her head when someone dragged a chair up to sit next to her. Anya straddled the chair but didn’t say anything. She could play the waiting game but she felt like moving this along, “Having a fun day out?”

“Thought we agreed to not to get in each others hair,” She said in a monotone voice.

Lexa took a long sip of her coffee, “You’re the one you sat next to me. You crossed the line first, I was just making friendly conversation.”

Anya turned to her sharply, “We are not friends.”

“I am well aware of that, Anya.”

“You were so damn good.” Anya’s grip on the chair tightened. Lexa just raised an eyebrow and waited, “I was the golden goose…the one everyone was talking about…favorite for everything. Then you came around and no one looked at me twice after that.” She took in a deep breath and let it out slowly.

“I couldn’t even blame them, you have so much talent. I could train every hour of every day and I’d never get close to you. That made me so angry…at myself…at you. Then when you made the world team I thought, if anyone was going to overshadow me at least it was you. Then you just walked away. I had never been more pissed in my life.” Lexa could see the anger building and was worried she was going to do something but after a few more deep breaths she just continued talking, “I kept telling myself that I would never do that, but I really don’t know do I. What…what I’m trying to say is…”

Anya was stumbling over words but she eventually calmed, “I never hated you. You just really pissed me off and I don’t handle anger well.”

Lexa turned more directly to her, “Why tell me all this? Why the change of heart if I piss you off so much?”

“I’ve seen you train. No one puts their body through that if this sport wasn’t important to them. You have enough talent you could slack and still achieve things I couldn’t, but you train just as hard, give just as much. That shows remarkable character and spirit.” Anya turned to her then and she had never seen the woman look so genuine, “I’m not asking to know why, because it’s not important. I just know you wouldn’t have walked away without a damn good reason. The way I see it you have been through some serious shit. Figured I should stop adding to it because of my own anger issues.”

Lexa nodded. She was more than a little surprised by all of this. She had never heard Anya talk this much in the years she had known her. “Well, I propose we redact what you said earlier.” She extended her hand to the woman, “Friends?”

Anya looked at her hand for a few moments before grasping it firmly, “Friends.”

Lexa leaned back and drank the last bit of her coffee. She continued to fiddle with her cup and Anya sat in silence watching the other four eat.

“So…you and Griffin, huh?”

Lexa crushed her cup and snapped her head to the blonde, “What?!”

“What was going on between you two? I don’t care if it was part of the reason you walked out, but I’m not blind. Anyone watching could see the gooey looks you two were throwing at each other. It was kind of nauseating to be completely honest.”

Lexa gritted her teeth and swallowed down the pain in her chest, “Worlds wasn’t the only thing I walked away from.”

“Touchy subject, got it, Commander.” Anya looked back at the group and saw they were now trying to throw pieces of fries into each others mouths, “Come on let’s round up these idiots before they get us kicked out of here.”

“Let them be. They’re celebrating.” Lexa said and smiled at her friends.

“They both have a lot of talent, Blake especially, though I feel she’d have to get away from her brother to fully realize that potential.” Anya said and Lexa caught onto the second mention of Octavia’s brother that day.

“Raven mentioned her brother being a hard-ass, is it more than that?” Lexa could feel her protective streak coming out.

“From what I know he seems to be a decent guy, just overbearing and micromanages her career. She has been to six different gyms in two years. Whenever someone says or does something he doesn’t like he packs her up moves to the next.”

“He is gonna run out of gyms eventually.”

Anya nods, “Yep, and the gymnastics world isn’t one where you can burn the bridges as you cross them. You would know all about that, huh?”

“Oh, have we reached the phase where we can jokingly talk about sordid and unpleasant past?”

Anya actually laughed before punching her shoulder, “Shut the fuck up!”

Lexa gripped her shoulder, “I think this is the start of a beautiful friendship.”

Anya pulled her hand off but smirked at her. Maybe she wasn’t that far off the mark with her last statement.

* * *

 

Everyone was laughing when they pulled into the lot at KGA. Lexa watched as the girls said their goodbyes.

She watched as Octavia gave Lincoln a kiss on the cheek before heading inside with Raven. She was leaning against the truck and shared a smirk with Gustus. When Lincoln reached them his cheeks were red and he looked weak in the knees.

“So you asked her out?” Lexa asked and smiled at Lincoln.

“Yeah, how’d you know?” He asked and swallowed hard.

She shrugged and said matter-of-factly, “You look like you are about to faint or vomit.”

She waited for him to say how she responded but he seemed too dumbstruck still, “So…did she say yes?”

“Oh, yeah, we’re going to dinner next week on yall’s off day…or light day…or whatever.” Lincoln stuttered out.

Lexa gave him a hug, “I’m happy for you. A guy with a heart as big as yours deserves this. Deserves happiness.”

“Lexa you deserve happiness too.” Lincoln said.

Lexa worked her jaw feeling the usual ache, “Sorry but I’m pretty sure I shot that horse in the face.”

Lincoln tried to make a joke, “Well maybe you have terrible aim.”

Lexa just chuckled. Maybe he was right, maybe all wasn’t lost. Her happiness could be out there somewhere, but her heart still pictured blue eyes and blonde hair.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter Octavia has a date, her brother is an ass, and Lexa is scared of seeing a certain someone again.  
> Also, sometimes hating someone you used to love is the easiest thing.

The girls were walking down the hall. Octavia was trying to figure out what to wear for her date in a few days and Raven was at no loss for recommendations.

“Are you going for sexy or flirty? Or are you going for an evolving motif of flirty then sexy?” She asked and Octavia’s eyes widened. She turned to Lexa and grabbed her arm.

“What do you think I should do? He is one of your best friends.” Lexa just looked at her and shook her head.

“He asked you out cause he likes you. Go flirty but still you. Plus if you went sexy I think he might have an aneurysm so…” Lexa trailed off as they rounded the corner and she saw a new face. Octavia froze.

“Bellamy?” She said and took a step closer to the man and he hugged her. All of the liveliness she had drained. Lexa felt her back stiffen. So this was the brother she had been hearing about.

“O, what are you doing? Don’t you have training right now?” He asked as he held her at arm's length.

“We are heading that way now,” Octavia said and shrugged his hands off.

His eyes scanned over the girls and they narrowed as they landed on Lexa. She crossed her arms and held his gaze. He pointed a finger at her, “I know your face. Lexa Heda, national gymnastics pariah. Heard you were back in the limelight. Octavia you really need to keep better company.”

Octavia gritted her teeth but kept her eyes on her feet. She jumped and fished the cell phone out of the waistband of her spandex. Lexa had given it to her so she could keep in touch with Lincoln since she didn’t have anyone to really talk too outside of the gym. O flipped the phone open and smiled. It was the kind of smile that was reflex, Lexa didn’t miss the frown on Bellamy’s face. He grabbed the phone from her, “Where did you get this? Who is Lincoln?”

Octavia reached for the phone but Bellamy held it out of her reach. She balled her fists and looked at him angrily, “The phone is Lexa’s, she gave it to me so I could talk to Lincoln. He is friend of hers. We met when the girls and I went to the mall last week. Kane got hurt so we took a day to relax before really hitting it hard for championships. Lincoln asked me out and we are going to dinner Friday.”

Bellamy’s hand tighten on the phone, “You don’t have time for things like this. You are here to train. For championships, then worlds, then the Olympics. You are not here to socialize.”

He pulled his arm back to throw the phone but Lexa got there in time to catch his arm, “I wouldn’t do that. Kane’s not a fan of violence in his gym.”

“Let go of me. I need to have a talk with Kane.”

A stern voice sounded behind Lexa as a hand rested softly on her tense shoulder, “I’m right here, Mr. Blake.”

Marcus stepped around Lexa putting himself in between the two. He wrapped his good arm around Lexa’s wrist and she let go but the tension was still thick. Bellamy turned on Kane.

“What kind of gym are you running? My sister missed an entire day of training only a month from championships. No wonder people said I was crazy to bring her here. O, go pack your bags. I’m getting you away from this has-been.” Bellamy said turning to her and grabbed her arm but O pulled away.

“You can’t. I only have a few weeks before championships. Where am I gonna train? Who is gonna train me?” She said and Bellamy grabbed her arm. She let him pull her to the side of the group.

His voice was a harsh whisper, “I am getting you out of here whether you like it or not. You are here to be the best and that isn’t possible under this kind of coaching. You are not here to become some notch in a guy’s bed post.”

“Lincoln’s not like that. You don’t even know him!” Octavia wasn’t trying to cover her voice.

“I don’t need to. Octavia…Mom wouldn’t have wanted this. She wanted you to be the best you could be. I’m just trying to help you do that.”

“No, you don’t get to do that!”

“What are you talking about, O?” Bellamy said his eyes hurt and angry.

“You do this every time! Anytime I, or anyone around me does the smallest thing you disagree with you pull the ‘mom’ card. ‘Mom didn’t want that’ or ‘she would’ve wanted this’, but guess what Bell? Mom didn’t care about gymnastics or my career. She wanted me to be happy. And I am happy, here with my friends and with my coach. I could be happy with Lincoln too, but you have to get out of the way. I’m not leaving.” Octavia stood tall and Lexa wanted to applaud. She may be new at being a friend to the girl but she could feel how important this moment was.

"You don't have a choice, O." Bellamy said.

Kane stepped up and placed a hand on Octavia's shoulder, "Actually she does. Octavia is eighteen so you have no legal guardianship over her anymore. If she wants to stay here she is welcome for as long as she wants."

Bellamy moved forward and got right in Kane's face, "You have no right to..."

Kane lifted a hand to his chest and pushed him back a step, "Don't make me call security, Bellamy, because I will...or I could just step out of Miss Heda's way. I'm sure she could find a way to get you off the premises, though I couldn't say in what condition you'd end up. Your choice."

He started to stand his ground but then sighed and deflated. He walked away with huff and everyone in the group let out a sigh of relief.

Octavia turned and hugged Kane, "Thank you. For everything."

Kane just nodded and waved everyone off to start that day's training but Lexa stayed behind. They stood on the balcony that overlooked the gym.

"If I didn't know any better I'd say that all sounded pretty rehearsed, aside from the last part." She leaned her elbows against the railing.

Kane ran a hand over the fabric of his sling as he talked. "A friend called me after Bellamy pulled his antics at their gym to warn me. I decided to be prepared. There is a difference between caring and controlling. Bellamy crossed that line a long time ago but no one called him on it."

"Till now." Lexa was looking at Kane with a new admiration. "You're a good man, Marcus. To me that means so much more than being the best coach out there."

She caught the movement and watched Kane wipe at his eyes and clear his throat. She pushed his good arm, "Are you getting emotional on me?"

"I've never had four girls qualify ever..." His voice cracked on the last word and Lexa put a hand on his back.

"Then we'll make sure it is a showing to remember."

* * *

 

Lexa was sitting on the couch in the boarding house when she heard Lincoln's motorcycle pulled up outside. She had the book with Clarke's notes slipped in between the pages in her lap. She had been reading them a lot over the past few days. She found herself thinking about Clarke more and more as well. It was like her heart knew she would be seeing her again. She could remember every little thing like it happened yesterday and it still hurt just as much as the day she walked away. It amazed her that even after more than a year she still felt the sharp agony of cutting her own heart out. She closed the book and set it next to her when Octavia walked in. She had a soft blush and her smile was bright than she had seen before.

"Went that well, huh?"

O jumped, "Lexa, what are you doing up? It's after midnight."

Lexa stretched her arms over her head, "Couldn't sleep, figured I'd do some reading and wait up for you."

Octavia sat down next to her and tilted her head with a questioning look, "Aren't you nervous, Lexa?"

"For what...championships? Nerves don't usually set in till the day of and then I just push through them." She said.

"You are gonna be seeing a lot of old familiar faces. Are you worried about seeing old teammates?" She asked.

Lexa thought about it and aside from Clarke she really hadn't considered seeing any of her other teammates, "Well I already got soda thrown on me, I feel like I can handle anything else. And I know I'm not going in alone."

"What about Griffin?"

Lexa froze and turned her head slowly to Octavia. Had she figured it out like Anya. Octavia's eyes were purely curious, not smug like Anya's. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes, "Have you ever had that feeling that you would give anything to see someone but at the same time you are absolutely terrified of seeing that person again?"

“Yeah, I do. That is how I feel about my brother,” Lexa just arched her brow at her before she continued, “I mean he’s my brother and I love him. He was there for me when no one else was but then somehow that turned into he was the only one  _ allowed  _ to be there for me. I was scared because I never knew what he was gonna do or say. I never knew when he was gonna show up, pack my things, and move me to the next place. Most times I didn’t even get to say goodbye. So, yeah, I understand the feeling. It’s weird…it sucks, but feelings are important so I don’t hide from it.”

Lexa’s hands tightened on her book. Maybe her next step was to stop hiding and let someone in…let Octavia in. “We were roommates…at the training camp for worlds.”

“I didn’t know that.”

“Doubt anyone did. I have never been that close and open with anyone in my life. Sometimes it felt like she knew me better than I knew myself. Honestly when she sees me again I wouldn’t be surprised if she tries to break my nose.” Lexa laughed remembering the story Clarke had told her once.

Octavia frowned, “Do you really think she would do that?”

“I don’t know. If she did, I’d let her. I deserve it, that and much more.”

Octavia grabbed her hand until Lexa looked at her, “That’s not true. You don’t deserve that. You are a good person, Lexa. You care when you don’t have to. You don’t deserve pain. You don’t deserve suffering.”

Lexa bit her lip and swallowed hard, “You know I would usually agree without a second thought but she is the exception. Out of everyone involved in the cluster fuck of my life she is the one person that I deserve to have hate me.”

Octavia sat for a minute but then she gripped Lexa’s shoulder, “You were there for me. You didn’t have to be but you were. It gave me the strength to stand up to my brother like I never have before. I’m gonna return the favor. When we get to championships I’ve got your back. So if you need strength or anything, I’ll be there.”

Lexa swallowed down tears but smiled, “Thank you, O. Umm…I’m gonna go to bed, you should too. We have a heavy day tomorrow.”

“I will in a moment. Goodnight, Lexa.”

As Octavia watched her go she frowned. She had been doing her best to figure out what had happened. At first it had been to try and help her best friend get over it all but then she met Lexa and got to know her. That changed things because now she had a part of the puzzle she had always been missing but she still needed more to fully understand. When Lexa was talking she noticed the way her eyes looked so broken and lost, Octavia had seen it before. In the blue eyes of her best friend right after worlds.

* * *

 

“ _ No, Octavia, it just doesn’t make sense. She wouldn’t do this.” Clarke said pacing in front of her long time friend. _

“ _ But she did, Clarke, why do you keep driving yourself crazy trying to figure it out? The pressure was high and she just broke. It happens.” Octavia had heard this whole thing several times since the blonde returned from Worlds. She would be lying if she said she wasn’t getting a little tired of it. _

_ Clarke shook her head and ran her hands through her hair for the hundredth time. “Not Lexa, she was the strongest person I’ve ever met. She was so excited about Worlds. She was the one pushing me through extra workouts and runs. She wouldn’t just quit, not like this.” _

_ She could feel tears threatening to fall and she hated them. She took a deep breath and forced them away. _

“ _ Clarke, you need to quit beating this dead horse. She walked out and now it is done. Let it go and move on with your life.” Octavia was tired of sugar-coating this. _

“ _ It’s just that…” She couldn’t even say it. O didn’t understand that Lexa wasn’t just her teammate. She didn’t just walk out on Worlds. She walked out on her. On them. On what could have been. There was no way that O could know, and she desperately wanted to tell her. She didn’t see the point now. _

_ She pressed the heels of her palms into her eyes and tried to ignore the wetness that was there when she pulled them away. Something her dad told her came back to her mind. The opposite of love isn’t hate, but indifference. No matter how she tried she couldn’t be indifferent to Lexa. She made the choice to do the one thing she could stand. _

“ _ You know what? You’re right, she walked out on Worlds. She walked out on me…and the team. She doesn’t deserve the effort.” _

_ She couldn’t love her after everything that had happened, but she could hate her. To save her heart from anymore pain she swore to hate Lexa, but she wasn’t sure if that was even possible. _

* * *

 

Octavia walked down the sidewalk and picked up her pace when she saw the blonde sitting at the table outside a cafe. She stood and wrapped her arms around the brunette.

“Octavia, I’ve missed you.”

“You too, Clarke.”

They sat down and Clarke took a long drink of her coffee. “So I heard about what happened with Bellamy. I’m sorry. You don’t deserve to be treated that way.”

“Don’t worry I’m fine I had Kane there and…my friends at the gym. Kane is letting me stay there at no cost.” Octavia ordered a sandwich and put her menu down.

“He is one of the good ones.”

Octavia picked at her fingernail and zoned out trying to figure out how to bring up Lexa. She needed to figure out why Clarke was so angry but that meant poking a sleeping dragon, which usually meant getting burnt.

“O, what’s up? I can tell something is bugging you.”

_ Well might as well go for the band aid approach.  _ “You know she started training at KGA. She qualified for championships. She’ll be there in person, Clarke.”

Octavia saw the change immediately. Her brow furrowed and her jaw clenched, “Octavia…”

She cut Clarke off, “Yeah, I know…you don’t want to talk about it. But that is what doesn’t make sense to me, Clarke. For two months after worlds you talked about nothing but Lexa then it was like you just flipped a switch. I thought you put it behind you. Let it go so you could move on, but I was wrong. Now you just don’t talk about it, until one day you can’t hold it in and you blow up and it’s nothing but anger and venom. You have never been a hateful person Clarke.”

“You just don’t understand, O,” Clarke said trying to reach for her hand.

“Of course I don’t! You won’t talk to me. If you did maybe I could help but right now I’m flying blind. If you would just tell me why you don’t want to…”

“I don’t want to talk about it because it  _ hurts  _ too much! That’s why , O.” Clarke had tears pooling at the corners of her eyes, “All that matters right now is I am going to championships to insure my spot at worlds. Nothing she says or does is gonna change that or the fact that I  _ hate _ Lexa Heda.”

Octavia saw the tear roll down Clarke’s cheek and she knew. It made sense now. Lexa broke Clarke’s heart and her own in the process. The only question she had now was: Why?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah so take that Baloney. Honestly I don't have a problem with Bellamy I typically write him as a great brother (see Familyverse), but this fit too well to get Lexa and Octavia to bond.  
> Octavia figured some stuff out huh? But what exactly is the why...hmmmmm?  
> And for those of you asking for it Clarke is back kind of and I'm sorry. Hope you guys enjoyed this...See you Monday.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter the girls arrive at championships, Lexa's apologies fall on deaf ears and people always ask the worst questions.  
> Also the pain from the past has a way of never really going away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go!!! Sorry this is so late but I had a hell of a day. Championships have beguuuunn!!! Also anyone who reads my Familyverse the second part of Happy Holidays will be up in the next few days. Have fun guys!!

Lexa dropped her sea bag on the floor and took off her back pack. Anya had face-planted on her bed the moment she reached it. Lexa was actually a little concerned that she was gonna smother herself.

“Roll over before you suffocate,” She said when she poked the blonde with her foot.

Anya just grumbled but did turn her head. They had the night to relax before the all around tomorrow. Kane had only booked three rooms so the girls split between two of them. Lexa expected that once O and Raven had showered off the van smell they’d lay siege on her room. They had talked about a movie night to keep the nerves from setting in so they could sleep well.

“I’m taking a shower so if you need to pee, now is the time.” Lexa said as she pulled out some soft pajama pants and a tank top.

Anya groaned and rolled off the bed. She trudged to the bathroom and kicked the door shut. Lexa hung her coat on the chair and stretched. Her back popped and she sighed. She should probably go for a run in the hotel gym before tucking in, but the idea of spending time with O and Raven just sounded better. When had she changed so much?

She heard the shower start up and her jaw dropped. She pounded on the door, “What the fuck? I told you I was gonna shower!”

She heard muffled words so she opened the door and stepped in.

“I’m already wet and naked so unless you are joining me get the fuck out.” Anya said through the curtain.

“For a friend you sure are an asshole.” Lexa said before stepping forward and flipping the faucet on. “Enjoy your shower.”

“You bitch!” That was all she heard before closing the door and walking back into the room.  _ Guess I’m going for a run after all. _

She pulled her shirt over her head and stepped into a pair of spandex shorts. She slung her sneakers over her shoulders, grabbed her phone and headphones, and grabbed the key card from the envelope on the dresser. She pushed it into her waistband and left the room.

The gym was empty so she had her run of the place. She sat on the end of the treadmill to tie on her shoes. She clicked the play button on her phone and the starting notes of  _ Only the Young _ flowed into her ears. She stepped up to the standing pull-up bar and jumped to grab it. She lost herself in the music and before long she was sweating and breathing hard. If she was honest she was trying to distract her mind. One way or another she was seeing Clarke tomorrow and the prospect truly terrified her.

When she walked into the room Anya was out of the shower and watching TV from her bed. She stripped down in the bathroom and turned the shower on cold.

She toweled down and pulled on her comfortable clothes. Her body ached but it helped her mind focus on other things. She sat cross legged on her bed and pulled her book from her bag. She didn’t open it just ran her hand over the cover. She jumped out of her thoughts when the door to the room swung open.

Raven and Octavia came running in and Anya held up a hand, “I swear if either one of you hyper squirrels touch me or my bed, they will never even find the pieces of you. Understood?”

Raven and O both nodded and looked at Lexa, “My bed still has plenty of room and it comes with no death threats.”

The girls squealed and jumped on the bed and Lexa. She laughed and lift her arms to hug the girls back. She was getting used to this touchy feely friend thing. “So what movies are we watching tonight?”

Octavia opened up her laptop and set it on Lexa’s lap, “The entire Bring It On! Series…or as many as we can.”

Lexa just shook her head and slumped into her pillows.

* * *

 

Lexa woke up when Anya flipped on the bathroom light. It was enough ambient light to keep her awake. She sat up and rubbed her eyes. Her body felt ready and rested, but her mind was a mess. She had dreams all night. Some good. Some bad. It was time to put on the commander facade. She wouldn’t get through the day without it.

She stood slowly and ran her hands over everything she had laid out the day before. Every piece was like a piece of armor. Her walls went up and she felt protected. She felt safe. She zipped up her warm-up top and looked at her bag. She took one last deep breath and pushed everything down. The mask was up so it was time for battle.

“Ready, Commander?”

Lexa simply nodded and slung her bag onto her back.

The drive to the venue was quick. Her grip on her bag tightened. There was a lot of people milling about and she could feel the anxiety crawling just under her skin. She relaxed when a hand touched her back. Anya wasn’t looking at her but she was there. They were all there for her. She took a deep breath and took the next step forward.

Twenty minutes later they were being put into line for the intro march. Lexa hated all these formalities but it was just part of the game. Her and the other KGA girls were near the front of the line. The official at the beginning of the line waved them forward and she froze. Clarke would be somewhere in this line. If she was going to talk to her now was better than later.

“You guys go ahead.” She said and stepped out of the line.

O stepped out with her and scanned her eyes back to the line and then back to Lexa’s face, “Are you sure about this? It isn’t gonna be pretty.”

The way she said it made it seem like she knew that for a fact. Lexa just swallowed, “I have to. Go on, I’ll meet up with you after the parade.”

She stood facing the arena and clenched her fists. She knew she had to turn around to see Clarke, but part of her body wouldn’t listen to her. She finally managed to turn and her eyes immediately found blonde hair. She was the last athlete in the parade. Lexa had to fight her jaw from dropping when she had her first full look at Clarke in over a year. Her memories didn’t do the woman justice.

Her hair was braided back in a crown and one long braid in the back. Lexa herself had helped her braid her hair just like that multiple times. She still remembered the feeling of her hair between her fingers. She had her head held high and walked with purpose. Lexa couldn’t take her eyes off her.

When Clarke noticed her, her steps faltered but soon she looked away. Her pace quickened and Lexa could see the flex of her jaw as she passed her. For a moment she considered just letting go but being this close she just had to say…something.

“Clarke…” Her heart jumped when the blonde paused. After a moment she turned and Lexa almost let her mask drop. She could see the hurt and the anger in her eyes, but that life and spark was still there. They just stared for a moment then Lexa took a step forward, “I just wanted to say I was sorry. I had no intention of ruining your shot at worlds. Everything was falling apart and I didn…I didn’t know what else to do.”

Her voice cracked during the last sentence so she paused to take a deep breath. “I left you a note.”

Clarke held up a hand. Her eyes were like ice when they met Lexa’s, “I got your note and the message was loud and clear. Now I have a message for you; stay away from me.”

With that she turned and walked away. Lexa stared at her back and let out a breath. Her commander persona was slipping but she pulled it back up. She couldn’t let herself feel this, not now.

Lexa went back to the girls and they all started warming up.

* * *

 

After a long day of competition the numbers showed the winners. Clarke Griffin had won the all around. Lexa Heda came out with the bronze and that also qualified her for all of the event finals the next day.

Clarke was packing up her gear when she saw the announcer and his camera coming up to the bench. She did not want to do this right now. She didn’t want to smile and act like everything was okay. She had never had a more miserable day. Everywhere she turned Lexa was there, or more like the Commander was there.

Every time she saw her she had that mask covering up what she knew was underneath. A blinding smile and a laugh she still couldn’t forget. When she had seen her standing there, waiting for her, it had taken her breath away. She tried to just walk past but when she heard her name she froze. Lexa had a way of saying her name that no one else did.

She wanted more than anything to turn around and see the girl she fell in love with, but all she saw was the mask. She heard her words but they fell flat until her voice broke. The mask start to fall until she collected herself. Her anger boiled over and she lashed out. Now she has to talk to a reporter and act like she is happy she won, when she could really care less.

“Ms. Griffin that was quite the showing out there today. So I have to say we all are wondering how it was competing with Lexa Heda again? After worlds things must be tense there.” He asked and then moved the microphone towards her.

“It was just great. She is an amazing competitor and it was great to compete beside her again.” She said and did her best to smile.

She pushed past him and into the hallway under the bleachers. She could feel the tears welling over. It was just like worlds all over again. The pain ripping through her like a hot iron.

* * *

 

_ Clarke hit the final move of her routine and stopped just as the music did. She was breathing hard but she had never been happier. All they needed was Lexa to stick her routine and the gold was theirs. _

_ She walked off the platform and she expected to see Lexa getting ready to go up after her but she wasn’t there. The coach handed her the warm-up top and she pulled it on. Her head swiveled up and she searched for those green eyes. She smiled so wide when she saw them, but then she noticed where Lexa was and that she was still in her warm-ups. Her face was sad and then she turned away. Clarke didn’t understand what she was seeing. Why was she leaving? _

_ She turned back to the bench and the others teammates were freaking out. She jogged over to them but didn’t say anything or ask what was going on because the moment she saw her bag she saw the small piece of paper sticking from the zipper. She grabbed it and nearly ripped it in half trying to unfold it: _

 

_ I’m sorry. I just can’t do this, Clarke. Forgive me. _

_ \- Lexa _

 

_ She couldn’t believe this. There was no way Lexa would do this. She looked back to where she had seen the girl but she was long gone. She tried to hold back her tears but they were already flowing down her cheeks. A choked sob escaped and she involuntarily crumpled the note. She wanted to be strong but her heart was gutted. She never got the chance to tell her she loved her and now she was just gone. _


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter Kane gets in someones face, the girls have a talk, and O has a fashion faux pas that triggers something else entirely.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys been a crazy couple days. Also pay attention to the end note at the end of this chapters cause I have two important things to let you guys know.

The hotel restaurant was buzzing with activity. Almost all of the judges and coaches from the tournament were there. The classy hotel always held a dinner of sorts after the first day of competition. Most people showed but it was usually more for show. Gymnastics was all about appearances most of the time. Marcus Kane was well aware of that, which is why he was sitting at the bar watching judges mingling about.

Truth be told Kane hated these things. A bunch of people putting on faces and pretending. He could see how someone ended up with the cynical view Lexa did. He took a long draw from the scotch in his glass.

“Enjoying your night?” He smiled as he turned to look at the dark-skinned woman who slid on to the stool next to him.

“Depends on your definition, Indra,” He said and she ordered a soda.

“Touche.”

Kane smiled again, “Did you enjoy your first gymnastics meet today?”

“I did. The girls did well from what I could tell.” She said and sipped at her drink.

Kane nodded, “They did. All four qualified for at least one of the event finals tomorrow. You’ll be there, right?”

“Yes, I will.”

“Does Lexa know you’re here?” He asked. The judge had emailed him requesting the time and place of championships. He hadn’t been too surprised by the question. The judge seemed to take a personal interest in Lexa after everything with the trial and what happened at the classic. He was happy to see she could make it out.

“No, I’m more of a silent supporter. I wanted to see how she was adjusting after the classic. She seems focused.” Indra said and looked at Kane.

“Yeah, she was in Commander mode. It’s what the girls call it. You could call it her game face.” Kane explained.

“It was entertaining to see though, I have some questions about how the judges score things. There were girls who pulled off flips that were downright remarkable but it didn’t seem to be reflected in their scores, while at the same time there were routines that were somewhat lacking that received higher scores.” Indra was leaning over the bar clearly intrigued but also trying to be discreet.

“Sadly, the rules tend to reward safe conformity, while ingenuity can be dangerous therefore it’s not encouraged.” Kane said rubbing the back of his neck.

“Doesn’t sound like a very good system to me,” Indra said matter-of-factly.

“You and Lexa can agree on that,” Kane laughed.

Indra took a long drink and turned to Kane, “She is a smart girl.”

“Marcus Kane…” Kane felt his shoulders immediately tense at the sound of that voice. He knew it all too well.

“What do you want, Wallace?” He turned to see the greasy haired man leaning against the bar.

Wallace just smirked, “Can’t I just come by to check on a friend?”

“We are not friends,” He said and gritted his teeth.

"Fine. So, Lexa...quite a handful isn't she?" Wallace sneered and Kane had to hold himself back from wiping that look off his face.

"You have no right to talk about her." He stood from his stool and glared at the man.

Wallace looked offended then took a step forward, " No right? I'm the only one with any right. I made her. She was training at some two bit community gym when I found her. Make no mistake I'm the reason she is here."

If it hadn't been for Indra's hand on his shoulder Kane would have hit him but he took a deep breath, "I am certain that if you hadn't 'found' her, Lexa would have found a way to be here. She is here in spite of you and what you did. You didn't make her, Cage, you almost ruined her. If I didn't have Lexa and three other girls competing tomorrow I'd lay you out for even thinking you had anything to do with her."

Cage took another step forward and clenched his fist but Kane gripped the front of his shirt and shook, "As I said, I have girls competing tomorrow and unlike you I think about my girls before doing something stupid that may hurt them. So I'm gonna let go and we are gonna go our separate ways, but tomorrow after competition I will have no reason to hold back. It would be in your best interest to steer clear of me and my girls around that time."

He held Cage's eye for a moment before releasing him and stepping away.

* * *

 

"I'm just saying that the rules are antiquated at best and are in dire need of update. Even people watching at home can see the unfair nature of the current system." Lexa said as they sat and watched the highlights from the day. A lot of calls had been made that were questionable at best.

Anya spoke up then, "But those are just the rules, if you don't like them then change how you play until they work in your favor instead of against you."

Lexa took a bite of one of the candy bars they had gotten from a snack raid on the vending machines. "See I have to disagree with part of that. Yes to a degree you must adjust your strategy so the rules help rather than hinder, but some of the rules are so bias to a point that nothing you do in preparation can really benefit. There is too much luck to the system. I say that makes it inherently flawed."

Anya nodded along as she spoke but just shrugged when she was done before slouching against the headboard of her bed, "Agree to disagree then. If you think rules are unfair then maybe you just need to up your game."

Lexa chuckled but let the discussion drop. Her eyes scanned the room and noticed the ice she had gotten the night before was not only melted but probably room temperature at this point.

"I'm making an ice run, any one wanna come with?"

Octavia jumped up, "I'll go."

Lexa smiled and walked out leaving the door propped open behind her. Octavia walked next to her and Lexa noticed how quiet and distracted she was. She decided it was time to find out what was on her mind.

“What’s up, O? You been kinda weird all day.” Lexa asked and turned her head to see the brunette take a deep breath.

“There is something I need to tell you, Lexa.” She took another deep breath and let it out slowly, “Clarke is my best friend.”

Lexa looked at her but didn’t show any emotion. Octavia jumped to explain, “We grew up as neighbors. Our moms were really close and when Clarke started gymnastics I did too.”

Lexa nodded, “Now that you mention it, I already knew. She mentioned you once. No details, just your name. Slipped my mind till just now.”

Lexa turned into the small alcove that held the ice machine. O leaned against the far wall, “You aren’t mad at me?”

The sound of the ice machine filled the small space so Lexa step closer to her, “Octavia, you are one of the two people who treated me with any decency when I first got to KGA. With your insider information you could have treated me the worst but you didn’t. I don’t care if you had other motives going in, you turned out to be genuine in the end. That is all that matters to me.”

Octavia smiles and leans into Lexa’s shoulder as they carry the ice back down the hall. “You know it never made sense to me. Why Clarke couldn’t just let it go, get over worlds, and move on with her life? Now I know it isn’t worlds she can’t move on from; it’s you.”

Lexa just looked at her. Octavia was proving to be very observant. O wasn’t done though, “Look, I know Clarke and she doesn’t handle being hurt well. She gets angry and she lashes out. She usually feels incredibly guilty afterwards but then her pride gets involved and she just can never figure out how to apologize. So if she says or does something, it is just because she is hurting.”

Lexa grabbed her arm, “I know, O. And as I’ve told you I deserve every thing she can dish out.”

“There is a silver lining to all this though.” Lexa waited and watched as O tried to figure out her words, “Clarke is usually a pragmatist when it comes to stuff like this. It happens, it sucks, but she puts it behind her and moves on. If she is still this affected it means she still cares. She is just hiding it behind her anger.”

Lexa can feel the spark of hope in her chest but pats it down. Even if Octavia is right she has no right to fan that flame. She motioned to the door of her and Anya’s room.

“Let’s get in there and make sure Anya and Raven haven’t killed each other.”

* * *

 

Lexa watched as Octavia rolled her shoulders and ankles. She walked to her and helped her stretch her arms behind her back. “Remember, O, just stay tight in the air and don’t over-rotate. Keep your eyes on your landing zone and stick it. You’ve practiced this vault a thousand times.”

O shook her arms, “I can do it in my sleep, Lexa, trust me.”

“I know you can. Go out and knock ‘em dead, Blake.” Lexa said and walked over to stand next to Kane while Octavia went to present for the judges at the end of the runway.

She took off down the runway and hit the vault full force. Her body shot into the air and she twisted and flipped before hitting the mat. Her feet stuck and she absorbed the impact with her knees. After a pause she stood and presented proudly. It was a perfect vault. Lexa and the girls jumped up and down cheering for their friend.

O runs to them and Lexa is the first one to lift her up in a hug. They all took a deep breath and waited for the score. When it flashed up on the screen the air went out of the group.

Kane marched up to the judges table, “Oh come one, where the Hell is that deduction coming from, Sydney?!”

“Marcus step away from the table.” The blonde judge at the end of the table said with an almost bored voice.

He took a step back and a deep breath and asked again, “What was that deduction for?”

Sydney rolled her eyes and spun her pen, “Her bra strap was showing, Marcus. Any undergarment showing is an automatic deduction, as you well know.”

“That rule is ancient.”

“Obviously so is her bra. Now, Marcus, I’m gonna ask you to step back one more time. Don’t make me red card you cause I will, but I don’t want to.” Sydney eyed him over the edge of her glasses and he stepped back and turned around.

He was fuming by the time he got back to the bench. Lexa jumped up, “What was it?”

Kane clenched his jaw, “Bra strap.”

Lexa turned and she could see it. The purple line of a thin bra strap sticking out of Octavia’s leo, just barely visible.

“You have got to be fucking with me,” She muttered under her breath. “This is bullshit, Kane!”

“You think I don’t know that. Rules are rules.” Kane said and extended his hand for her warm up top. She was next in the rotation but she just threw it on the floor.

“Fuck that,” She turned to the runway. She was pissed. Octavia had been working her ass off on that vault just to get it knocked down by a formality. She would show the judges they couldn’t do this.

Kane grabbed her arm, “Lexa don’t do something you are going to regret.”

“I know I won’t.” He dropped his hand and she presented to the judges before stepping on the runway. She stared at them and then smirked. She reached up and pulled the shoulders of her leo far enough over that both of her bra straps were clearly showing. Would this make a difference? Probably not, but it would make her feel damn good at the moment.

She took off at a sprint but when she reached the vault she just jumped up onto it. She stood on the vault and stared down at the judges. She clenched her fists and didn’t move her eyes until the judges looked down at the table. She jumped down and walked back to the bench. Kane handed her warm-ups to her and just shook his head, “You should have stuck out your tongue or something.”

“I would have, but my coach likes it when I control my tricks.”

He chuckled and patted her shoulder, “Atta girl, Lexa, atta girl.”

The crowd was going crazy. Lexa Heda had just intentionally scratched during event finals.

Lexa sat down on the bench and pulled her warm-up top on. Octavia was having trouble keeping her jaw from dropping. Anya was watching and swallowed hard. She chalked up her hands and feet before stepping up onto the runway.

She took a few deep breaths. She looked back at Lexa and the others. They were watching her ready to cheer when she completed her vault. She could still the disappointed tears in Octavia’s eyes. Maybe Lexa was right. Maybe it was time to change the rules. She turned back to the vault and started her run. Half way down she threw on the brakes and stopped herself just short of the spring board. She turned to the judges and pulled out the strap of her bra before turning to walk back to her team.

Raven and O jumped on her once she close enough. She froze and groaned, “Stop with the touching.”

“Yeah, that is kinda their thing. It usually means they are happy.” Lexa said smiling, “Good job, Rivers.”

Anya just pushed the girls away but Lexa didn’t miss the small tilt up of her lips. She extended her hand and Lexa shook it, “Just following your lead, Commander.”

The girl’s sat and watched as the next gymnast stepped up to the runway. To their surprise she just presented and then step off the mat. She scratched, just like Lexa and Anya. One after another the girls stepped up and scratched. The judges didn’t know what to do.

Raven started smacking O’s arm. She jumped and looked at the girl, “What?!”

“That was the last one. Octavia, you’re the new vault champion.” O’s eyes widened.

“Holy shit! I…I think I need to sit down.” She fell back into her chair and stared.

Lexa squatted down in front of her and squeezed her knee, “Way to go, Champ.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so as I said I have two things to discuss with you guys. Number one is that I will keep posting this since it is all written but I will be putting everything else on hold to write a few things with a Pride focus.  
> Number two is that since this is almost done I want you guys to pick the next multichapter I focus on. This is a list of AU's that I have outlined and ready to start. Just comment with a name from the list below. The most will be the one I focus on. Okay so the options are:  
> It Is Time - Atlantis AU  
> Somewhere New - Safe Haven AU  
> Footsteps of a Stranger - Pocahontas AU  
> Not That Different - Tarzan AU  
> Words Meant Just For Her - Enchanted AU


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter Lexa leads a revolution, Raven breaks it down and Anya is perceptively protective.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow guys I am blown away by how many of you guys are commenting with your vote for my next fic. At the end of this update I'll post the current tally and you can vote again in the comments if you really want a particular AU, also I am opening my ask box on tumblr. Any asks I get there will also be counted. Have fun with this one guys, I know I did!!

The girls were moving their things from the vault area over to uneven bars. Raven, Lexa, and Anya had qualified for this event.

“That was freaking awesome. I can’t believe everyone scratched like that.” Raven said walking backwards so she could still see the girls.

“We should just do that on all the events. It would be like we are picking the winner. Take the judges out of the decision completely.” Anya said, Lexa stopped and grabbed her arm.

“Anya, I believe you may be an actual genius. Girls we have about fifteen minutes until the uneven bars starts right?”

The girls nodded and Lexa rubbed her hands together, “Okay gather all the girls who qualified into the hallway underneath the north bleachers. We’re gonna have a little meeting before the next event.”

They went their separate ways and Lexa headed to the hall to work up her nerve. She leaned against a wall with her arms crossed and waited for the girls to trickle in. She had no idea how this was going to go, but she had to at least try.

The girls came in and she met each one’s eyes as they took places in the hall.

Once they were all there Anya took a place to Lexa’s right and Octavia on her left. Lexa inhaled deeply before she started, “Look I know most of you either hate me or couldn’t care less about what I have to say, but hear me out. We have all felt that pain, that sting. You spend hours training. You shed blood and tears to make your routine as perfect as humanly possible. Then you perform and put on the show they expect and they pick it apart and tear you down for things you can’t even help. The rules are archaic and out of date. You all saw what we did out there with the vault. We made our voices heard for the first time. The idea is that we do this on the next event and the one after that. We have a say in how things go, we make them listen. This is a call to arms or more like a passive rebellion. We don’t give them the power to have any say in this outcome. We take a poll and pick one person to compete on uneven bars. The rest of us scratch. We pick the victor for a change. If you are with us, stay and vote. If not then go and warm-up and give the judges everything you have. I won’t force this on anyone, but I will say we are stronger in numbers. You all have the choice.”

She took a step back and waited. Not a single girl moved. Anya smirked and stepped forward taking the reigns from Lexa, “Then let’s get this vote done. Anyone have any suggestions?”

Someone from the back of the group raised there hand, “How about Nastia?”

“That’s a good one. Any others?” A few more names were thrown out there and they took a vote. Nastia won by a landslide.

Lexa stepped forward and addressed the group, “Everyone go back to your teams and spread the word but when your turn comes up get ready like you are competing but then scratch. Nastia, get yourself warmed up, we are all waiting to see what you’ve got.”

The small blonde nodded and left to prepare for her routine. Lexa took a deep breath as the rest of the girls slipped back out into the arena. Anya turned and nodded at her, “Come on, Commander, I think you are first up on the roster for uneven bars. Gotta stretch out those scratching muscles, right?”

“Shut up, Anya.” She said and shrugged her bag up onto her shoulders.

They headed back out on the arena floor and Lexa could feel something building in her gut. When she made it over to the row of chairs Kane was standing with a lifted eyebrow. “Have a nice little conversation? Should I be worried?”

“You are just gonna have to trust me on this one, Kane.” She pulled off her warm-up top and tossed it on a chair next to Octavia.

She chalked up her hands and stretched for the show of it but after she presented to the judges she brought her hands down against the bar and it rebounded loudly. She turned and presented again before stepping off the platform. Kane was looking at her with wide eyes.

“What is going on? I can understand scratching to prove a point with Octavia but what is this?” Kane asked under his breath as he pulled her to the side.

“You said it yourself. I’m making a point.” She pulled her bottoms back on and sat in between O and Raven. Anya nodded to her as she stepped up to the bar and scratched as well.

Lexa watched as more girls went forward only to walk away without performing any skills. The judges were pulling their hair out but there wasn’t anything they could do but mark down the scratch and wait to see if the next athlete would do something worth an actual score. When Nastia walked forward and started her routine the announcers went crazy because she was the only gymnast so far that perform an element that earned her points. Lexa smiled as she watched the girl flip and twirl around the bars.

O leaned over to Lexa, “I am so glad we picked her. She is killing it.”

Kane looked from the girls back to the uneven bars, “Picked her?”

Lexa could see the gears turning in his head until he seemed to come to a conclusion. He looked at Lexa and just nodded, but didn’t say anything. She felt herself smile, whatever conclusion he had come to, he apparently approved.

They watched and soon the last girl had scratched. Nastia was the winner and Lexa couldn’t contain her smile when the girl came over to offer her a hug. Lexa could see the judges whispering among themselves. They looked pissed.

_ This can’t be good. _

“Anya, get the girls together. Vote for beam. I’m gonna keep an eye on our blazer clad friends here.” She leaned to the blonde and she nodded and stood pulling Raven and O with her.

Lexa straightened up when the head judge walked up to her.

“Miss Heda, I am sure you have something to do with this. Whatever you are trying to accomplish, it won’t work. Stop it now and there won’t be any negative consequences.” Sydney said and stared up at her.

Lexa held her hand over her chest like she’d been slapped, “Ma’am, I don’t know what you are insinuating? My shoulder is just sore and I really want to give it my all on the next events so I thought it was a good idea to sit this one out.”

She rubbed her shoulder for added effect. The woman looked utterly offended and turned to Kane, who was standing next to her, “Are you just going to let her act this way, Kane?”

“You heard her, Sydney. Her shoulder is sore and I would never force my girls to push themselves past where they are comfortable.” Kane said and smiled like the cat that ate the canary.

Sydney looked like she was about to pop an aneurysm but she sighed, “Fine. We want all the athletes competing on the beam at the apparatus now! Before warm-ups.”

They lined the girls up in front of the beam. One of the judges paced in front of them, “Now, are you going to tell me who will be competing? Because there are alternates who would like to compete if you won’t.”

He motioned to the side where Clarke was standing looking at the girls with her chin held high. The girls stood their ground and wouldn’t budge, but under the intense gaze of the judges and most of the coaches one girl took a step out of line. Clarke stepped forward into line. “Game over.”

When the judges dismissed them Raven came over to Anya and Lexa, “Guys, I can scratch and we can still make our point.”

Lexa put a hand on her shoulder, “No, Raven, the girl’s voted for you so they want to see your routine, this doesn’t change anything.”

Octavia had split from the group and was walking up to Clarke. The blonde looked over at her and rolled her eyes. She had seen that face before and it was usually when O was on some sort of war path, “Clarke, what are you doing?”

“Octavia, not right now. I need to warm up.” She said as she rolled her shoulders.

“Why are you standing by the judges on this? You have always talked to me about how messed up the rules are, but now when we actually have the chance to show them we aren’t gonna sit back and take this, you take the judges’ side.” O said not backing down.

Clarke pulled off her warm up top and glared at the brunette, “This game you are playing with her and the others isn’t going to accomplish anything. I get it, you two are buddies now, but she isn’t gonna stick around if this turns south.”

“You’re right. We are friends, but that is because she stood by me and defended me when Bellamy pulled his usual bullshit. Just admit you are only standing by the judges because it the side opposite of Lexa. God, Clarke, I never knew you were this petty.” O turned away and walked back over to the team. Lexa shifted her eyes from the brunette to the blonde.

“What was that all about?” She asked as O sat down next to her.

“Just trying to make my best friend see sense.” She said and sighed heavily.

“She is just doing what she sees as right. Or what she can stand to do.” Lexa said.

“Why are you defending her? She is being a total bitch, to you especially.” Octavia said completely bewildered.

Lexa looked her dead in the eyes, “Listen to me, Octavia, I won’t come between you two. If it comes to a choice, take her side.”

She stood and moved down the bench till she was next to Anya. They sat through four girls scratching just like they planned, but then Clarke took her place and started a routine.

Lexa couldn’t help but watch her intently. She had always been mesmerized by the way Clarke moved through her routines, especially on beam. Her fists clenched as she held her breath during one of the trickier elements and she relaxed as she landed it with ease.

Anya was watching her and how her eyes never strayed from Clarke, “You still love her?”

Lexa turned her head but her eyes couldn’t leave the blonde, “I never stopped.”

“I know this is hard, Lexa, but you have to keep your head and heart separate on this one.”

Lexa closed her eyes and took a deep breath, “I know. Trust me, Anya, I started this and I will finish it.”

When Clarke dismounted she passed by them and looked at Raven, “Beat that.”

Raven’s jaw dropped and she just looked at the girls. She shook her head and stood up, “Oh yeah. I’m about to blow this shit up.”

She took off her warm-ups and headed to the beam. She presented to the judges and then took a deep breath before pulling herself up onto the beam. She took a rather strange starting position with her hip cocked and her head hanging at an odd angle. As if on a cue she started moving and Lexa had never seen a beam routine quite like this one.

She had known Raven could dance from times when they had just been messing around, but obviously the girl had been holding back then. Lexa started cheering when Raven lifted herself into an, albeit, unorthodox lift that had her weight fully on her arms and her legs kicked up over her head. The entire crowd joined in the cheering when she started break dancing with just the thin beam as her pivot point.

When she performed an impressive dismount and stuck the landing she brushed off her shoulder with a smirk.

Lexa clapped her on the arm, "Wow, you weren't kidding, Reyes. That was...explosive. I don't think they are gonna know what to do with that one."

It took one look at the judges table to prove she was right. They were all looking purely dumbstruck.

* * *

 

Clarke was walking down one of the hallways looking for a locker room to have some privacy when she heard someone call after her, "Griffin."

She turned and saw the blonde woman walking towards her, "Anya Rivers, been awhile. How are you liking the new gym?"

She shrugged, "Kane can get a bit preachy but it’s better than the old one."

There was a pregnant pause and Clarke knew the blonde had come to tell her something specific so she waited.

"Look, I respect you, Griffin, so I'm gonna be blunt and honest with you." She steadied a firm look at Clarke and she stiffened in preparation for whatever was going to be said, "The way I see it you have two options. One; you keep your head buried in the sand and stand by the judges. Let your anger turn you bitter and into a complete bitch. Or two; you stand up for something that is so much more important than whatever the hell happened between you and Lexa. Seriously think about it? Is trying to hurt her really that important to you? She is just trying to make a statement and you undermining that to dig at her is just childish."

Clarke bowed up and spat, "If you think the  _ Commander _ really cares about you then the joke's on you."

"Bull shit! Anyone with eyes can see how much she cares. You really don't know her at all if you haven't figured out that her  _ Commander _ persona is defense mechanism. She uses it to protect herself when she is hurt or in pain, especially if that pain is emotional."

Anya had moved closer to her and Clarke was afraid the girl may actually hit her. "Also on that note, I can tolerate people as long as they don't piss me off. You, on the other hand, if you cause her anymore pain than she is already in my tolerance will wear thin real quick."

"Anya!" Lexa had come through the door and caught the end of Anya' threat, "That isn't necessary. Clarke is just doing what she sees as best. No one can fault her for that."

Anya looked between the two and nodded before walking past Lexa out of the hallway.

Clarke could see the walls going up as Lexa stood there with her eyes watching Anya leave. Her shoulders tensed and her back straightened. She knew Anya was right of course, but she never thought Lexa would use that defense against her. She was shocked when she heard Lexa sigh and deflate, the walls were gone completely from her eyes when she turned to look at Clarke, "I'm sorry, Clarke."

She could see the pain filling those emerald eyes now. She wanted to be angry but she was too tired. Tired of being angry. Tired of trying to hate someone she still loved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, so current tally is as stands as of this update:
> 
> It Is Time - Atlantis AU - II  
> Somewhere New - Safe Haven AU - II  
> Footsteps of a Stranger - Pocahontas AU - I  
> Not That Different - Tarzan AU - I  
> Words Meant Just For Her - Enchanted AU - IIII
> 
> Just like before comment below which on you want and I will update the count as we go. Also keep in mind asks on tumblr count too. I'm always excited to start on a new project, but this is making it so much more exciting!


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter O finds a thing, Lexa floors it, and Clarke recieves an eye-opening message then delivers one of her own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't hate me for the cliff hanger last chapter. This one makes up for it I swear...well kind of...you'll see.  
> Also check out the tally at the end again. Keep voting!

Lexa was in one of the locker rooms taping up her ankle. The girls had selected her to compete on floor. She didn't know if this was the universe giving karma the middle finger but she couldn't help find it funny. Her last two tournaments she walked out on floor and now her only actual event would be floor.

She chuckled and looked up when we heard the door open. Octavia walked in and sat down next to her.

"They are saying the break will be another fifteen minutes, so you have plenty of time to get warmed up. I'm gonna go ahead and shower so I can be ready for the podium." O said as she started digging in her bag for shower stuff.

Lexa finished her wrap and exhaled heavily, "Thanks, O. Not to ditch you but I need to get in the right head space. See you at the awards ceremony okay?"

Lexa grabbed her ear buds and pushed them into her ears. She started bobbing her head to the sound of Lzzy Hale's voice and grabbed her bag. In her haste she didn't see the folded piece of paper fall out and land on the bench next to Octavia's hand.

"Lexa, you dropped..." The brunette was already out of the door and couldn't hear her over her music.

She picked up the paper and saw a word written neatly on one side.

 

_ Clarke _

 

She should really just wait and give this back to Lexa after her floor routine but now she was curious. She carefully unfolded the well worn paper and as her eyes started scanning the lines her jaw dropped.

"Holy shit!"

* * *

 

Lexa rolled her neck and felt it pop loudly. She wasn't really paying attention to the music playing into her ears so she pulled the earbuds out and tossed them in her bag. Her mind was focusing on running through every part of her routine, making sure every tumbling pass would come off clean and flow into the next. She had trained hard for this. She was not going to choke now. She still felt like something was missing though. She was walking down the side of the arena when someone grabbed her arm and pulled her into an alcove. She was about to start swinging when she heard her dad's voice, "Kiddo, it's just me. Kane let me down for a few minutes but I have to go soon."

"Dad?! What are you doing here?" She asked staring at him in disbelief.

“I wanted to be here for you. I couldn’t make it yesterday because of work, but I made it today. I saw what happened on the vault with your friend and the way you handled it. I saw such fire and passion so after that I needed to see you, because I just wanted to say I have never been more proud of you.” He said and Lexa could see the emotion in his eyes.

Lexa stepped forward and wrapped her arms around her father and squeezed. She had never realized how much she needed to hear him say that after everything they had been through. “Thanks, Dad.”

He seemed a little choked up as he stepped back, “I should probably go back to the stands. Go kick some ass, Kiddo.”

“Take some names while I’m at it.” She said remembering the usual back and forth they had back before everything went to shit.

He nodded, “You better. I’ll be watching from the stands. Give ‘em Hell.”

He turned and walked back through a door that led up to the stairs. She took a deep breath and felt the lightness in her heart. He had come to see her. She hadn’t talked to him since she left for KGA the second time and he showed up anyway.

* * *

 

Octavia walked over to Clarke who was sitting down on the far side of the floor platform from where the others were. The blonde looked up and her shoulders fell, “O, coming to ream me again for being petty and childish?”

“No, I just came to give you this.” Octavia pushed the folded paper at her. “Trust me, Clarke, you need to read this.”

Clarke grabbed it and saw the still familiar handwriting and her own name, “Octavia, I am not interested in reading anything she has to say right now.”

She tries to give the paper back but O refuses, “Just hear me out. Lexa doesn’t even know I’m giving this to you. Those questions you had right after worlds, the answers are in there. You just have to read it.”

Octavia turned on her heel and headed back to sit with the other girls. Clarke looked down at the letter in her hand and sat it on the chair next to her. She was so tempted but she couldn’t take reading anything else from Lexa. The last note had been brief but it still burned to think about. She looked up and saw Lexa about to start up the stairs to the platform. When those deep green eyes met hers she turned her face to the floor.

* * *

 

Lexa handed her warm-ups over to Raven and started for the platform. She could feel the nerves roiling in her gut but forced them down. She knew her father was watching her but she couldn’t help thinking about all the things that had changed in the past year.

She had been at the top of her game. Then she fell in love. Then she lost her mother, her coach, and the girl she loved in one fell swoop. Then she lost her father and found two life long friends. She broke the law and got caught. Her father found his way back to her even when she wasn’t looking to let him in again. Then she made even more friends including an old enemy. She also found a new coach and was now standing on the precipice of her next step but she didn’t really know what it would all mean. Would the actions of the girls change anything in the gymnastics world? She had no idea but their voices was being heard and that meant something. She was about to step into the white outline of the floor when Kane grabbed her arm, “Lexa wait.”

“What? What is it?”

Lexa thought something may be wrong because Kane seemed frazzled but he just shook his head, “Everything is fine. I just wanted to let you know that even if nothing comes of this weekend, you have earned this championship. You’re truly a visionary and a born leader. Don’t ever forget that. Don’t let them ever forget that. What I’m trying to say is; go out there and floor it. Do you get what I’m saying, Heda?”

“You got it, Coach,” She said and turned back to the floor. Her eyes automatically scanned the crowd on the opposite side and her eyes landed on blonde hair and blue orbs that quickly cut to the floor away from her gaze.

She took the final step into the floor boundaries and took her starting position. She dipped her head and clasped her arms behind her back. When the first chords of the Fall Out Boy song started she moved with the rough beat until she reached her mark for the first tumbling pass. She took off across the mat in a series of flips and landed before moving smoothly into her next element. She could feel every part of her body moving in sync with the tempo of the song.

It felt like the music was moving through her and fueling her to jump higher. She was catching better air than she ever did in the practice gym. She felt like this was the performance she was meant to give a year ago. The universe had finally been put right, she could feel it. When her body moved through the last elements of her routine she closed her eyes and let the feeling of completeness wash over her with the final lilting note of the song.

* * *

 

Clarke watched the first few steps of Lexa’s routine but she had to avert her eyes after a few moments. Her feelings were so jumbled in her head and her heart. Her eyes kept darting down to the paper sitting on the chair next to her. O had said it held the answers she had wanted for over a year. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

_ Fuck it. _

She grabbed the letter but couldn’t bring herself to unfold it. She noticed how worn the creases were and the paper had begun to yellow. There was no way Lexa wrote this today or even the day before. She must have written this at worlds, but why was she just now seeing it? The only way to find out would be to read it and find out.

She slowly unfolded the aging paper and exhale slowly as she started to read:

 

_ Clarke, _

_ I don’t have much time to write this but I couldn’t just leave without trying to explain. You just went on the floor and, baby, you are doing amazing. I am supposed to follow you, but I just can’t. _

_ My entire life is imploding. My mother just told me that she is leaving my father because she is sleeping with Cage Wallace. Honestly, the last thing I care about is gymnastics. I hate all of it right now. Wallace. The judges. My mother. My father. The only thing I don’t hate is you. I should have seen this coming but I was too wrapped up in you. When you are reading this you will know what I’ve done or am about to do. My last intention was to ruin your chance at World gold, but I just can’t do this. _

_ I am so sorry. This probably isn’t the way or time to say this but, I love you, Clarke. I love everything about you. I don’t know what my life will be in even a month, but I know I will want you there for me. If what I’m about to do makes you hate me, I’ll understand. Forgive me. _

_ Love, _

_ Lexa _

 

When she looked up from the paper she could feel the tears welling but for the first time in a year it wasn’t because of her pain. She saw Lexa stop her movements with the music and the peace on her face was soothing to see. Lexa had been through Hell in the last year and here Clarke was just making it worse. How was she ever going to make this right?

* * *

 

Lexa walked off the platform and accepted the towel Kane offered her. She wiped her brow and took a few deep breaths to try and calm her racing heart. She watched as Clarke walked past to take her place on the platform. Lexa could have sworn she was trying to make eye contact with her, but Lexa was busy trying to contain her two hyperactive friends.

The blonde walked up to the platform and Lexa caught her eyes as she looked back before she turned to the judges. Clarke steps into the boundaries and spared one more look back before lining up for the beginning of her routine. Lexa’s jaw dropped though when Clarke pulled down the shoulder of her leotard and popped her bra strap. The girl’s jumped up and cheered along with the crowd. They were all holding up the signs they had made that read “0.0”. After the vault the crowd had been entirely supportive of the girls and what they were doing.

Clarke walked down the stairs and Octavia immediately hugged her and the blonde smiled widely. When she took a step back she turned to Lexa and surprised everybody by throwing her arms around the brunette’s neck.

Lexa was shocked at first but then instinct took over and she wrapped her arms around her waist and lifted her up. Lexa was determined to memorize every moment . She never thought she would feel this again. Clarke’s body against her own felt right and the sweet smell of her shampoo tickled her nose.

Lexa let her down and smiled. She saw a soft blush on her cheeks but Clarke just looked at her feet and walked away. Lexa’s eyes followed her and she let out a breath she hadn’t realized she was holding.

“She is gonna give me whiplash, I swear.” Raven said as she shook her head in confusion.

“You and me both, Reyes,” Lexa said as she turned back to the group.

Kane was asking about where they were going to eat after the awards ceremony before going back to the hotel, but Lexa couldn’t quite focus on everyone’s suggestions. Her mind was still reliving that moment with Clarke.

She tapped Anya’s shoulder and motioned towards the locker rooms, “I’m gonna go shower before the ceremony. Don’t let them pick sushi or some shit like that.”

Anya nodded and turned back to throw a few suggestions in the ring.

Lexa walked to her back and her heart stopped when she saw the small piece of paper sticking from the zipper. Her hands were shaking when she pulled it out and unfolded it:

 

**Meet me in the north hallway.**

**\- C**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the cliffhanger...again...it just had to happen this way...see you on wednesday for how all of that is gonna go!
> 
> The tally stands at:  
> It Is Time - Atlantis AU - IIII  
> Somewhere New - Safe Haven AU - III  
> Footsteps of a Stranger - Pocahontas AU - I  
> Not That Different - Tarzan AU - V  
> Words Meant Just For Her - Enchanted AU - IIII  
> I'll keep counting votes in the comments and on tumblr...lets see who is gonna win out.


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter communication is key, awards are awarded, Clarke punches somebody, and Anya takes the floor.

Lexa hesitated when she reached the corner that would lead her into the north hallway. She wanted more than anything to see Clarke but she was also terrified that the girl wouldn’t be there for some reason or that she would be there but only with more venom. She closed her eyes and smoothed a hand over her hair. She could do this.

She turns the corner and spots Clarke leaning against the wall watching the opposite end of the hallway. She takes this moment to really look at Clarke for the first time in over a year. She looked even more beautiful than she remembered. She had let her hair down since the hug following her scratch on floor. The golden curls hung loose over her shoulders Lexa yearned to reach out and feel how soft they would be against her fingers. She found herself pulled towards Clarke.

When she was a few feet away from her she decided that sneaking up on her was probably not the best move. She set her bag down by the wall and cleared her throat, “Clarke…”

The blonde jumped a little and turned toward Lexa. She smiled and bit her lip, “I got your letter.”

Lexa’s eyes narrowed. They had already established that Clarke received her note at worlds. Why did she want to talk about it now? “You already told me that. Figured you didn’t like my note from your reaction, forgive me for being a little confused now?”

“Not your  _ note,  _ Lex, which we will talk about later cause that was the  _ stupidest  _ note anyone has ever left…ever. I’m talking about this…” Clarke pulling the worn paper out and held it out to Lexa.

Lexa immediately recognized it, “Wait? How did you even…? This was in my…the locker room with Octavia! I’m gonna…”

“Whoa, there! Don’t be mad at her.” Clarke reached for her hand which she hand clenched when she realized Octavia had gone behind her back like this, “It’s a good thing she gave this to me, but what I can’t figure out is why you didn’t?”

Lexa turned her hand over in Clarke’s and skimmed her thumb over the knuckles. She couldn’t bring her eyes to meet those blue orbs, but she had to explain so she swallowed and jumped in, “I was about to leave it but then I saw you on floor and I realized that I couldn’t hold you back like that. I knew that if you knew what I was going through or what I was about to go through, you would have put everything on hold. Your dreams and plans. I just couldn’t be the reason you didn’t achieve everything you wanted.”

Clarke lifted a hand to her cheek and swiped at a tear that had escaped, “Don’t you think that was something for me to decide though?”

“Of course, but not until later and the damage was already done. I knew you were stubborn enough that walking out may delay your plans a year or two but you would never give up…as long as you didn’t know the reason why.” Lexa said and leaned into the hand on her cheek.

Clarke chuckled but she had tears welling in her eyes as well, “After today no more of this self-sacrificing stuff. I have a right to choose what I do and don’t do, okay?”

Lexa nodded and lifted a hand to finally run her fingers through the bottom of Clarke’s hair. It felt like silk and she sighed as Clarke took a small step closer. She wrapped her arms around Lexa’s waist and rested her head against one of her shoulders. Lexa gently rubbed a hand up and down her back with one hand while the other played with her hair.

“Lexa, did you mean everything you wrote in your letter?”

Lexa pulled back and looked deep into those blue eyes, “At the time, every word, some I still do.”

“Which ones?” Clarke asked and bit her lip again. Lexa notice her eyes dip to her lips and back.

Lexa ran a finger down the curve of Clarke's cheek and smiled, "I am pretty sure you know which parts."

Clarke closed her eyes and leaned her forehead against Lexa's for a moment before pulling back, "I want to hear you say it."

Lexa could see the joy and expectation in her eyes as she took a deep breath, "I love you, Clarke."

The blonde looked like she was able to breath for the first time in ages, "I have been waiting to hear that for far too long."

Lexa lowered her forehead back to Clarke's and just let herself breath. She moved her hand to cup Clarke's jaw, "Can I kiss you?"

She more felt than saw Clarke nod but she saw the smile that bloomed on her face. She slid her hand from her jaw to the back of her neck and closed the distance between their lips.

It was just pressure at first, both girls enjoying the feel of soft lips against their own. Then Lexa moved her other hand to Clarke's hip and changed the angle so she could softly suck on her bottom lip. Clarke pulled Lexa even closer and moved her hands up the girl’s back.

This was just as amazing as Lexa remembered. They seemed to fit perfectly as they fell into the push and pull of their lips moving together. After a few moments Lexa found herself giggling into the kiss. She could feel Clarke smiling and she wanted to see it so she pulled back. She swept Clarke’s back behind her ears and leaned in for a few more small pecks to her cheeks and the tip of her nose.

Someone cleared their throat behind Lexa and she turned around to see Octavia standing a few feet away. She was blushing furiously and looking anywhere but at them.

“Yes, Octavia?” Lexa asked and noticed her voice was huskier than usual.

“They are about to start the awards ceremony. Kane was gonna come find you, but I figured that would be way more awkward than necessary.” She said and laughed at her own. The girls chuckled with her and Clarke wrapped an arm Lexa’s waist. Lexa leaned over and grabbed the strap of her gear bag.

“I’m glad it was you then and not Kane. Let’s go get our medals.” She wound her fingers through Clarke’s and started after Octavia.

* * *

 

They followed the girl through the crowd that had formed around the podium that had been carried out onto the arena floor. When they reached the pocket of their friends and family Lexa was surprised to see the dark skinned judge standing there laughing with Kane.

“Indra? What are you doing here?” Lexa asked extending a hand to the woman.

Indra smiled and gripped her hand, “I told you, Lexa, we stick together. Looks like you caused quite the commotion today. I thought I told you to stay out of trouble?”

“Depends on your definition of trouble. I technically didn’t break any rules.” Lexa smirked and shrugged. Indra turned her eyes to Clarke and then back to Lexa. “Oh, this is Clarke. Clarke, this is Indra, she is a…friend, of sorts.”

“Pleasure to meet you, Ma’am.” Clarke said and shook her hand.

“Please call me Indra. Lexa, I think someone maybe looking for you.” The woman motioned over Lexa’s shoulder and she turned to see her father craning his neck to see over the crowd.

“I’ll go get him. Can you hold on to this for me I’ll be right back.” She pulled her hand from Clarke’s and handed her the strap of her gear bag. She leaned in to give her a peck on the cheek before pushing into the crowd after her father.

Clarke swung the bag up onto her shoulder and turned back to the group. Anya notices her and took a step closer.

"Glad you finally got your head out of your ass, Griffin."

Clarke chuckled and rolled her eyes, "I was being a bit of a bitch."

"A bit?" Anya eyed her and Clarke pushed her shoulder playfully.

"Shut up you."

"So this is O's infamous best friend, Clarke Griffin?" Raven said when she noticed who had joined their little huddle.

"Infamous? O, what have you been telling her?!" Clarke asked and punched Octavia in the shoulder.

O rubbed her shoulder and winced, "Ouch! I only tell the truth and you love when I talk about your old shenanigans."

Raven jumped in bouncing with excitement, "Please tell me you actually set Bellamy's shirt on fire with a Bunsen burner."

“That was an accident…mostly.” Clarke laughed and Raven hugged her, which was a surprise, but she returned it.

“You are my hero, Blondie,” She said when she pulled back and Clarke wrinkled her nose at the nick name.

“Don’t ever call me that again please. Speaking of names though, we haven’t been properly introduced?” Clarke asked and shifted the strap on her shoulder.

“Oh, I’m Raven,” She said and then her eyes widened comically, “Holy shit! Is that Lexa’s bag?”

“Yes?” Clarke didn’t really understand why that was such a big deal.

“But that is  _ Lexa’s  _ bag!!” Raven said like it was the biggest revelation in the world.

Clarke nodded slowly, “Yes, it is. She asked me to hold it for her, why is that such a big deal?”

“The first time I met her I asked her who decorated it and she almost ripped my head off because I almost touched it.” Raven explained and Clarke had to fight the smirk.

She feigned ignorance and asked, “Why were you asking about the decorations?”

“Cause whoever did them is a total badass.” Raven said just as Lexa walked up and placed a hand on the small of Clarke’s back.

“What are we talking about?”

Clarke smirked and lifted an eyebrow at the brunette, “Apparently you are far too overprotective of Ole Faithful here, and according to Raven I am a ‘total badass’.”

Raven’s jaw dropped but Clarke was too busy watching the blush creeping onto Lexa’s cheeks. Raven said. “Wait, so you drew all of that?”

“Yep, I did it while we were at training camp before worlds.” Clarke leaned into Lexa’s shoulder and Lexa wrapped her arm around her waist to pull her closer. She was overjoyed that she was finally able to remember those weeks without feeling like her heart was being ripped out. Those memories had been tainted by knowing it was all she would ever have to remember Clarke, but now she had the chance to make newer memories. She couldn’t stop herself from turning her face into Clarke’s neck and smiling at how her soft hair tickled her nose.

Raven tilted her head and her eyes narrowed in confusion, “I feel like I’m missing something.”

Lexa just smiled and turned her face back to Raven, “You’ll figure it out. You do have quite the imagination.”

The conversation was cut short when the announcer’s voice rang out through the arena asking for the athletes who medaled to step forward. O was the first one up at the top of the podium. She smiled wide for the pictures and lifted her flowers over her head. Nastia took her place next and she waved shyly at Lexa and the girls from the top and Raven cheered loudly. When Clarke and Raven took their places they waited for a few photos before Clarke pulled Raven up and gave her flowers over so the dark hair girl was on the top of the podium by herself. Lexa hugged her dad before she headed up to the top herself. The workers handed her the bouquet and hung the medal around her neck. As she looked out the crowd her eyes were drawn to the small circle of the people she was lucky enough to call friends and family. For the first time she smiled in an award photo, because she would not have been here without all of them.

Afterwards the girls were trying to convince Kane to take them to Olive Garden.

“I need those bread sticks in my life, Pop,” Raven begged and Kane seemed to be cracking in his resolve.

“Yeah, and bottomless soup.” Lexa threw in and eyed Anya for the final blow.

“Plus don’t we deserve a reward for single-handedly dismantling a corrupt judgment system?” She said and the rest of the girls gave Kane their best puppy dog eyes.

“Fine, we’ll go to Olive Garden. Clarke, you are welcome to join us if you want?” He said and the girls cheered.

“I’d love to come. My flight back home leaves super early so a good meal would be great.” As she was talking Clarke saw someone just over Kane’s shoulder. She turned to Lexa, “Can you guys hold on for just a second? I’ve got something I need to take care of really quick.”

She broke off from the group and approached the man. He smirked as she stopped in front of him and her skin crawled, “Wallace, can I have a word?”

“Miss Griffin, I have to say I am seriously disappointed. I thought you were made of high caliber stuff than to sink down with the rabble.” He said and she really wanted to punch him.

“As long as I’m a better person than you, I’ll sleep well at night.” She said and she really relished in the look of shock on his face.  _ What a narcissistic ass-hat! _

“How dare you?” His face turned beet red, but Clarke held up a hand.

“There is one more thing…” She balled up her fist and punched him in the nose. He went sprawling and she shook out her hand. It would probably bruise but it was so worth it. She leaned over him, “That was for my girlfriend, you douche.”

She walked back over to the group and Lexa immediately grabbed her hand gently, “Shit, Clarke! Are you okay? That really wasn’t necessary.”

Clarke just shrugged, “It was totally necessary. He deserved that and more.”

Raven hugged her then in a tackle, “You really are a total badass and my hero.”

As they were all walking out Anya put a hand down on one of Raven and Octavia’s shoulders. “Yo, Tweedles, I’m gonna take the floor in your room tonight.”

Raven looked back at her and she nodded forward to where Clarke and Lexa were walking incredibly close. Lexa lifted Clarke’s hand to her lips and kissed her knuckles.

“Gross. Yeah, you can stay with us, Rivers.” Octavia said and fake gagged. She was happy for both of them but wow were they sappy together.

Raven playfully elbowed Anya in the side, “Well, if you are gonna be shacking up with us forget the floor. You are staying in my bed…I’m rather cuddly.”

Anya took a moment to look Raven up and down then nodded with a wink, “If you don’t annoy me too much I may take you up on that.”

Octavia stepped in between them, “Oh, no! I’ll end up sleeping in the hallway if that happens. Rae you are staying with me so neither of you will get any ideas…ya nasties.”

Both girls laughed heartily as they followed the others out of the arena.

* * *

 

Lexa felt soft fingers skimming along the ink of her tattoo on her back. She opened her eyes and turned her head. She was laying on her stomach and must have dozed off. Clarke was next to her and had her eyes fixed on Lexa’s back.

“These are new.” She said with a sleepy husky voice.

She lifted up on to her elbows but didn’t roll so the blonde still had a good view of the ink. “I got it a few months after worlds. My friend Lincoln took a lot of inspiration from your designs.”

“I can tell.” She said as she leaned down and pressed a kiss to Lexa’s shoulder blade.

The brunette hummed happily and rolled over so she could clearly look at Clarke. She felt like she was living in a dream but this was real. She pulled the girl down to her and melded their mouths together.

After a few minutes Clarke pulled back and rest her head against Lexa’s shoulder, “I have to go soon.”

Lexa wrapped her arms around her waist, “Just a little longer.”

Clarke sighed and relaxed back into Lexa’s arms, “Okay.”

They were both quiet but then Clarke lifted her head, “Lex?”

Lexa opened her eyes and looked deep into those cerulean orbs, “Hmm?”

“I love you too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See no cliffhanger. We only have one more chapter left, I really can't believe it and I can't believe the response this has gotten...this is just fantastic and I really love hearing from you guys. 
> 
> Okay so far the tally is as follows:
> 
> It Is Time - Atlantis AU - IIII  
> Somewhere New - Safe Haven AU - IIII  
> Footsteps of a Stranger - Pocahontas AU - I  
> Not That Different - Tarzan AU - VII  
> Words Meant Just For Her - Enchanted AU - V
> 
> Tarzan has really pulled out in front but it is really anyone's game still!  
> Also I wanted everyone's opinion on something: I am thinking of doing YouNow livestreams when I am writing. Would that be something you guys are interested in? They wouldn't be super long maybe an hour or two at most, but it would be a way for you guys to know how my writing is going and get little teasers and such. Let me know what you think!


	20. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They have achieved a dream now its time to scream it from the roof tops.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry this took so long to get up guys. I had crazy stuff at work then the Wynonna Earp Finale just floored me and then I had Pride. I am finally back in my normal swing of things so here is a short fluffy end to this epic story. I am so happy that you guys have enjoyed this.

Some time later…

 

The lights were off in the gym and Lexa couldn’t help remember a time much like this one but more couldn’t have changed in between the two.

Clarke was curled into her side as they laid on the trampoline. They had snuck away from their own celebration. Kane had invited everyone; Indra, Lincoln, Gustus, Lexa’s father, Clarke’s mother, as well as all the girls from the gym. It was a fun time but they hadn’t really had time alone together since before worlds.

“So, how do you feel, Miss World Champion?” Lexa said and tickled Clarke’s side.

The girl giggled and pushed Lexa’s hand away, “Like something that was a long time coming.”

Lexa suddenly remembered something that made her heart flutter, “Hey, Clarke?”

She turned so she could see Lexa, “Yes?”

“Worlds is over. We won.” She said and Clarke nodded.

“Yes…and?”

“Well I happen to know where the roof access for this building is…and I have on good authority it is never locked.” Clarke’s eyes lit up as she remembered the same thing that Lexa had thought of.

“Oh really now?” She stood up and Lexa followed her but then she jumped off the tramp and took off at a run.

“Race you there!”

“Lex! I don’t even know where we are going! That’s so not fair!”

When Lexa reached the door she waited for Clarke to catch up. The blonde came around the corner and grabbed Lexa’s wrist as she went for the door.

“That was mean.” She said and pressed Lexa against the wall. She attached her lips to the woman’s neck and Lexa closed her eyes enjoying the feeling. Soon it was gone though and she heard the door opening.

“You little cheater!” Clarke knew her neck was her weakness, she couldn’t ever think straight when those talented lips went on the attack. She took off up the stairs after the blonde and could hear her cackling.

Lexa pushed her legs as hard as she could and soon she could see Clarke only a few steps ahead of her. They had maybe one more flight before they reached the roof and Lexa was determined to get there first. She used her longer legs to take several steps at a time and she passed Clarke by just in time to push through the door first.

She ran out onto the roof top cupped her hands around her mouth and yelled at the top of her lungs, “I love Clarke Griffin!”

Clarke was still breathing heavy from the sprint but she ran to Lexa anyway. The brunette caught her in her arms and spun her around. Clarke kissed her hard and then pulled back to pepper her face and neck with kisses, “You are so cheesy sometimes.”

Lexa just gave her an Eskimo kiss and Clarke giggled, “You love it.”

The blonde nodded as Lexa set her down, “I really do.”

Clarke went up on her tiptoes and brought their lips together in a passionate kiss. Lexa let her lead the pace and moan when Clarke deepened it. Lexa felt fingers tangle in her hair and scratch at her scalp. If she didn’t pedal this back a bit she wouldn’t be able to tell Clarke her other big news. She had wanted to wait until after worlds so she wouldn’t be distracted.

She slowed the pace until she could pull back and take a full breath. Before she could start talking Clarke took a step back and said, “I have something I want to show you.”

“You do?” Apparently Lexa wasn’t the only one keeping something till after worlds.

Clarke reached into her back pocket and pulled out a few folded envelopes. “Before worlds I decided to apply to a few schools. I wanted to have everything ready for if we won, these are my responses. I didn’t open any of them cause I wanted to do it with you, but I didn’t want you to feel too pressured during the tournament.”

“Oh my god, Clarke that is awesome! Well, come on open them!” Lexa said excitedly.

Clarke’s hands shook a bit but she ripped the first envelope open and pulled out the letter:

 

_ Miss Griffin, we are pleased to inform you… _

 

“I got in!” Clarke cheered and hugged Lexa, who was laughing with joy and cheering, as well.

She opened up the rest and received three more acceptance letters. Lexa couldn’t be happier.

“Looks like you have quite a few options. This is so great, Clarke. I’m so happy for you.” Lexa said and gripped her hand, “I have some news for you too.”

Clarke tilted her head, “You do? What kind of news?”

“Well, before worlds Kane came to me with an offer. He wants to build more gyms and do clinics like the one where he found Raven. He wants to make gymnastics more accessible to girls and boys all over the country. He wants me to coach here and travel to help with all these new clinics.” Lexa said and held her breath waiting for Clarke’s opinion.

“That is amazing! What did you tell him?” Clarke asked.

“I accepted.” Lexa said and smiled wide. She had wanted to tell this to Clarke for months and now it felt so good to confide in her.

Clarke wove her fingers with Lexa’s and stared up at the stars that twinkled in the clear night sky. “The future is looking pretty bright, huh?”

Lexa leaned to kiss Clarke slowly and nodded, “As long as I have you it will always be bright.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so dramatic drumroll please............................  
> The next multichapter I will be working on is.....................  
> Tarzan AU!!!!!!!!!!!
> 
> Thank you guys for letting me know what you wanted and I will get started asap. One thing you should know is the way I write my multichapters is I write everything and then post chapters on a schedule. Now that means there won't be much new content for awhile so I came up with an idea. Once a week I'm going to be doing a YouNow writing livestream as I work on this new work. Come hang out for teasers and me rambling while I try and do the writing thing.  
> Also onthe YouNow note I am doing one Thursday at 5 CST that will be an entirely Familyverse focused livestream. Come say hi guys.

**Author's Note:**

> Come talk to me on Tumblr (smttnpegasus.tumblr.com)  
> Love you guys and thanks for all the amazing support.


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